Memories

By: Kinomi Shadow

Kyo sat on the rooftop as he aways did, watching the sunrise off in the distance. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Was he really that worthless?

He paused for a moment pondering that question; the sun's warm rays casting shadows on his face.

Of course I'm worthless! he thought bitterly. His mother had commited suicide and it was all his fault. The girl he loves mother and been struck by a car and the was also his fault. He was going to be locked away forever in the Cat's Room because he is no match for Yuki and that was his stinking fault.

"Kyo-kun?" came Tohru's quivering voice. "Are you okay?"

Kyo gazed breifly in her direction, the averted his gaze.

"Leave me alone," he said bitterly, knowing that if Tohru ever found that it was his fault her mother was gone she would hate him like everyone else.

"Kyo-kun?" Tohru started again shakily. "I-I just wanted to tell you something."

Kyo groaned and looked at her again.

"What?" he said, agitated. "Just spit it out already."

"Iloveyou," she said, running her word together.

Kyo blushed breifly and shook his head.

"That's the dumbest thing I ever heard!" he said, not looking at her.

The sun was now visable and reflected light on Tohru's tears. Kyo caught a glimpse of her trying to hold back her tears and he felt like a fool. But he reasoned that Tohru must be crazy (or Shiguri must have slipped something in her tea) for to say she loved him.

"Is it really the dumbest thing you ever heard, Kyo?" Tohru asked, her chin quivering.

Kyo, on impulse, reach over to brush away her tears. Tohru, in turn flinched and fell backward, about to tumble to the ground. Kyo grabbed her arm and jerked her towards himself and.... POOF!

"AH, I am so sorry!" Tohru said, holding up the orarge furry cat that was Kyo. "I should be more careful! I wasn't thinking, Kyo! I won't say and do dumb things again."

Kyo sighed.

"You're not doing or saying anything dumb," Kyo said slowly. "You're just doing that Tohru thing again."

"What Tohru thing?"

"Where you're butting into my life!"

Tohru's eyes watered again.

"Oh damn I didn't mean it to come out that way!" Kyo groaned. "Look... When I come up here, it's to be by myself. I want to be alone so I can try to forget the bad stuff. Nothing against you, but when I see your face it brings back bad memories. Memories I want to forget!"

"What kind of memories?" Tohru quetioned.

"Like really, really bad memories," Kyo said shaking his head. "Some of which you'd hate me for."

"I could never hate you," Tohru said, her eyes shining in the sunlight making her appear as if she were an angel. "I love you Kyo-kun!"

Kyo sighed. He decided if he was to finally find out if this love stuff really works; if Tohru could really accept the truth, he would tell her.

"It was my fault," Kyo whispered.

Tohru tilted her head, puzzled.

"What was your fault?" She asked innocently.

"Kyoko," he said gazing at the light filtering through the trees. "Her getting ran over was my fault...."

"How was it your fault?" Tohru asked. "Did you know Mom?"

Kyo nodded, tears streaming down his whiskers then... POOF!

"Oh damn it all!" Kyo said, scrambling to get his clothes on.

"I saw nothing!" Tohru said blushing and looking down.

"Anyway," said Kyo, now fully dressed in his cargo pants and black shirt. "As I was saying I knew Kyoko. A few years ago she made me promise to look after you. When you got lost that day, I was the one who gave you that hat. Anyway, yeah, we were kinda close. When that car came at her that day, I could have pushed her out of the way. But I didn't. There were people around and saving her would have cost the Sohma family our secrecy. If all of those people saw me turn into a cat...."

Kyo broke down crying.

"Kyo-kun!" Tohru said. "It's okay!"

"No it's NOT!!!" Kyo screamed. "I might as well have pushed her into that car. She told me she'd never forgive me!!!"

Tohru looked down.

"I still don't hate you," Tohru replied. "And I know Mom does forgive you because Mom always said 'forgiveness keeps the heart happy'. See if Mom forgive you she won't be sad or angry. Just like how I forgive you. It hurts very badly, but I know how much more it hurts you. Forgiveness is apart of healing. I just wish you could forgive yourself..."

Kyo smiled slightly. He felt warm on the inside. Yet again Tohru always knew what to say to make things right. He reached for her hand and took it, knowing no matter what befell them, no matter what bad memories they had, they'd be togther aways.

"I love you too, Tohru," he said as they watched the sun finally rising through the trees. It truly was going to be a beautiful day.