Heya, writing this story made me kinda sad haha but I hoep you guys enjoy reading it! Might go write a fic bout Sirius coming back..make me feel better! Enjoy guys!
THE COLD
When he left the first, Remus felt the cold. It was like having someone place their cold hands around his heart and every time he did something or heard something that reminded him of Sirius, the hands would squeeze his heart, making the cold worse. It was a constant reminder that he was now alone and that Sirius was in prison. Not that Remus would ever have forgotten Sirius was in prison, because it was, he believed at the time, Sirius' fault that the Potter's were dead. Over the years, Remus got used to the cold he felt. He knew it was there, always knew but he had learnt to live with it. Over the years, Remus had a few boyfriends, but it never lasted long with them. He could never replace Sirius and never get rid of the cold. Remus had gotten a job, in 1993, teaching at Hogwarts. At the end of that year, the truth came out and Remus finally thought the cold would be gone forever. He had held Sirius, if only for a split second, but the cold had melted away. But when the real traitor got away again, Sirius was forced to run and the cold set in again and if it was possible, it was colder. He had only brief contact, thru owls, with Sirius and no matter how much he tried to ignore the cold, he couldn't. Have you ever stuck a wet hand into the freezer? Or touched ice with a wet finger? The pain you feel, that little sting, is what Remus felt, all the time but it was ten times worse.
When Remus received a letter from Dumbledore, saying that Sirius was on his way to hide out, after he had notified everyone in the Order of Voldemort's return, Remus thought maybe, just maybe, the cold would go. When Sirius arrived, he was dirty and tired, so instead of trying to make the cold go away, he gave Sirius some clean clothes and nice fluffy towel so he could have a shower, then showed him to the spare bedroom, where he could sleep for as long as he wanted.
The next morning, Remus was at the kitchen table, reading the Daily Prophet when Sirius walked into the kitchen and just leant against the door frame. Remus looked up and his breath hitched, when he saw Sirius, in just the pajama pants he'd given him to sleep in. He was a lot thinner than Remus had remembered, but the 12 year stint in Azkaban would do that to you. But he still had his shapely muscles in his stomach and his arms. Remus smiled a weak hello and then went back to looking at the paper, not bothering to even try and read it. Sirius sauntered over and down next to him, putting one arm around behind Remus' back, resting on the back of his chair, while resting his chin on Remus' shoulder and asked him if there was anything interesting in the paper.
Remus shook his head and felt the warmth start to melt the cold away, but he told himself not to get to comfortable because Remus was so used to the cold; it probably would ever leave him again. Remus turned and looked into Sirius' eyes, seeing the haunted look of Azkaban, he quickly turned away. Just as Sirius was about to speak, Dumbledore arrived and told them that the wards on Grimmauld Place were set, and that it'd be best to go there as quick as possible. When Sirius moved away, he took his warmth with him and Remus was hit, with the harsh coldness of loneliness.
That night at Grimmauld Place, Sirius gave Remus all the heat he had in his body. He wrapped his arms around Remus' waist, pulling him close and kissing him. The kiss was so deep and passionate, Remus was gasping for breath. His logical mind couldn't process the breathing and kissing function at the same time. They fell into Sirius' bed, a tangle of limbs. Their heated moans, echoed throughout the big house, lucky for them, no one else were home. When they both had reached the brink, they collapsed in each others arms and fell into a deep sleep.
When Remus awoke the next morning, Sirius wasn't in the bed next to him. But the cold didn't come back. All Remus felt was the warmth, the warmth of knowing Sirius didn't have to leave him again and that he'd finally have the love of his life, his mate, back. Each passing day, the warmth in Remus got hotter but he didn't mind. After all the years of cold, he welcomed in the scorching heat that was Sirius.
When they had gone to the Ministry, Remus didn't know it was the last time he would ever be seeing his love again. As soon as that veil took Sirius away, the cold hit Remus like a sledge hammer to the heart, making it hard for him to even speak and even harder to hold Harry back from trying to bring Sirius back thru.
That night, as he lay in bed, alone again, the warmth was gone forever and he had the long journey of getting used to the cold, yet again.