A/N: This piece is done for the CxA Forums new writing challenge. The prompt was: Cissnei – Truth be told, she didn't actually know her real name; only knew that it wasn't something Shinra gave to her. I hope you all will enjoy this piece!
Disclaimer: Owns nothing
A Rose By Any Other Name
"Cissnei!"
Hearing him call out to her, she paused in her steps, a small, secretive smile twitching her lips.
"That's not my real name," she told him softly, like a little child taunting another with some tidbit of information. She might as well have said 'I know something you don't know!'
"Eh?" Zack's tone was as puzzled and intrigued as a young child's, his eyes equally confused, but the female Turk had only cheerfully reminded him of his task before running off to complete her own.
In the pain filled days to come, it was a conversation she thought about many times.
Maybe it was the complete childishness of the moment, or that it reminded her of how even though she acted the adult and he the child, Zack had a far better grip on whom he was as a person than she did. He had known where he had come from and where he was going, both feet firmly on the ground, eyes set toward the future with a gleam of boyish enthusiasm and excitement. In contrast, she might give off an air of confidence, but really she lived in the present with no idea of the past, and no plans for the future, a traveler lost in the darkness only trying to survive from way to the next.
Truth be told, she didn't actually know her real name; only that it wasn't something Shinra gave to her. Her life before Shinra was a vague blur, more feelings mixed with tattered mental images than true memories. Not even the name she had been called then remained with her. If she had really wanted to, it would have been a simple matter for her to trace her past and to find out what it had been. Her job gave her access to all sorts of information and within a week or so she could know her real name that eluded her.
But something kept her still, kept her from seeking out what name she had been given. Cissnei didn't understand why at first. It was only a word, a word once associated with her past. But the past had power to change a person's future- Sephiroth had been living proof of that. There were no guarantees that she would not go the same way if she found out the truth about who she had been and where she had come from. Her life was uncertain as it was, Zack's death taking away any stability she had once had, leaving her groundless with broken wings unable to halt her fall. One tiny push might lead her to a downward plunge from which there could be no return.
In one of her days shadowing Aerith, the young flower seller had noticed the Turk's presence and approached her, wide green eyes gentle with concern, clearly able to see the haunted look in the other female's brown orbs. Despite everything, Cissnei had found herself spilling her fears in that run down little church, being careful to not divulge certain classified, top secret events. As she had spoke, Aerith had worked quietly among her flowers, listening until Cissnei had talked herself hoarse, tears pricking her eyes.
For a moment there was silence, then the young woman sat back on her heels, holding up a flower from her basket. She twirled it idly between her fingers, considering before holding it out to Cissnei, a slight smile on her lips.
She took it, startled, admiring the smooth pale yellow petals just barely opened, the thick green stem with sharp thorns she was careful to avoid. "I'm afraid I don't know much about flowers," the Turk admitted. "What is it called?"
Aerith had gone back to work, her mahogany braid hanging down over one shoulder, the end just brushing the lush plant life around her. "Would it change the flower if I told you a name that did not belong to it? If I were to tell you that it was called a thistle instead of its true name, a rose?"
Blinking, Cissnei considered this before frowning. "No," she decided at last, wondering if the flower girl was trying to trick her. "It would be the same, only bearing a different label."
The words had barely left her before Aerith's emerald eyes flashed at her with an approving glow. "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet," she said softly. "And Cissnei would still be Cissnei, whether she was called Jennifer, Allison, or Juliet."
She placed a friendly, caring hand on the other woman's shoulder. "Whether you decide to learn about your past or not, it doesn't change what you have decided to become, nor does it have the power to destroy your future. Remember that, ok?"
Cissnei had nodded mutely in response, clutching the rose tighter in her hand until the thorns threatened to pierce her flesh and bring blood, even as the tears slipped down her cheeks. Gently Aerith hugged her, a warm and comforting presence, just as Zack had once been.
Later that night, curled in her small dorm bed, she lay awake, staring into the darkness. On her nightstand lay a thick file folder with her name printed on the tab, taken from Tseng's office earlier that day. In a small crystal vase beside it was the yellow rose, as a reminder.