You Found Me
AN:Hi, Mentalist fandom! Why aren't Jane and Lisbon canon yet? They're just perfect! Well, I hope you like this story! I don't own anything at all to do with The Mentalist because if I did, Jane and Lisbon would be together already! :)
He's dead.
He's finally dead.
It took eight years of working with the CBI, but Patrick Jane had finally found the man that killed his wife and daughter. A bullet to the heart was what brought him to his death, shot by none other than Teresa Lisbon.
His attic seemed darker today. It almost fit the occasion. Back-and-forth, back-and-forth, Jane couldn't stop pacing. He told himself that it was the adrenaline rush, but whom was he kidding?
Memories came flooding back way too fast and all at once. Everything he had ever hoped for had finally happened, but… now what? That's what scared him the most. He knew that everyone expected him to get up and move on, to go and restart his life. Honestly, he hadn't got that far. Jane had been so obsessed with Red John that he didn't have the time to plan the rest of his life. Did that make him pathetic? Absolutely, but at least he accepted it.
From the chair, to the bed, to the floor, pacing. Jane couldn't decide. Frankly, he didn't care as long as he just didn't have to think anymore.
9:03 PM. Five hours ago, Teresa Lisbon shot Red John right in the heart and killed him. It was over in seconds. Now the last paper concerning him was staring her in the face. It was just sitting there on her desk, waiting for a signature. One initial and the case was closed. Done. Over. And that scared her to death.
She knew that this moment would happen sometime, but she never wanted to think about it. She knew that Jane was only working with her to get to Red John. Now what? Was he going to leave the CBI and go start a new life somewhere else? Honestly, she couldn't picture her life without him. He was a complete pain in the ass, made her do more paperwork than she ever had, and caused her to lose her job more than once, but she had to admit that she kind of liked it. She liked the way he pushed her, how they bounced ideas off of each other, how she could never really read him. Lisbon was going to miss it. All of it. She didn't want it to be over.
"Not tonight," she thought.
She would talk to Jane, make sure he was okay, and then sign the paper. She just wanted him to be happy, whether it hurt her or not.
Speaking of Jane…
"I haven't seen him in hours," she thought. "I hope he didn't…Oh God. Did he…did he run away again? Did…did he leave?"
Panic set in as Teresa Lisbon tried to decide what to do. Running over to the window, she saw that his car was still in the same spot as several times before and relief washed over her.
"Alright, calm down Teresa. He's still here. He didn't leave. That can only mean one thing… The attic."
She knocked lightly on the big attic door. No answer.
"Jane?" Lisbon said, pulling the door open. "I wasn't sure if you—"
She stopped midsentence at the sight before her. Jane was sitting on the floor, his back against the frame of his so-called bed. He looked… Lost. Like the first day he showed up at the CBI. He was just staring at the wall, with a blank expression, and honestly, she couldn't blame him.
Without a word, Lisbon went and sat next to him in silence. She was there, he was there, and that's all that mattered. She would stay there with him forever if she had to.
She sat with her hands in her lap, staring down, lost in thought. She wondered if Jane was mad at her, but what was she supposed to do? Red John had her at knifepoint. Was she supposed to wait for Jane to make a move? No. She did the right thing and she wasn't going to beat herself up.
"See? This is what he does to me," she thought. "Dammit. I hate him. I hate him."
And right when she was about to speak, Jane grabbed her hand.
He didn't speak, he didn't dare look at her, he just grabbed her hand and held it in his lap. He played with her fingers, examining them. She swore he was committing every scar, every freckle, every indent to memory; and he was.
Jane found Lisbon fascinating. She was strong, independent, and had all of the courage to put her past behind her. That's what Jane wondered about the most. They were exactly the same people, both broken beyond repair, yet they were different. She moved on and he didn't know if you ever would. She could help him though. She always offered. Maybe now, now that he's dead, Jane could finally take her up on that offer.
"Thank you."
It was barely a whisper, but she heard it.
Lisbon didn't say anything. She just squeezed his hand to reassure him that she would always be there.
"No, Teresa. I mean it. I mean thank you for everything. Especially for killing him, but for putting up with me, helping me, giving me a place to go when I had nothing. Just… thank you."
Lisbon was dead silent. She tried, but she honestly had no idea what to say. She just stared at him with wide eyes.
"Jane… You… You're welcome," she said with a sigh.
"You know that I'm always here for you, okay? Just… Don't shut me out. I know you. I know how you work and you think you have to torture yourself every day. Dammit, Jane. Just talk to me. Let me try to help you. Please."
She had no idea when, but somehow in the middle of her rant Lisbon got off the floor and was standing over Jane.
She was frustrated, he could tell. He had never seen so much hurt in her eyes and that ripped him to pieces. He was the one that caused her pain and in that moment he swore that he would make it up to her. Somehow, someday, he would return the favor.
"Okay," Jane said.
"Okay?" Questioned Lisbon.
"Yes, okay. Lisbon, I know I need to move on. Red John is dead and I really don't even know how I feel. What I do know is that there's no more chase, no more searching, no more smiley faces drawn in blood. I have you to thank for that. I wanted to kill him. I really, really did, but seeing him holding you there with that knife… I just… I froze. It made me think about a lot of things. I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost you to him too."
Just like Lisbon, Jane was now off the floor, standing in front of her. As soon as he finished his speech, he pulled her into a hug.
This hug, though, was different than all the others. They held each other like they would never let go.
Lisbon clung to him, bunching up his vest in her hands until her knuckles turned pure white.
She cared about him. Way more than she would ever admit and that scared the hell out of her.
Jane held her as tight as he could. He never wanted to let her go again. Seeing her almost die right in front of him changed things.
He cared about her. Way more than he could ever imagine and that scared the hell out of him.
Caring meant moving on and moving on meant dealing with the past.
Before he knew it, the tears escaped his eyelids. He pulled back from the hug just enough to rest his forehead on hers. To his surprise, she was crying too.
In that moment, every emotion that the two had felt that day came crashing down like a ton of bricks. They just stood there, holding each other's faces, brushing the tears from each other's cheeks.
"I'm so glad you're okay," Jane whispered.
"Me?" Lisbon said, laughing through her tears. "Look at you!"
Jane laughed and wiped his eyes, reluctant to let her go.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to just… you know," he smiled, pointing to his face.
"Jane, don't ever be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about. This is the most emotional I've ever seen you in the eight years that we've worked together," Lisbon said. "Frankly, I'm relieved. I was beginning to worry that you may not be human!" she joked, playfully punching him in the shoulder.
"I just can't believe he's finally dead."
"Neither can I."
"You shot him." Jane stated.
"Jane…I…Yeah. I did."
"That's the nicest thing you've ever done for me. Thank you."
"You're welcome."
Lisbon was honestly shocked. She really thought that he was never going to speak to her again and here he was, thanking her.
"God, today is a weird day," she thought.
She couldn't be happier though. She had no idea what was next for him, but at least their relationship wasn't completely shattered. They still had a chance.
"You're okay?" Lisbon finally spoke.
"I'm okay. I'm not in jail; I'm not dead, you're not dead. I'm good." Jane responded with a hint of confidence in his voice.
It was almost refreshing to hear that tone of his voice. He sounded like a new man. He sounded…happier.
"Good," Lisbon said, looking up to smile at him.
They stared at each other with a newfound admiration that they both had never really felt before. It was an understanding. It was acceptance. It was love.
Jane had devoted his whole entire life to Angela and Charlotte and he was proud of it. He did what he set out to do, though. He made them happy while he could and he avenged them when he had to. Now, it was time to move on. He knew it would take time, he knew that he would never dream of replacing his family, but he also knew that they would want him to be happy again. Hell, Charlotte even told him to move on when he was hallucinating and not so subtlety hinted at doing just that with Lisbon. He would always love them, no matter what, but maybe there was just a little more room in his heart.
"I need your help."
"Alright. With what?" Lisbon asked, a bit skeptical.
He grabbed her hand and started out of the attic.
"Come with me."
And without a second thought, Lisbon followed him wherever he was about to lead her.
Pulling up to Jane's house, Lisbon couldn't say that she was surprised. This is where it happened. This is where it all went down. He would have to make peace with that sometime and she was more than willing to help him. This was a huge step for them, for him, to let her in. Though she didn't know what she agreed to, Lisbon decided that whatever it was, it was worth it. He was worth it.
Never letting go of her hand, Jane led her inside.
The house looked exactly like it had the last time she was here. It was dusty and looked as though no one had lived there for quite some time. She knew that he occasionally slept at the CBI or at his motel, but had he really not been home for that long? Did it hurt him that much?
Leading her upstairs, he opened the door to the room that Lisbon knew all too well. There, staring both of them in the face was the blood red smiley face.
She studied Jane's face. He was so hard to read sometimes. He seemed almost… okay. Accepting. He was hurt, she could tell, but it wasn't as bad as the times before. Maybe he really was okay.
"Jane…" Lisbon tested.
He squeezed her hand, reassuring her that he was indeed all right, just thinking.
"Teresa," he turned and looked her straight in the eyes, "I'm alright. I promise."
She responded with a nod.
"I brought you here because I'm ready to move on. I'm ready to start over, start a new life, be a better man and…and I couldn't think of anyone I'd rather do that with than you."
Now, that? That is not what Lisbon was expecting. At all.
"Are… Jane, what?" she muttered.
Never in a million years did Teresa Lisbon imagine this moment. She stared at him like he was some sort of alien. Thousands of emotions flashed across her face. She couldn't believe this was happening. If this was some sort of sick joke, it wasn't funny.
He pointed to a paint can on the floor, with a tray and two rollers next to it, and spoke again.
"Teresa, I've kept that can of paint there for a year now. I knew that we would find him. I knew that, somehow, we would find him and we would kill him. This is the last step. Once we get rid of that smiley, it's completely over."
"We?" Lisbon asked.
"Yes, we. I can't do this alone. I need your help. That's why I brought you here."
It didn't get any more sincere than that, especially from Patrick Jane. Without hesitation, Lisbon let go of his hand and walked over to start opening the paint can. Looking over her shoulder, she saw that Jane was still standing in the doorway, smiling.
"Are you coming or what?"
Jane just laughed and smiled even wider, making his way over to where Lisbon stood. That was the first time Jane had ever laughed, actually truly laughed, in that room. It was a room burdened with grief, despair, and now, laughter? Seemed a bit cynical, but that was the old Patrick Jane. Everything was about to change.
Pouring the paint in its tray, he picked up a roller and began to douse it in paint. Lisbon soon did the same. This was it. This was the moment that Jane had waited all these years for.
They stood in front of the wall, side by side, staring at the red figure.
"Are you sure that you're ready?" Lisbon spoke, turning to look at him.
"I'm ready."
And with those two words, Jane grabbed her hand and they covered the wall in paint together. Lisbon kept her hand in his the whole time and never tore her eyes from his face. Pretty soon, the dark red smiley face was nowhere to be found. It was finally gone and it felt incredible.
Throwing their rollers back in the tray, Jane slid down the wall and pulled her down with him. He felt…free, relieved, and ready to start anew, particularly with Lisbon. She had been his rock, his everything really. She saved him in more ways than one and he would spend the rest of his life making that up to her. He turned to look her dead in the eyes and began to speak.
"I meant what I said before. I want it to be you. I…I need you."
"Jane…I don't… I don't know what to say."
"Then don't say anything. Just listen. You've been there for me for eight years. You've killed for me, you've risked your career for me, and you were willing to die for me. You're strong and you're beautiful and you deserve so much better than what I've given you, but I want to try. I want to make it up to you and I want to give you everything that you deserve. I want to cook you breakfast every morning and hold you after a tough case and watch you dance to that Spice Girls CD."
She had no idea when, but sometime during his speech she began to cry. No one had ever said anything so amazing to her before. No one had ever made her feel more wanted than him, right then.
Wait a minute… How did he know that she dances to that Spice Girls CD? She blushed and laughed aloud through her tears. He always knew exactly how to push her buttons and she had to admit that she absolutely loved that about him.
"How did you—?"
He cut her off mid sentence with a finger on her lips.
"Nope. No talking. I'm not done. Anyway, I still refuse to do paperwork and I'm still going to approach cases the way I always do, but I promise that I'll try my hardest to behave," he said, trying to lighten the mood. "But Teresa, I mean it. I mean every word. I just want you to be happy and have everything your heart desires. You deserve it. Maybe I'm selfish, God knows I have been in the past, but I want you all to myself and I'm not willing to give you up without a fight."
He tore his gaze away from her and focused on the floor, praying that she felt the same way. He wasn't sure if he could handle that much rejection at this point.
"Are you done?" Lisbon asked, smiling.
"Yes, now I am done."
"Good, because that was the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me. Thank you."
"I should be the one thanking you. You saved me. But you're welcome. It's true."
"Jane…I…We work together…I just—"
And she was cut off by his lips on hers. It was exactly how Lisbon had imagined it. It was slow and romantic, just enough to make her fall that one extra step for him. He was good at everything, wasn't he? Breaking the kiss, a bit too early for her liking, Jane moved his free hand to her cheek and brushed the remaining tears from her face. Anyone could tell that she was head over heels for him, but she could care less. She was in love with him.
"Dammit, Jane. How do you do that?"
"Do what?" Jane asked, worried that he'd done something horribly wrong.
"Make me just forget about everything like that. I could be so angry with you or so confused and then you go and do something so caring. Hell, you got me fired and I didn't even care. How did you make me fall in love with you?" Lisbon sighed.
"Is that an 'I want to be with you too, Patrick' in Lisbon talk?" Jane retorted with a huge grin on his face.
"You're unbearable." She said, rolling her eyes with her signature Lisbon pout.
Grinning, she pulling him toward her with a hand behind his neck and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. She wasn't letting him go. They were stuck with each other for a very long time.
The fight was finally over and Patrick Jane had clearly won.