Heart's Desire
Hazy light filtered in through the small gap between the curtains and the sound of birds singing served as a beautiful background noise, to the two women lying embracing on the bed. Emma lay on her back, with Regina curled into her, her head lying on Emma's shoulder. Their legs were entwined and while Regina left hand was softly running up and down Emma's arm, Emma's left hand was stroking through Regina's soft hair and her right hand was gripping her silken nightshirt.
They had been lying in near silence since they woke. At approximately 5.00am, young Calon Mills had woken the whole house with a loud scream! Both mothers had jumped out of bed and even Henry had come running – it was such an unusual noise to have come from the baby. As Regina reached in and picked him up, he quieted immediately and cuddled into his Mom, calming instantly and just moments later he was fast asleep again. Emma and Regina carefully checked him over for any sort of injuries and concluded that he must have had a nightmare to have woken up in such a manner.
Henry was sent back to bed and although they both returned to their bed neither could turn off enough to return to sleeping. So they lay awake, wrapped in each other. They had been there for probably fifteen minutes or so, though neither woman was counting, just enjoying the closeness and the chance to be alone (and awake).
Regina was the first to break the silence.
She looked up into Emma's face and then softly kissed her neck. "I love you Emma". Emma returned the kiss, once to the top of Regina's head and then angling her head to kiss Regina softly on the lips. Regina returned the kiss chastely and as lips met over and over the women moaned softly, until Emma pulled back and tucked Regina's head under her chin. "I love you too, beautiful".
"Emma? Are you happy? Here? With me? With the boys? Is it enough for you? Am I enough for you?" Regina's voice was nervous, quiet - almost childlike. Her head stayed tucked into Emma's neck and she gripped onto Emma's arm.
Emma was silent for a moment. And that moment felt like days to Regina. She wished she had never asked. She wished she could suck the words back into her mouth and just continue lying there, happily basking in her love's embrace. Suddenly there was movement, and just as she thought Emma was about to get out of bed and run, she found herself lying on her back looking up into emerald eyes that were wet and glistening.
"I love you Regina. I love you. Never. Never doubt that. You have my heart and I love you so much. You and the boys – suddenly my life makes sense. I'm happy. Honestly one hundred percent happy, for the first time in my life. Everything I've ever wanted has landed in my lap. Me! Emma Swan! I've got a great job that I love doing. I live in a nice house" she gave Regina a cheeky wink, "my faithful bug still runs" Regina rolled her eyes at that one. "But more than that. More importantly than all of that cool stuff – I've got a family. I've finally got my family. I have the two most gorgeous sons. I don't think I could possibly love them more. I wake up every morning excited about what the boys will do, how will they change, will Calon say Mama or Mommy first? Hahaha" Regina joined in the laughter. "But if there was only you. If I lived in a box, if – god forbid – there were no Henry and Calon, if I had nothing in my life. As long as I still have you, I'm happy. You are all I need. You are all I want. Am I happy? Only because of you. Are you enough for me? Hell yeah. You are all I'll ever need. I." kiss "Love." kiss "You."
Regina and Emma kissed. Lips locked and Regina moaned. She pulled Emma closer to her, until Emma was lying flat out on top of her. Emma eased out of the kiss and dropped sweet kisses on Regina's nose, eyelids, cheek and slid down to kiss Regina's neck. Before she got Regina hot and bothered, Emma stopped and laid her head on Regina's shoulder, much like Regina had been doing earlier.
"I remember watching a show where they asked people to imagine where they would be in ten years time and then they went back and found them to see if anyone was right." Regina frowned and looked down at Emma, unsure where she was going with this. But Emma was on a roll. "Well, some people had these huge dreams, like, becoming a doctor, or opening a restaurant or retiring really early. And some people assumed they would be married with families. But they all wanted change, they didn't want to stay the same." Emma got up on one elbow and looked at Regina. "If you asked me the same question – where will I be in ten years time? – I want to be here. Preferably lying in your arms, but I know that we have to leave this bed sometime! But really, I want everything to stay the same. Calon and Henry will be ten years older and will have completely different lives and I know that our lives will change to accommodate their changes….but I'm so happy. I don't want my life to change at all. You are enough for me. This, all this, is enough for me." After kissing Regina once more she laid her head back on Regina's shoulder and fiddled with the buttons on Regina's nightshirt.
"Ask me the question Emma". Emma stayed silent. She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer. "Ask me where I see myself in ten years Emma". Regina was a high flyer, she was ambitious. Her life was on the up and, although Emma knew that Regina loved her, she wasn't sure she wanted to know where she was in Regina's long term plans. And then she was on her back. While she hesitated, Regina flipped her over and was hovering above her, mirroring the manoeuvre that Emma had used only moments before. Dark eyes bored into her, until she could stand it no longer and she closed her eyes tight.
"Okay then. Keep your eyes closed Emma and imagine. Henry will be in college, in his final year. He'll be top of his class naturally and we'll be exceptionally proud. He'll be dating, seriously, and we'll be wondering if they'll get engaged before or after they graduate. Calon will be ten. He'll be tearing around the place, a bundle of unstoppable energy just like his Ma. He'll be doing well in school, but he'll be more sporty than academic, the star player in the football team his Ma still coaches. I'll still be Mayor, because, let's face it, no one is going to challenge me!
And I'll be married to the love of my life".
Emma's eyes shot open. Surely Regina didn't mean her. But one look at Regina answered every question that Emma had. Yes, Regina meant Emma. Regina had tears in her eyes. "I'm so happy Emma, you make me so happy. And the only thing that I want to change is, I want to be your wife. But, like you, I don't want things to change. I want to stay just as we are. I love you Emma. A little bit more each day." They kissed. Softly and sweetly, until Regina deepened it and tongues met. Regina eventually wrenched her mouth away from Emma's and began kissing down her neck. Emma looked over her shoulder to the clock next to the bed and saw that it was still very early. The boys wouldn't be up for a little while, so there was time.
"Hey Regina," Emma purred, "Wanna play while we're still young….."