Lost

That's the only way I could describe the two years of my life after the passing of my Granny. My family tried getting me out of my depression by taking me out, but that only worked until I got back home and realized that my Granny was still gone. My friends tried getting me to go out with them to, but after two months of me ignoring their calls they finally gave up.

After that, I threw myself into my games and online life. I became a shut in and only talked to my friends on PS4. I met new friends, ones who shared my love of games and anime. For the longest time, they were the biggest things helping me out of my depression. Though when I got off, there was still that hole in my chest that needed to be filled and I had no idea what to do.

Half a year passed and I found myself not necessarily wanting to die, but maybe hoping I don't live to long a life? I couldn't tell the rest of my family this as it would only make them worry. I loved my family to death but my Granny was really my best friend and mother at the same time. There was nobody I was closer to and there probably never would be.

A year passed and slowly but surely I can feel myself losing any will to go outside. There was no point. My brother was the one who worked. I got survivors benefits so I could just use that money to buy whatever I wanted online. Needless to say it went mostly to pizza and games. I only left the house when it was for a haircut.

I threw myself even deeper into gaming. Making sure I completely every game I had ever bought. I competed in gaming tournaments online and managed to make a little name for myself. Getting messages from people saying I inspired them in whatever game it was I would enter a tournament for made me feel really nice. However, every time I would win the first person I would want to tell about my success was the one person I couldn't.

A year and a half gone and now I've moved out. My brother changed internet providers and I couldn't play games anymore without lagging. He wouldn't agree to change back so I had to move if I wanted to continue my gaming career. There were no hard feelings and him and my sister come by often to visit. Only unfortunate side effect is I have to shop for myself now.

Now here we are, two years later. My gaming career has taken off and while that hole in my chest is still there, I've stopped trying to fill it. Nothing has worked so far so I thought to myself there was no point in trying. I've put all of my efforts into being the best gamer there is. So of course when my friend hits me up about the new VR game I had to see what it was about.

"VRMMORPG with open world pvp elements…" I read from the website. Apparently it already had a beta test and the beta testers were given the opportunity to pre-order immediately after. The rest of the world would get the chance to pre-order tonight. People were already calling it the ultimate challenge for hardcore gamers.

Of course, as a gamer I was excited by the prospect but also terrified. I messaged some of my friends on PSN to see what their thoughts on it were.

Akio: So, that new VR game…..

Tokyo: Instant cop

Fresh: I'm interested, the reviews were mostly positive. Plus it's something we've all been waiting on.

Warren: I'm pre-ordering that shit the instant it becomes available.

Brola: Yeah, I'm copping no matter what.

After seeing everyone's answer, my mind was made up. I grinned as I typed out the next sentence.

Akio: Hell yeah that's what I wanted to see! We gotta make a Guild day one. Jade is gonna be the strongest group there is!

Of course, it's never really that easy is it? Whoever called it the "Ultimate challenge for hardcore gamers" were definitely right. However it was a challenge that a lot were not ready to meet…

Opening chapter to my first Sword Art Online story. It's been roughly two years since I've written something. Thoughts? I hope it wasn't to dark of an opening chapter.