HELLOOO! Ima back on another tuesday with a little one-shot song fic for ya! Raph and Leo centric, the song is How to safe a life By the Fray. I own nothing. Enjoy!
TMNTTMNTTMNTTMNT
Step one, you say,
"We need to talk." Leonardo said, folding his arms over his chest. Raph looked at him, then got to his feet.
He walks, you say,
"Sit down. It's just a talk." Leo encouraged, gesturing to the chair across the table from him. Raph sat down, crossing his arms as well.
He smiles politely back at you
Raph forced a smile, staring straight into Leo's eyes.
You stare politely right on through
His brother returned it, not speaking for a moment.
Some sort of window to your right
Raph fidgeted uncomfortably, glancing away from his brother at last, out the kitchen doorway.
As he goes left and you stay right
After another moment of silence, as Leo wondered what exactly he had been going to say, Raph got to his feet and stormed out, an unreadable expression on his face.
Between the lines of fear and blame
The expression was one Leo wasn't used to seeing on his brother, and wasn't sure if he should be scared of, or feel guilty for. Raph had been practically silent all day long, and he wasn't sure why.
You begin to wonder why you came
He'd been trying to find out what was bothering his brother, and even though no words were spoken, Leo was worried he had just made it worse.
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Leonardo sighed, leaning his head on his hands as he wondered what on earth he was doing. What was he doing? Raph was obviously upset about something.
Somewhere along in the bitterness
They'd grown so far apart, after Leo became leader. He didn't want to be distant from his brothers, but Raphael insisted on being a lone wolf.
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Then again, they were still brothers, Raph had barely slept for three months when Leo was in a coma, and Leo had returned the favor when he had been injured by the creep, so why did they feel so distant anyway?
Had I known how to save a life
Leo sighed and got to his feet, he had to talk to Raph about his current violence and hostility, that's what he'd wanted to talk about when he called his brother over, but something about the walls behind Raphael's eyes had made him hesitate, and Raph had left.
Let him know that you know best
Raph was going to have to accept Leo's leadership sometime or another, and now was a good time to start, Leo figured.
'Cause after all you do know best
Splinter had made Leo the leader for a reason, and Raph was going to have to understand that. Leo sighed, running a hand down his face.
Try to slip past his defense
Raphael was just on the defensive, all the time lately. No matter what they were talking about, Raph seemed to feel like he was in danger because of it, or that they were trying to hold him back, and that's not what Leo was doing.
Without granting innocence
Leo was trying to keep his brothers safe, and having a reckless and hostile brother wasn't safe for any of them, especially not Raphael. Why couldn't Raph just accept that? Leo started out of the kitchen.
Lay down a list of what is wrong
Raphael couldn't keep acting like he didn't need anyone, he had to get a handle on his temper and he had to treat them all with the respect they had earned time after time.
The things you've told him all along
This wasn't the first time Leo had gone to talk to Raph about these things, and it probably wasn't going to be the last. But Leo wasn't going to give up on his brother, not yet.
Pray to God, he hears you
Leo walked through the lair, sensing Michelangelo in the lab with Donatello, probably annoying the purple clad turtle. But he knew Raph wasn't in his room, or the dojo. The red masked turtle must have gone out for a run in the sewers.
And I pray to God, he hears you
Leo grabbed his skateboard and started out, following his gut instincts on where to go to find his brother.
And where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
What was he really going to say? Leo had no idea, he didn't think telling his brother yet again to control his temper would do any good at all, and the thought occurred to him that maybe Raphael just needed a friend.
Somewhere along in the bitterness
They had been best friends when they were younger, why had that changed? Because Leo was the 'favorite son'? That's what Raph said, but Leo had never felt like he was the favorite, he'd figured his father didn't have a favorite.
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Leo sighed, turning a random corner and sending his brotherly senses out, finding no trace of his brother.
Had I known how to save a life
Leo turned another corner and stopped in surprise, Raphael was standing with his back to Leonardo, shoulders heaving as if he'd just run miles, or yelled furiously. When Leo got closer, he saw blood dripping from his brother's knuckles... Or he punched the wall too many times.
As he begins to raise his voice
"Raph?!" Leo asked in shock, Raph hadn't hurt his hands like that for months, what was going on with his brother? Raph turned and glared at his brother.
"What the shell do you want, Leonardo? To scold me? Go ahead."
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
"Raphael, I don't want to scold you." Leo pleaded, stepping closer to his brother, reaching out a hand to inspect the scrapes on Raph's hands, Raph let him look at them. "I just...I wanted to ask you if you would like to hang out, maybe go on a run?" Raph looked at him, surprise making it past the thick built walls in his emerald eyes.
"sure."
Drive until you lose the road
They started jogging side by side through the sewers, Leo was sorely tempted to bring up the topic of either Raph's hands or his temper, but forced himself not to. He was here to be a friend, to be a brother.
Or break with the ones you've followed
Raph started up a ladder to the surface and Leo followed, as soon as the reached the rooftops his brother seemed to transform. Leo almost missed the ghost of a smile on his red masked brother's face as they jumped from one building to another.
He will do one of two things
They stopped on the top of a skyscraper, staring out over the city, when Raphael was actually the one to speak.
"So, fearless, what did you want to talk about?" he turned his green gaze on Leo, who swallowed.
"I...Raphael, are you ok?" he didn't know why he asked that, why wouldn't Raph be ok? But Raphael looked away, not before Leo saw the anguish in his eyes.
He will admit to everything
"Not...not really, bro." the red masked turtle finally replied, almost too quiet to hear. "I haven't been doing so well." Leo blinked, confused, and Raph looked back at him.
"What do you mean, are you sick?" a hesitant nod and shrug. "What is that suppose to mean, Raph? Are you sick or not?"
Or he'll say he's just not the same
"Not the kind you're thinkin'." Raph said softly, shaking his head slowly. "Leo, I dunno what's wrong with me."
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Leo stared at his brother for a moment, what was Raph talking about? Was he alright? Injured? Ill? Apparently not 'the way he was thinking' so not ill most likely. What was wrong with Raphael?
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
To Leonardo's surprise, Raphael's shoulders started to shake and he turned away. Raphael hardly ever let anyone see him cry, and it always gave him a headache.
Somewhere along in the bitterness
"Raph…" Leo reached out a hesitant hand to his brother, Raph never needed comfort like this. Leo knew that for Mikey he should hold his brother close and let him cry, and to Let Donnie vent and then fall asleep next to him on the couch, but Raph? Raph never cried, Raph got angry.
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Leo gently put a hand on Raph's shoulder, it seemed right. Raph wasn't touchy feely, he was strong and silent, that's just how he was, but one hand on his shoulder seemed to do the trick, at least in Leo's mind.
Had I known how to save a life
"I've been...thinkin' things." Raph whispered hoarsely, "and they ain't good, Leo, but I can't tell myself a reason not to...wanna die."
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Leo stared at his brother, unsure of whether he'd heard him right or not. Want to die? Raph wanted to die? He was...Raph had suicidal thoughts? Leo had never thought about that, not for Raph. Raph was just so strong, why would Raphael want to die?
Somewhere along in the bitterness
"I just feel like a burden." Raph continued, fists clenched. "I'm hostile and angry...and after father died I just...I don't have anyone, Leo."
And I would have stayed up with you all night
"Raph, you have me. You always will have me." Leo said softly, stepping closer to his brother, for his own comfort as much as Raph's.
Had I known how to save a life
"I guess I never thought I did." Raph said softly.
How to save a life
"Well you do now." Leo replied, leaning his head against Raph's.
How to save a life
"I dunno if I can keep doing this." Raphael said softly, "I just...I feel so done with everything."
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
"I'm sorry, Raph, I really am. But you aren't a burden, I didn't mean to make you feel that way."
Somewhere along in the bitterness
"But you did." Raph said softly, "I know you didn't mean it, but you're just...you're just that. You're everything I should be...everything I wish I could be, but I'm not. Because you're better than me, and I'm just a burden."
And I would have stayed up with you all night
"You aren't just a burden." Leo said firmly, turning Raph to look in his downcast green eyes. "Understand? You've saved my life, you've saved earth, really. Raph, I love you bro."
Had I known how to save a life
"I know, that's why I feel like a burden." Raph said, still soft, "you care about me even if I don't deserve it, because that's how good you are. You care about me when I don't even care about myself."
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Leo didn't know what to say, what could he say? That he felt the same about himself, a few times the last year? No, Raph didn't need that. Raph needed support, Raph needed his brothers.
Somewhere along in the bitterness
"You should care about yourself, because you matter." Leo said softly, "alright, Raph? You matter to me, and if you died, I wouldn't be able to handle it. We need you, so much. So so much. And I'm sorry I made you feel like this."
And I would have stayed up with you all night
"Leo…" Raph shook his head. "Thanks. For runnin' with me, if you didn't… well, if you didn't show up then I was finally gonna do it. But you came, and I thought to myself, that you care."
"Of course I care, I'm your brother." Leo replied, staring lovingly into his brother's emerald eyes, which for so long had been stone cold and expressionless, but were now letting down the walls Raph had built up.
Had I known how to save a life
"Shoulda guessed you would." Raph chuckled, shaking his head. "Shell, Leo, I love you so much bro." to Leo's surprise, his temperamental brother embraced him, shaking. "Thank you...so much." Raphael started to sob, making Leo's throat tighten as well.
How to save a life
"It was nothing." Leo replied, embracing his brother just as tightly, letting Raph sob onto his shoulder, the red masked brother of his was going to get one shell of a headache after this. Neither of them seemed to care, they stood there for a long time, simply hugging each other and comforting. Leo was suddenly glad he had listened to his heart on this one.
How to save a life
TMNTTMNTTMNT
Well, there you go! sorry it's a short one this week, but I think I'm going to be starting a pretty long one next week! and for the people Following my story 'Loneliness'...I'm sorry to say that no inspiration has come :( But Don't worry! I'll be working on it the next few months while you read the next one coming up! thank you for reading this and please review!