She took a drink of the vodka she managed to smuggle into the house by some miracle . Just a sign this was the best thing to do . The liquid felt like fire searing her throat , but just as fast as the pain started it resided . Huh , funny , just like cutting . It used to be a quick escape and it only took just deeper than a paper cut , little more than a scratch . She couldnt see anything , hear or feel anything but pain and it felt like she was flying . It was as if she was dying a little .

Those little slices of death oh how i loathe them

- Edgar A. Poe

It was beautifully black and silent , leaving her with nothing but her toughts . Her thoughts usually had a low song or ideals that would make most others cry . But she had ran out of tears long ago . Dont mistake her for a fool that thought they were completely alone , she was a realist always knowing the place of natural order . She knew she had her immediate family and a handful of friends / aquantences , but she also knew that she was easily replaced and markful . The teen also knew about democracy, and some part of her brain held it close , majority rules here and majority says anything but kind words .

Kill yourself already

just die

i hope you die painfully

idiot

fuck up

the world would be better if you went away , please do everyone a favor and kill yourself

monster freakbicth,fuckyou,yourmotherisawhore,mistake

lonly girl the vocies that are said spin and mix in her head ... I want to stop breathing , NOW !

- Rolling Girl ; Hatsune Miku ( Vocaloid )

She laughed remembering her first beating, she was sore for days . She used to be so weak . But now she couldnt even feel a dull blade gashing her arm or leg . Suficed to say she had little emotion but oddly enough was a grand actress . As she took the bottle from her lips it was half way gone . She sloshed the clear drink around already feeling dizzy . Smiling she made her way around the kitchen heading up the stairs to the bathroom . She loved her parents date days ; no one was home . tunning on the water she popped in the plug for the tub . She had to make this look like an accident, then maybe , hopefully , her family could get some sort of payment for her useless life . She sat at the eage of the tub looking down at her clothes; her per-usual hoddie and pants. Alcohol hazing her mind , she frantically took off the hoodie tossing it to the floor . Her tank top hung loosely around her shoulders, but , as always tight around her midsection . Not that wight ever took a toll on her , if you were going to live , live happy she said . a broken smile wiggled its way on her slightly chapped lips . ' if you were going to live , live happily ' what a justification to life for someone in her situation. It didnt help that her family mumbled their 'love you kid's quietly and she could feel their glres on her back . She didn't do anythin- oh yeah she was born out of wed lock .

She had tried to take her life before , but this time she was ever fed up with failing , this time was the last time . She slipped off her pants , leaving her in her tank , socks , and underwear . She couldnt count all of her scares anymore . They danced across her legs like weeds in a medow and on her wrists like lace gloves . Sacrifices for a dead mind and broken heart . Taking a large gulp of vadka , stopping the flow of ice cold water out of the pipes . She wasn't going comfortably, she didnt deserve that . She was surprised to feel hot liquid slide down her cheeks whilst she slipped into the opposingly ice cold water . She said a prayer, bagging for the forgiveness of God to her sins

lieing

hurting others

greed

being an inconvenience

useing Lords name in vain

... And many others

Closing her eyes as she slightly flotes in the shallow grave . Sighing she asked one last favor

forgive me for killing myself

She didnt know why this would be a sin , but she didn't want to go to Hell . A huge waight lifted from her sholders weather from the alcohol or if she was truly forgiven and accepted by a higher power . She then lowered her head into the numming water . The alcohol slowed her thoughts and actions , and she breathed in the strangly thick liquid . And it didnt burn . It didnt feel like anything after it slid past her throat . Accualy she felt like she was flying , she was free .

A bright white light that wasnt at all harming to look at let alone admire .

Everything went blissful black .

... To Wonderland ... She whispered to herself

!

it took three days before the body of local teen Alice _ was found in her home . The parents didnt come home for they had desided to in long their date and stay at a hotel . The girl , only 14 had committed suicide ...

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In other news the local highschool celibrates a unknown occasion