My first Tomb Raider story~ :D
Hello, everyone! I haven't used this website in years, and to be totally honest, I dislike the way the formatting options are on here. But maybe its just me being a noob to FF. x) Anyway, this is the first 'story', per se, that I've posted in one time. Its just something I thought of. You'd have to be blind to see that Lara wasn't affected by the events that took place on Yamatai. I decided to see if I could capture her feelings in a story. I probably haven't, but it's my first try. Anyway, I'm rambling. Constructive criticism is encouraged, but flames will be IGNORED. ^^ Unless a few people, a minimum of 3, people like this, I probably won't continue. I'll say, its more of a oneshot. ^^; Anyway, enjoy~
I do NOT own Tomb Raider.
I wish I did though. ;.;
It had been four days since the few remaining friends had escaped the horrifying island of Yamatai. Everyone was still recovering from their wounds; physically, emotionally, even mentally. Yamatai had, in no doubt, taken its toll on the young peoples' minds. Even more so for the youngest of them all, Lara. It wasn't that she was more mentally or emotionally immature than the others, but she had seen and done things the others hadn't. How was it even human? The things that she saw went against everything that she'd ever learned and been taught. Could she ever believe anything of the normal human world again? Endless throughts raced through the brunette's head as she sat on her lower bunk bed, her fingers entangled in her clean, smooth locks. She tapped her foot nervously against the wooden floor of the ship, her body quivering ever so slightly. A non-realized tear slipped from the corner of her eye, making its way slowly down her cheek and leaving a damp trail of confusion and fear behind it.
She heard footsteps making their way down the hall towards her room. Her first instinct was to ready her bow, but she quickly reminded herself that she was safe now. Hell, maybe she wasn't. Maybe while she was lost in her little corner of confusion, the deckhands had rescued some people on a lifeboat, who then turned on them and killed everyone and were searching for remainders. Her not-so-new-new instincts fought with her unstable mind. But before she came to a conclusion on what to do, Sam slipped through the wide door, entering slowly and cautiously. Lara looked up with wide, slightly bloodshot eyes at the intruder. She recoiled a bit, but relaxed when she saw that it was only her best friend. She saw Sam look away a bit, no doubt feeling guilty for startling her. Lara didn't know if she should wait for the silence to be broken, or if she should break it herself. What if she said something wrong and made it awkward? What if..- No. She was not about to let herself war with her mind over a simple decision. "Hey." she said, resting her elbows on her knees. She saw Sam almost go wide-eyed. Probably because for the first time in four days, Lara was the one who finally spoke first instead of herself and the others.
"Hey... Uhm.. I came to tell you that dinner's ready." she stuttered, still a little taken aback at Lara's greeting. "Okay. I'll be there in a bit. Thanks, Sam." she replied softly, letting her head fall between her resting arms. Sam couldn't hold back the sigh that parted her lips. She couldn't tell if her friend was beginning to open up a bit, or slowly wandering farther away. Before her mind even processed what she was doing, she walked over and sat down next to her friend, leaning her arms against her own knees. She wanted to talk to her about what had her so shaken and sealed in quietness and seclusion. She wanted to actually hold a conversation with her closest friend, but it seemed it was becoming impossible as she struggled to find words, and the fact that Lara seemed to have lost more than half of her vocal chords. She was drifting; actually, more like swimming to the sea of madness. Sam tried more than once to throw a buoy to bring her back to shore, and she would always reach for it, but an undertow would always pull her farther away from the saneness her friend desperately tried to give her.
"Why don't you go on? I'll be there." Lara's words were muffled as her body heaved with a sigh. Sam thought for a moment, choosing which words she would say. After a few seconds, she decided on them. "I guess I just don't want to leave you alone." she replied, placing her palm against her forehead and leaning on her arm. Alone. That's all Lara had been for four days. She, too, wanted to be able to have a fluent, vivid, real conversation with her friends again, but its like she couldn't muster the strength to talk. She wanted to, but her mind would quickly tell her to lock up, and if she resisted, it would force the shackles onto her. She didn't know what to say. Should she say thanks? Or should she try to urge her friend onto dinner so she could mentally prepare herself for another attempt at socializing? She grit her teeth, thankful that her face was buried between her arms as tears began to slip from her eyes. She tried to conceal her feelings, steadying her breathing so her body wouldn't jerk as she took in breaths. She knew her friend would pick up on her uneasiness soon, but she didn't mind. She didn't care if her friends saw her in a weaker state. She always tried to be the brave one, the fearless one; so that her friends, too, could be fearless. But even the strongest of fighters will break, and maybe this was her breaking point.
Sam looked over as she heard her friend take a sharp breath. It hurt her to see Lara like this. The tears began to well at her own eyes. Lara was broken; it was easy to see. She didn't know what was right or what was wrong anymore. She seemed to become thinner than she was before. Maybe it was from the countless tears she'd shed, or maybe it was because she would occasionally skip meals and stay in her corner of seclusion. She was losing her mind; and to be honest, Sam felt like she was slowly starting to lose her own mind. She encountered multiple flashbacks throughout each day; of Himiko, the island, the islanders, Mathias, the creatures, the bodies... Sometimes she'd even break down on the spot from how overwhelming it all was. She knew that Lara had seen more than the others. She'd went solo most of the time, never wanting to partner up with anyone in fear that she'd let them get hurt. She didn't care if she herself died; as long as she knew the others were safe, she maybe could rest in peace. But she fought. She fought like hell to stay alive; to keep her friends alive. She killed countless things, ranging from animals to demons, from demons to people. Every day, multiple wounds would be acquired, which resulted in scars. Scars that would never stop reminding her of what she'd seen, what she'd been through, and what she'd done.
Sam wanted to be there for Lara, she wanted Lara to talk to her, to let her bottled up emotions out. She lifted her head from her palm, scooting closer to her distressed friend and letting her right arm find its way around her tense shoulders. She felt Lara's body tense even more, but hesitantly relax when she realized it was only her, not an enemy. "Lara..." Sam sighed, taking in a sharp breath as tears fell from her eyes. She leaned her forehead against Lara's shoulder, closing her eyes in an effort to stop the liquid streaming from her eyes. Lara's breathing increased, her body jerking up and down. 'Maybe she's finally letting it all out,' Sam thought hopefully. But the darkness quickly overtook her mind. '...Or maybe she's just re-living it.'
She kept inside her head, thinking about the possibilities as to why Lara was crying. Some thoughts only made her cry harder against her shoulder. Lara didn't know exactly why Sam was crying; on the other hand, she had almost been possessed by her ancestor twice. Maybe they were both going through the same thing and living in the same nightmare. Maybe if they pinched themselves and woke up, they would find that none of this had actually happened, and that it was just a bad dream. Maybe they'd eaten something before they went to bed? Maybe they were in a hypnotic day dream?
It was only wishful thinking. What they'd been through was real, and no matter how much they wanted it to be fake, it never would be. Lara tried to think of something to say, but for the moment, it seemed best just to let the contained feelings they both had spill into the quiet loneliness of the room. And so they sat there for a few minutes, finally letting the emotions show through and release themselves from the shackles they'd been held by. Maybe this was good. Maybe after this, it would be easier to be normal again. Only time would tell.
A holler broke them out of their tears. "Come on girls, the food's ready! If you don't get your asses in here, its gonna get cold!" they heard Reyes call for them. Sam sighed, resting her forehead against Lara's shoulder. "I guess we better get in there." Sam said softly, lifting her forehead from her friend's shoulder and placing her hand in the same spot. She felt Lara's body rise and fall in a slow, long sigh. She lifted her head slightly, her hair covering her face. "Yeah," she said as she wiped her eyes with her fingertips, "...lets go."
Sam smiled slightly, getting up to her feet and waiting for Lara to do the same. The brunette sighed, telling herself to get up mentally. She was feeling a little better; maybe because she finally let some of her concealed emotions out. She couldn't help but feel that it would only last a moment before it was snatched away by the demons in her head, though. But at the current minute, the current second in time, she was feeling a little better, and she preferred living in the moment. She rose to her feet, her knees shaking a bit beneath her light weight from the strength she'd lost from crying and skipping meals. She'd never felt so weak in her life. In fact, she never let herself feel weak because, not only did she hate it, but she didn't want to be seen as a weakling. And who's to say she was one? They'd be fooling themselves, because she was exactly the opposite. But even if you're the strongest person in the world, you will become weak at some point, and that's how Lara was feeling at the moment.
She glanced at Sam, who was watching her worriedly after seeing just how bad her seclusion had weakened her. The girl almost lost herself to a breakdown at realizing how damaged her friend was, but quickly shook her head and let out a deep breath. She looked at Lara to see that her brows were raised in slight confusion, her eyes dim and seeming to hold no life or color like they once did.
The two flinched slightly when Reyes's voice picked up again, sounding louder than before. "Damn, girls, come on! Your food's gonna be colder than the Arctic if you don't hurry your asses up!" she called for them, sounding slightly annoyed. Lara let out a slow sigh, entangling her fingers in her hair as she began to prepare herself to see her friends. In truth, she'd much rather skip dinner and sit in the deafening silence of her room. She knew it would do her no good, but she just didn't want to talk to anyone about anything.
"Let's get going. I don't want Reyes coming down here and yelling over cold food." Sam sighed, casting a glance at Lara before beginning to slowly walk forward. "Yeah..." the brunette said quietly, following behind her close friend as if she'd vanish at any moment. She kept her face downcast; a new habit of hers, as she repeated that everything was going to be fine in her head. Hopefully, at least. What's the worst thing that could happen, right? They were safe on their ship, sailing to America to settle down and heal for a few months before taking off again. But maybe they weren't safe. The young girl now knew that anything is possible. For all she knew, Reyes could have gone off the deep end and called them up to kill them. Or maybe she turned into a cannibal, and she was going to kill them for food. Or maybe- No. Lara closed her eyes, leaning against the wall to hold her shaking body up. She pressed her palm to her forehead, sweat dripping down her temples. Sam glanced back at her upon hearing her footsteps come to a halt, and spun impossibly quick on her heel and half-sprinted to Lara's side.
Before her friend could open her mouth, she spoke up first. "I'm fine. I'm just..." she trailed off, knowing she, in fact, wasn't fine, and that she wasn't 'just' anything. She was going mad. She was losing herself. She had no control over how she felt or what she did anymore. She wasn't herself. Or maybe she was never herself in the first place.
Her vision started to become blurry as too many thoughts began to overpower her head. Everything was turning red, as if covered in red paint... or blood. She leaned even more against the wall, beginning to lose her sense of balance. "Lara? What's happening..?" Sam asked, both concern and fear lacing her words as she gripped her friend's shoulder when she began to slowly tip.
The brunette couldn't muster any words. Her finger's became entangled with her brown locks as she gripped her head, shaking violently as she began to see what wasn't real, and as what wasn't real took over her mind. Her vision was fading in and out, and she felt like she was going to blackout soon. It would be a blessing from what ever god was out there if she did. Anything to end the hallucinations.
She sunk down to her knees, panting slightly and trying to keep her balance. Everything seemed fuzzy, and every sound became muffled. She heard Sam calling for Reyes and Jonah in panic.
The last thing she saw was all three of them kneeling before her, calling her name before her vision went completely black, and her mind shut down into a state of unconsciousness.