Hey everyone! A few things before we start this fanfic.
This is my first fanfic on here, so apologies if I don't do this that well. I'll gladly accept advice and constructive criticism!
This is a one-shot, so please don't ask for more chapters.
I'm naming the main character Hensoku, to make him fit in more with the other Japanese names.
This story is in Monika's point of view. I don't hate Monika, she's actually a very well written yandere in my opinion, and I honestly think she's one of the characters that suffers the most.
Synopsis: Monika succeeds in getting Sayori to hang herself, but this time, things don't go as planned, with the game realizing the errors going on, and removing Monika's ability to mess with code...and she pays the ultimate price for her jealousy.
WARNING: This fanfiction deals with child abuse, self harm, depression, and suicide. If you find these things triggering, it's perfectly fine to skip this fanfic and find something happier related to this game. Also, I do not in any way condone self harm or suicide. If you feel the urges to do something like that, please seek professional help. The thought processes of Monika do not reflect mine.
-an exception has been removed-
It's the day of the festival. And, if everything goes to plan, Sayori should be making her noose by now. Perfect. That file was way too easy to manipulate. It's not as easy for the player, I can tell they're using Steam by now. Whether they're streaming or not is still a question. I'll need to prepare my jumpscare just in case. Eh, I'll probably find out once I fully break the game. Can they even see the stuff I can? Probably not. I decide to mess with Yuri and Natsuki again. Ah, good. Natsuki's father is getting more and more violent by the day. I barely have to affect that statistic of her. Yuri and the player have been getting along...ugh. I've heard her whispering to herself about him. I really have to kick it up a notch on her obsession. The game has been glitching recently. Maybe if I mess with the code...
01000001 00100000 01010110 01001001 01010010 01010101 01010011 00100000 01001000 01000001 01010011 00100000 01000010 01000101 01000101 01001110 00100000 01000100 01000101 01010100 01000101 01000011 01010100 01000101 01000100 00101110 00100000 01000101 01010010 01010010 01001111 01010010 00101110 00100000 01000101 01010010 01010010 01001111 01010010 00101110 00100000 01000100 01000101 01010100 01000101 01000011 01010100 01001001 01001110 01000111 00101110 00101110 00101110 01010010 01000101 01001101 01001111 01010110 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01000101 01011000 01000011 01000101 01010000 01010100 01001001 01001111 01001110 00101110 00101110 00101110 00101110
I freak out so hard I knock over the chair I'm sitting on. My head bangs against the wooden floor, which is probably going to give me a wild headache today. But...the code does NOT usually act like this. Is the player experimenting? I can't just outright ask them. I shrug it off, it most likely means nothing. Maybe they're smarter than I anticipated. I head to school, smirking when I pass Sayori's house.
You can't have him now, bitch.
I almost giggle when I catch a glimpse of the player, shrugging when Sayori doesn't come to meet him, and just walking without her. The person he controls really is a jerk, isn't he...?
Not like it's going to matter much soon.
"Hensoku!"
"Thanks for being early!"
"That's funny, I though at least Yuri would be here by now."
I groan at the very mention of her existence. It always comes up, every conversation with him. Eh, at least she's next on my checklist. I grab the little booklets of everyone's poems, putting them on the podiums. I smile at Sayori's, knowing exactly what she means by hers. Honestly, such a shame she won't be here to perform it. It would weird out everyone anyway. I'm doing them and the player a favor.
"I'm surprised you didn't bring Sayori with you."
I'm not surprised.
"Yeah, she overslept again..."
"That dummy."
"You'd think that on days this important, she'd try a little harder..."
And I'm glad the player is most likely nowhere near as much of a jerk as you, main character.
"Ahaha!"
"You should really take a little responsibility for her, Hensoku!"
"I mean, especially after your exchange with her yesterday..."
"You kind of left her hanging this morning, you know?"
I'm not kidding.
"Exchange...?"
"Monika-you know about that!?"
"Of course I do!"
"I'm the club president, after all."
"But-!"
The main character quickly becomes flustered. It's comical how he can be a jerk one minute and an embarrassed high schooler with a harem, full of hot girls he all has crushes on, the next. Oh wait. Isn't that this game...?
"Jeez..."
"You don't know the full story at all, so..."
Actually, I kinda do.
"Don't worry!"
"I probably know a lot more than you think."
"Eh?"
"Hey, do you wanna check out the pamphlets?"
"They came out really nice!"
Look, main character, I know I like the guy that's controlling you, but you're being a jerk, so I will put you in your rightful place.
"Yeah, sure."
"Oh yeah, they really did."
"Something like this will definitely help people take the club more seriously."
Won't help them take you seriously.
"Yeah, I thought so too!"
I watch as the player flips through the pages of the booklet, finding Sayori's poem. I eagerly watch as he reads the poem, watching him as chills run up his spine.
Did you really think she would be fine after you rejected her?
"Ah-"
"Hensoku?"
"What's wrong?"
"Ah, nothing..."
Even now, you still act as if it's nothing.
"I-I changed my mind!"
Good.
"I'm going to get Sayori, so..."
You won't exactly get her in the way you want.
"Ah-"
"Well, alright."
"Try not to take too long, okay?"
Take all the time you want.
"Don't strain yourself~"
You most likely deserve the strain right now.
Finally, he's going over to her now. I try to sense what's going on over at Sayori's, but...
What the hell!?
Is this related to what the code did earlier? I swear, if someone here did something to mess me up!
Eh, it doesn't matter. I'll just delete Sayori, and...
01001101 01101111 01101110 01101001 01101011 01100001 00101110 01100011 01101000 01110010 00101100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100001 01100011 01100011 01100101 01110011 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01100111 01110010 01100001 01101101 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110011 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100101 01101110 00100000 01100100 01100101 01101110 01101001 01100101 01100100 00101110
I instantly look up a binary translator on the PC I'm using. I need to know what's going on! This is not normal...did the player get some kind of mod!? They should have at least told me! Well, they probably couldn't, due to the options. Dang it! I quickly find a top translator on Google, download it, and quickly put the binary into it...
Monika, your access to this program has been denied.
No.
No no no.
NONONONONONONONO!
How the hell does the game know!? I...I used everything I could to throw it off, I!...no...it must have sensed the code in time...fuck fuck fuck! NO! NO NO NO NO NO! I haven't even thought of what to do in this outcome! What happens when Natuski and Yuri find out!? What happens when the player figures out my comment on him leaving her hanging!? WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO!?
There has to be some way to hack...there has to be...
I barely even sense time itself as I start hacking as fast as lightning, trying to figure out some way, SOME WAY, to get into the character files. There has to be a way to get in, right!? But over and over, It just says the same thing, repeats the same error noise, fills me with more and more dread...
Monika, your access to this program has been denied.
Monika, your access to this program has been denied.
Monika, your access to this program has been denied.
Monika, your access to this program has been denied.
Monika, your access to this program has been-
"Monika? Are you alright?"
"Yeah! Why are you being so intense on the PC!"
Shit.
I look to the other girls, Natsuki and Yuri both looking at me with bewilderment and genuine concern. It's not easy to see Natsuki like that most days, so I'm taken aback by it. I expect it from Yuri, but from Natsuki? Not a chance.
"It's...it's nothing girls. Don't worry about it. I'm alright."
"What are you even doing on there? Binary code? Didn't know you hacked."
"Yeah. It's just something I'm trying out. We're forced to learn it in tech anyway..."
"Yeah, right! Anyway...where are Sayori and Hensoku?"
"Sayori is oversleeping, so Hensoku is going to get her."
"Alright then. I'll make some tea for when they arrive."
Just when Yuri starts to get out her tea set, Natsuki's phone rings. She puts it on speaker like she always does, and we're left with a very frightened and crying Hensoku.
"Hensoku? Are you okay?"
"NO!"
"H-Hensoku! The hell is going on!?"
"Are you alright? What happened? I thought you were going to get Sayori!"
"I...I WAS!"
"What do you mean Hensoku? What made you stop?"
"SHE'S FUCKING HANGING FROM HER FAN YURI! SHE...SHE...!"
I can't handle everyone's faces. I can't handle Hensoku's crying...I can't handle the fact that this is MY fault, I can't handle this because of how much I care about them...I sprint out of the club door, not being able to stand it anymore.
I'm surprised when Yuri is the one that goes after me.
"Why aren't you comforting him!? He likes you most in the club!"
"He's fine with me looking after you. Look, we still need to do the festival. Just...Jesus Christ please! After that we'll...we'll..."
"Even the always intelligent Yuri is shocked...how am I surprised?"
"How could you not be? Look, you know we care about you Monika. Just please...I'm literally going to have to take up Vice President now, so...I'm going to take care of you."
Vice presidents of this Literature Club...don't usually have the best of luck.
"Al...alright...how...how do we face him?"
"I'm still going to make tea to comfort everyone, so..."
"That's fine...everyone needs some tea right now."
A little while after me and Yuri get back to the classroom, Hensoku arrives. Yuri pulls him into the closet to talk, and for the first time, I don't have the will to stop them. Me and Natuski just stare at each other, each of our eyes saying the same thing. That we earnestly don't know what to do.
For the first time since I became club president...I honestly don't know what to do.
The festival comes and goes, all of us just trying to walk through it and sound cheerful. We get some people interested in joining the club, but at this point, we barely even care about that anymore. Eventually, a guidance counselor in the school finds us. We try to explain our situation to her, but...
"And what seems to be the problem?"
None of us have the strength to answer. After a while of silence, she throws us back out into the hallway. Natsuki starts mumbling under her breath about it being rude to throw us out over being traumatized, and for some stupid reason, I laugh at that.
Well, it guess it's fine to take that one. Last one I'll probably have for a while.
We begin to go home, and before me and Yuri leave the school building, I whisper to her.
"Bring as much tea as you can possibly get tomorrow. We'll need it."
"I understand. I was already planning to. We ran out this time anyways."
That's true. I already miss your tea Yuri.
For the first time, the game actually allows me to go home before switching to the next day. I should have probably fixed that earlier when I could have, but, oh well. At this point, that's the last thing on my mind.
I just lie in bed, whispering to myself over and over that I'm the reason she's dead, I killed her I killed her I killed her I killed her I-
"I KILLED HER I KILLED HER I KILLED HER I KILLED HER JUST MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP GET OUT OF MY HEAD STOP!"
The switch between days feels like an eternity as I lie on my bed, screaming bloody murder and telling myself over and over again that this is MY fault, that I'm a selfish brat, that I should die...
That when I had the chance, I should have just deleted myself.
Every. Single. Day. Every single day is hell after that. Natsuki keeps coming to school more and more bruised, to the point where she sometimes just gets thrown back home due to her injuries. Hensoku becomes more and more distant, to the point where he barely even responds to Yuri anymore. Our club meetings consist of us lying our heads on our desks in silence, as Yuri tries to coax Hensoku out of the crying ball he is in once again, and failing miserably. I stay far, far away from Yuri, no matter how much she tries to make me feel better. This is all my fault, so why should I deserve happiness?
"Monika, talk to me."
"Monika, answer me."
"Monika, please-"
"...just...kill me..."
My words seem to shock Yuri in a way I can barely understand at all.
"M-Monika! No! Don't even talk about that!"
"But its my fault Yuri! Everything is my fault!"
We go back into our joined silence once again after that.
Oh dear god, it only ever gets worse, doesn't it?
Crying. Screaming. Yuri shying away, back into her shell, huddled into a corner unable to stop crying. Natsuki, bruised to hell, not knowing what to do anymore as she puts her hands on her hips and tries to act strong. And me, Monika. Monika, sitting here at the grave of the only person I've ever loved.
Hensoku...why?
Why...why did you kill yourself? I mean, I know why, because of Sayori...but why? Why leave me? Why? No, even Yuri's route was better than this! Let me go back! Please!
I receive only the sound of the wind as a response.
"Hey, Monika? You okay?"
"I should be asking you that Natsuki."
"Look...I talked to Yuri. Were getting lunch after this, okay? Yuri's paying."
"...Okay. It'll be better than this."
We head off to the restaurant, and I chat with everyone, joking, laughing, playing games, being nice and friendly to everyone. Especially Natsuki. Because she needs some positive attention, with her father and all.
Because for all I know, next week, Natsuki could join him.
And guess what?
Next week, she does.
Her father is in jail now, on charges of child abuse and murder. But they got there too late. The neighbors heard too late. She's gone.
And unlike I could have had I still had the code to do it, I cant bring her back.
Yuri is completely silent now. She doesn't even look at me at our meetings. Sometimes, I wonder if we should have them at all. But I want to do it. To preserve their memory. I don't care if it hurts, I just...I just want to at least do that right. Why? To repent? I don't exactly know, I just do it.
Yuri's arms have been behind her back more often, and I most certainly know why. She's been cutting recently. I expected it to happen. It's just what some people do to deal with emotional pain. By distracting themselves with physical pain instead. Can't say I approve of it, but I know why it happens. Maybe I'll try it one day, just to see why. Wouldn't be so bad. Maybe I can take my mind off Hensoku and Sayori.
The next day, I have an idea.
After all, you don't need the code to end an existence.
That day, I try to make everyone smile happily at school. I joke with them, make them laugh, cheer up the kids that are feeling down. And most of all, I talk to Yuri. About books, about how her day is going, about everything I can think of. I even get her to read a manga. Death Note, I think it was called. She loved it and asked me for more volumes. I told her to go to the library and see if they had them. It would be disrespectful to raid Natsuki's manga collection. Besides, it don't think it would be her type of manga. After school, we decided to start a meeting. Our last meeting.
"Hey, Yuri?"
"Yeah Monika, what is it?"
"I need to tell you something. I'm the reason everyone is dead. This world is just a game, and I messed with the code to make Sayori depressed and to give Natsuki an abusive father. I'm the reason Hensoku killed himself. I'm so, so sorry Yuri..."
"G-GAME? WHAT THE-SO HENSOKU, NATSUKI, YOU, ME, ARE WE NOT REAL?"
"Technically, Hensoku is-or was, real. He's the player. And besides, you'll always be real to me Yuri."
"That-that still doesn't help the fact that my existence is a lie! Why the hell would you tell me this anyways?"
"So I could at least confess to someone before...Yuri, I want a knife. Give it to me, please. It might make you feel like Hensoku was avenged-"
"No! No way! Monika, I don't want you to die, your the last friend I have!"
"Then go with me if you want, I won't stop you if you decide to do that. I have a feeling that you being alone wouldn't be good for you."
"Alright...here"
She tosses me one of her favorite knives, a sliver sharp blade with a cat's face etched into it. I've always thought she liked it because the cat looked like the one she had before it died of illness when she was a kid. I'm not going to ask, she's emotional enough. I grab the blade and begin to cut, and cut, and cut, and cut.
"Stabbing would be faster, don't you think?"
"I just wanted to experience what you do was like."
"Oh. Are...are you ready?"
"I...I think so. I love you Yuri."
"I love you too, Monika."
The knives plunge into our chests, and everything goes black.