"Who's Yer Daddy?"

A/NThis is totally an AU. This little plot bunny hopped into my head one day (actually in a dream), and the next thing I knew, BA-BANG!!! I had a weird story. This is what happens when I am deprived of adequate sleep and sugar. Please be kind, for this is my first fic. I also blame my muse, so, if you don't like my story, please kill her and not me. Anywho, onto the story!

Disclaimer I do not own any of these characters, for they are the sole property of R.A. Salvatore. However, Alauna, Matron Everhate, Night, and Sanguine are mine.

Chapter 1:

Matron K'yorl Oblodra was walking gracefully down the corridor of her house thinking to herself on a beautiful Menzoberranyr, uh, day. She had made herself promise not to do any fooling around at the party Matron Baenre was holding so she would not have another illegitimate child. She cursed as she thought about not having any wine there, but she new her senses needed to remain sharp. Suddenly, she heard a soft noise up ahead of her. She moved to draw her whip.

"That won't be necessary, Mother," a silky, venomous voice said quietly, "it is only me."

"Sanguine, you should not be hiding in the shadows around me!" K'yorl said, trying to hide her surprise.

"What's wrong, Mother," Sanguine asked, "did I startle you, or did you think I was a pathetic male?"

"A little bit of both," K'yorl muttered.

"Getting paranoid about this aren't you?"

"I should have after I had you."

"Very funny."

"I'm serious. But please, forget that and walk with me. I'll let you come with me this time."

"Thank you, Mother."

The walked off down the rest of the corridor to the main entrance. Once there, K'yorl climbed onto her blue, riding disk. Sanguine, meanwhile stood beside her mother in the procession. Various foot soldiers stood in front of and behind their Matron. Once they were all ready, K'yorl gave the signal to march on.

A minute later, as they were moving along, K'yorl looked down into the Clawrift for at least the millionth time in her long life. As she gazed into the deep pit, she wondered if it would be the death of her house one day. She suddenly shook her head at the notion, mentally berating herself for thinking such foolish thoughts. After all, it would take a powerful force to push her and her house into the dark clutches of the Clawrift. Still, she had an uncomfortable feeling every time she went near the pit.

The procession arrived at House Baenre half an hour later. Already, there were slight sounds of celebration. K'yorl wasn't to be bothered by the amount of Matron Mothers there, though, for this party was for those on the ruling council only. Sanguine couldn't help but shiver in excitement. This was her first time here, and it would be fun. At least, she could fool around with some of the males that were forced to come, unlike her mother.

"Welcome, K'yorl," Matron Baenre said as K'yorl and Sanguine strode inside her house.

"Thank you, Matron Baenre," K'yorl responded curtly, "Please meet my daughter, Sanguine."

"Welcome, Sanguine," Matron Baenre said brusquely.

"Thank you," Sanguine replied quietly, a slight poison to her tone, but Matron Baenre was oblivious.

Matron Baenre simply nodded and allowed the two Oblodrans passage. She scowled behind K'yorl's back as she and her daughter wove their way over to a group of matron mothers. Yvonnel Baenre hated the Oblodrans. They were unnatural, for they had mind powers like the Illithids, and in Menzoberranzan, different was deadly, for both sides.

For the next hour or so, K'yorl and Sanguine chatted lightly with Matron Shadow Everhate, and her daughter, Night. K'yorl and Shadow were friends as much as drow could get., which is surprising since Shadow is matron of the fourth house, while K'yorl the fifth. K'yorl should have killed Shadow to get her house higher up, but she didn't. That's another reason why Matron Baenre hates her.

Suddenly, K'yorl started feeling sick. At first, she thought that it was poison, but she had nothing to eat or drink. She couldn't hold herself any longer, she muttered a quick excuse before running to the chamber pot down the hall and tossing her cookies. Her daughter rushed in, followed by Shadow, Night, and Yvonnel, to see what was the matter.

"Mother, what is it," Sanguine asked, secretly hoping her mother was about to kick off, "Is it poison?"

"No, Sanguine," K'yorl replied weakly.

"Then what is it?" Shadow asked, "It isn't contagious is it?"

"Well I certainly hope not," Yvonnel exclaimed.

"I don't know," K'yorl mumbled, "I don't know at all."

"I guess we should head home then," Sanguine said.

"Yes. Would you please open a dimensional door, Sanguine," K'yorl murmured.

"Of course."

Sanguine soon had the door open, and she stepped through it with her mother. Both were troubled at K'yorl's ailment, for this was bizarre. They both hoped it wasn't contagious, for a plague would be disastrous for the city. They both arrived in K'yorl's bedroom a minute later, and Sanguine left to tell her sister what happened. K'yorl just sighed and drifted off into Reverie.

As the months rolled on, it soon became obvious K'yorl was pregnant. She hid it by wearing loose-fitting robes, and rarely going out anywhere. The troubling thing was, nobody knew how she became heavy with child. One night, though, it was to be revealed.

K'yorl grunted as she plopped down on her bed. She was exhausted, and she knew her baby would be born soon. She sighed, knowing that the child will be a male. She knew everything except who in the Nine Hells the baby's father is. Why do these things keep happening to me, she thought, and why am I the butt of this joke!? I want ANSWERS!!!

Suddenly, an Abyssal mist swirled at K'yorl's bedside. Her eyes went wide in horror as Lady Lloth herself appeared in the room. Most priestesses would start lionizing the Spider Queen and all her glory, but K'yorl did not follow the goddess, so, instead of bowing before Lloth, she glared.

"What the hell do you want," K'yorl growled.

"To give you answers," Lloth sneered.

"About what?

"The little one inside you."

K'yorl slid forward a little bit and tilted her head to show her curiosity. She silently bade Lady Lloth to continue. So, Lloth told her about how she had stolen the seed of a drow male and implanted it in her. She then went straight to reprimanding K'yorl about not believing in her, but K'yorl raised a hand, silencing her.

"Just tell me who the hell the father is," K'yorl snarled.

"I wont until the baby is born," Lloth smirked. And with that, she disappeared in that ghostly mist.

"VITH DOS!!!" K'yorl cried in frustration. Patience was not one of her strong points when it comes to knowing something that vital. She settled back down on her bed, simmering. Suddenly, she had a contraction, and a very painful one at that.

"ALAUNA!!! SANGUINE!!!" she bellowed.

"What is it," Alauna, a drowling of ten, rushed in and asked, "Is everything alright?"

"I'm having my baby dammit!"

"Calm down, mother, everything will be fine," Sanguine reassured.

"That's not my problem, chicken shit, CATCH!!!"

"Wha…" Sanguine started.

K'yorl just looked at her daughter calmly and said, "The child is about through."

"Oh," Alauna and Sanguine said.

"Ooh boy," K'yorl groaned. After five minutes or so, the little drow male was handed to his mother.

"What is his name?" Sanguine asked.

"Kimmuriel," K'yorl said.

"But that's not a drowish name," Alauna pointed out.

"I don't give a damn, it sounds good," K'yorl spat, "and for that, you shall be his wean mother!"

"But I'm too young," Alauna protested.

"Don't argue," K'yorl said dangerously.

Suddenly, Lloth appeared again in front of everyone. Alauna and Sanguine gasped in surprise, but K'yorl was stoic as ever. Lloth smirked at everyone in the room.

"So, K'yorl," Lloth purred, "do you want to know who little Kimmuriel's father is?"

"No, I hoping you came to give me a present," K'yorl said sarcastically.

"I wouldn't do that if you knew what's good for you," Lloth snarled.

"Whatever, just tell me already," K'yorl snapped.

"He is a drow you despise," Lloth sneered.

"I figured," K'yorl snorted.

"He is powerful," Lloth said.

"He's going to die," K'yorl yawned.

"And he's a Baenre," Lloth finished.

"Don't tell me," K'yorl groaned, "It's Gromph."

"Nope," Lloth cackled.

"THEN WHO IN THE NINE HELLS IS IT!!!" K'yorl exploded.

"Jarlaxle."

A/N: If you liked this fic, then I'll be happy to write more of my thought's on what Kimmuriel's childhood was like. And if you hated it, like I said before, kill my muse, not me.