At first, Gintoki was indescribably angry.
Kagura was eighteen when she came with her sadistic boyfriend and boldly announced that she was currently a human incubator.
Confused beyond belief, Shinpachi and Gintoki asked what the hell that had meant.
"What she wants to say danna, is that, she's pregnant with my brat."
Silence loomed the room. The air was constricting. Gintoki thought there might have been something wrong with his brain to be having a hallucination in broad day light. Maybe he was still in dream land where he's currently having a horrible nightmare.
"I think there's something wrong my ears Gin-san. What did Okita-san say just now? Someone's brat was pregnant in the incubator?"
"Oi, stop being stupid megane. What are you twisting sadist and my words for? I said I'm a human incubator. I'm prenant. I'll be a ballon in a few months. I'll be a mothe-"
"STOP! NO! That can't be right!" Gintoki shouted with his eyes bulging. "You're still a child that needs to be spoon fed every morning, lunch and dinner! You're a clueless kid that eats her own booger! Tell me you're joking. Come on, I'll give you 300
/yen. I'll give you all the damn sukonbo in this entire town!" Gintoki firmly grabbed Kagura's shoulders, his eyes wide and red, and his sweat dripping down his forehead.
Without missing a beat, Sougo drew his sword and hovered it just above Gintoki's arms.
"Danna, could you please stop shaking china. I'd hate to cut off your arm if something happens to my brat you know."
Pause.
Faster than anyone could see, Gintoki charged at Sougo, his hands on the brown-haired shinsengumi officer's collar, pushing him to the wall, making a scary face and glaring at him.
"You little shit! What're you doing getting your rod anywhere near out Kagura's little cavern huh? She's an alien that could crush your little rod into tiny little pieces! Ever think about how she'd bend you when your stick goes into-"
Gintoki was sent flying to his table.
"How bout I bend you to knots until you become a human pretzel Gin-chan."
On the corner of the room, Shjnpachi watched on like a statue. His glasses cracked, his skin pale as snow. If you add in seven small little people, paint his lips red and glued a pigtail or two on his head, he'd be called Snow White with him being a damsel
/and in distress.
In his mind, a pen and a pineapple swirled violently with the pen doing outrageous things to the pineapple. Shinpachi's already blood-shot eyes bled red.
Kagura became an adult before him.
He coughed up blood and passed out right then and there, looking like he was sniped in the head.
OoOoOoOoOoOoO
Just wrote this a while ago. Seriously, I want to know what happensif something like this happens.
By the way, before anyone asks, I was completely bullshitting the title. I don't know what it means either.
I hope this was at least an entertaining read.