X-men: Friends of Humanity
No copyright infringement intended, and thank you to all my beta testers (who know who you are). This fic is based largely on the characters as they appear in X-men: The Animated Series.
Chapter 1
It was Hank who encouraged me to come back to the team. He tracked me down and appeared on my doorstep (or, more accurately, my apartment lobby) one afternoon. I hugged him as soon as I saw him, my old pal, and we were seated in my apartment when he began attempting to convince me.
"I've missed you, Bobby. We all have," Hank stated. "It's time for you to come back."
I gazed at my old friend's huge, blue form. His appearance had changed little since the years I'd last seen him. And as always, Hank was right and I knew it. I had taken a break from the X-men for the last seven years. I left the team when I was a suicidal closeted young man who continually put the team's missions in jeopardy.
I smiled and looked down at my beer. "You were the one who encouraged me to go into therapy," I said.
"Sometimes when we are unable to deal with our problems on our own, it is best to take a break and enlist professional help," Hank said in his calm voice. "It has been a few years since we last spoke, old friend, but you had said at that time you were glad you were working with Dr. Winters."
"Oh, I am. I guess I never really thanked you for it." I was too ashamed to say more. I've always been terrible at correspondence. Since I now live on the opposite coast from the X-men, phone calls were expensive. I hardly ever pick up a pen to write a letter and I never check my emails. Hank (and, occasionally, Jean Grey or the Professor) would call, leave a message or write. I almost never replied.
Guilt finally made me speak up and say more. "I'm sorry I didn't make a better effort to keep in touch with you. You saved my life, Hank and I mean it. I was damn near suicidal at the time, and you saw that. Working with Dr. Winters really helped me. I've been out of therapy for almost two years now."
"I'm very glad to hear that, my friend."
Therapy did wonders for me, but I didn't elaborate on it to Hank. Living in a suburb of San Francisco helped me find others like myself, though none of them were also mutants. I got over the self-loathing that made my performance as an X-man so weak. And for the past few years, I had secretly wanted to return to the team, though I was too embarrassed with the way I neglected to keep in contact with my old teammates to try to contact them.
Outside we heard the blaring of a loud boom box and the noise of high trucks lumbering down the busy road. Hank looked around my cramped, shoebox apartment. I think we might've wanted to say, "Nice place," but it clearly would've been a lie.
"So, how are things?" Hank asked instead. "Are you still with Michael?"
I was pretty touched that he asked, since so many people would just avoid the subject. I smiled. "Wow, it * has* been a while since we last spoke. He and I broke up years ago! It's ok. It was time to end that relationship." I said, faking a smile. What else could I say? No one wants to date a mutant. Even here on the West coast, I can't find someone to spend my life with.
"What about you?" I asked. I guess that was dumb of me. Though Hank rarely expressed any sadness or anger over it, it was obvious that his mutation pretty much precluded him from having a relationship. He towered over me and barely seemed to fit on the beaten up old sofa.
Hank smiled. "My work with the X-men will have to take the place of any relationship for me. I am content to be among friends and working for good."
"So, how's the rest of the team?" I asked. I really was curious.
"Same as it ever was. Professor X still leads us. He often asks about you, and I know he's written you a few times. Storm and Cyclops are sharing leadership of the team on missions. Both are wonderful leaders. Jean and Cyclops were married a few years ago. Wolverine is basically his old self. A young woman named Jubilee has joined the team and she's doing well. Did you meet Gambit?" I shook my head. "He's a Cajun man who's on the team. He's got the power to charge objects and hurl them at enemies. And Rogue-did you meet Rogue?"
"Isn't she a bad guy?"
"She was, but we've taken her in and reformed her. She's very powerful and I'm glad she's on our side."
"So," I said, a smile spreading. "Give me the scoop on everyone. Who's in love and out of love? Any gay mutants?" I used to love to provoke Hank like this, since he hates gossiping about anyone. We both admitted it was one of my shortcomings and traits like these always made Hank and I such a good contrast to each other.
"There are not any gay mutants that I know of on the team," Hank answered. I was half expecting him not to answer my gossipy question at all. Hank paused. "But the reason for my visit was not to talk about our personal lives."
Hank drew a deep breath and continued. "The Friends of Humanity are out of control. Mutants are being hunted like prey. Hatred against mutants is getting worse every day. As you know, Kelly is no longer President, and President Fitzpatrick is heavily funded and supported by FOH and other anti-mutant groups. FOH has some new power source that we can't identify." He paused again. "Our school was firebombed. No one was seriously injured, but emotionally we're shaken."
My mouth fell open and eyes widened. "I'm shocked. I had no idea prejudice against mutants was so bad." What could I say? I don't watch the news and hardly read a paper. I've been spending too many days laying on the beach, reading trashy gay novels, and waiting for a Mr Right who doesn't mind that I'm a mutant to come along. I spent my days trying to forget that my family in Michigan doesn't want anything to do with me, and that they don't even know that I'm a mutant. My computer programmer job affords me little human contact other than with my cranky boss. In the past ten years, humans had mastered space travel, sending manned starships into space, but I'd hardly noticed or cared.
Hank went on to elaborate on the gravity of the situation. The federal Mutant Registration Act had passed (yes, I registered) and 38 states passed even stricter laws. Hate crimes against mutants were soaring but police acted as if the problem didn't exist. At least three mutants were brutally murdered in the last 2 months. The media was controlled by FOH supporters, with mutants regularly being portrayed on TV and in movies as depraved, sinister and out of control. Newspapers carried stories about mutants only when we were portrayed in a negative light. FOH had complete control of the Republican party and it was estimated FOH membership had increased by more than 12 times in the past 4 years. In the meantime, unemployment and inflation were skyrocketing, and several areas were experiencing severe environmental devastation-and mutants were being blamed for everything.
"It is extremely serious, Bobby," Hank said. "And it is not just in the US-mutants are being hated and discriminated against in every country in the world. I have not read about such hatred and scapegoating of a group of people since Germany when Hitler rose to power. We are in serious trouble." He looked straight at me. "We all need to band together. Every last mutant on the planet. There are so few of us and so many of our fellow human beings want to `exterminate' us."
His words were sobering. I sat still for a long time. "Wow." I finally said. "I had no idea."
"Professor Xavier would like you to rejoin the team. We all would."
I held his serious eyes, and then looked away. "Yeah, right," I laughed bitterly. "So I can be a freak among freaks. I'm sure all those macho men on the team are going to feel great working with a *gay* man."
"I tell you honestly that it would not be an issue. Bobby, we are *all* freaks and I think because of that, X-men are all very tolerant of differences in other people. In all my years on the team, I have never once heard anyone say something negative about you because of your sexual orientation."
I looked intently at Hank. He was probably the most honest and trustworthy person I had ever met. But doubts and lingering self-hatred crept in. "I dunno, Hank. Some of the guys on the team are so…..tough. You know what I mean. Like, someone like *Wolverine*. You think he is going to be tolerant of me? He can get berserk sometimes-what if he takes it out on me someday?"
"Wolverine definitely has his wild side, there is no question of that. But he controls it well enough and his heart, in its essence, is good. Besides, before he came to our team he was a member of Alpha Flight, remember? Northstar has always been openly gay. I never once heard Wolverine say a negative word about Northstar because of his sexuality."
I raised an eyebrow at that, as another negative thought entered my mind. "What about my past history with the X-men? I messed up more than once on missions. I never was the best at combat or at controlling my powers. And I hardly ever use them now, so I am really out of shape."
"We have a training center at headquarters. You can get back into shape, slowly and gradually at your own pace." Hank leaned towards me. "I know you have trouble believing in yourself. You've had your share of hard knocks in life. I'm here to ask you to believe in yourself and trust that you can be a team member again. Come back with me, Bobby. Why not use this chance to make a difference in the world? What else do you have to lose?"
It was his last sentence that got me. I *had* nothing else and I had no one else. I had just turned 30 and was going no where in life, doing nothing. Hank was one of the few people in my life who accepted me the way I was. Although I resisted and protested for a few more hours, I returned to New York with Hank.
"Next time we throw a beach party, I'd be glad to hold the keg of beer again," I joked during the trip, and we smiled at the good memories that came back. My emotions were a mix of fear and excitement.
Back at the X-mansion, the mood was grave. It was tense during a time when every day the situation felt worse. Although anti-mutant groups had attempted to burn it down a few weeks ago, the X-men had swiftly fixed the damage to the mansion. The damage to their spirits would be harder to repair.
Rogue and Gambit watched the Professor silently as he concentrated with Cerebro. Reaching the limits of his patience and endurance, the Professor set Cerebro down and rested his head in his hands.
Rogue watched, stunned. She had never seen him so dejected, not even last month when one of the Morlocks they had taken in had been beaten to death by FOH members.
"Professor?" Rogue asked, tentatively. She gently placed a hand on the man's shoulder. His age was catching up with him, the lines on his face had seemed to deepen in the last few months.
"Magento is dead. I'm sure of it now," Charles whispered, his voice almost breaking. He turned to Rogue and Gambit. "I wish to be alone, my X-men."
The couple nodded and left the room. Gambit placed his arm around his girlfriend's shoulders.
"I can't believe it," Rogue said as they made their way down the hall.
"Me neither, chere," Gambit said. Both felt fear rising in their hearts, seeing their leader so distraught. As every month passed, it seemed mutants were more and more under attack, and FOH grew stronger and stronger.
Cyclops, Jean, Storm, Colossus and Jubilee returned the next day. They shared their findings with the team. FOH had somehow raided Magneto's headquarters and destroyed everything. Professor X was certain now that not only Magneto but also Mystique, Sabertooth and three of Magneto's other cronies had been killed.
"I never thought I'd be sad to hear of their deaths," Wolverine said under his breath to Gambit. Gambit nodded. The specter of FOH being more powerful than Magneto and his group was terrifying.
Cyclops explained to the rest of team what they had seen. "The ties FOH has to the military must be even stronger than we thought," Cyclops said. "Magneto's headquarters was destroyed by powerful energy weapons, weapons more potent than anything we have."
"We also now have proof that FOH is using the Space Exploration Department's starships," Storm added.
"This is nuts!" Wolverine interjected, standing up. "Those fuckers are a hate group. The damn Fitzpatrick administration has given them free reign to use their starships?"
Storm nodded. "It would appear that way." She spread her hands. "We know that FOH has millions of members and contributes multiple millions of dollars to the Republican party every year. They are the party in power. Obviously they need to pay their debts off to FOH, and it would seem that FOH has free reign over the military and its space exploration wing."
Wolverine sat back down, glancing across the room at Jean Grey. She sat next to Cyclops, wringing her hands, stress and pain evident on her face. Cyclops periodically lay his hand comfortingly across her arm or rubbed her back. Wolverine eyed them longingly for a moment until Jean caught his glance..
"We need to be prepared." Cyclops said. "That firebombing incident here last month was nothing compared to what they did to Magento's headquarters."
After the sobering meeting, Rogue and Gambit walked out together, holding hands. "I can't believe Mystique is dead," Rogue said, looking down. "I know she wasn't a saint. Hell, she's probably giving Lucifer a scare right `bout now. But she did have her good qualities."
"She gave you a home, chere. She took you in," Gambit said softly.
"She was the only real mother I had. She loved me back when I couldn't even love myself. That's why I feel sad that she's dead, even though she did so many downright awful things in her life." Rogue shook her head. She didn't wish to dwell on this subject any longer. A smile broke out across her face as she got some ideas about things should * would* like to do be thinking about instead. "Hey, sugar," she said, lightly rubbing Gambit's shoulder, "you look like you could use a backrub."
Gambit's unique eyes widened. "Did you suddenly get Jean's powers? I was jus thinking dat dere's nothing I want more right now than a backrub, chere."
The couple made their way to Gambit's room. He stripped to the waist as Rogue reached into the nightstand's drawer for a special pair of satiny gloves the couple often used. They faced each other, longing more than anything to be able to kiss. Rogue placed a piece of the satiny cloth over Gambit's face and their lips touched briefly through the material. The couple had learned to be satisfied with this.
Rogue's gloved hands worked their way against Gambit's knotted muscles. Gambit moaned with obvious pleasure as his tense muscles slowly relaxed. "Dat feels so good," he whispered. Rogue gazed at her lover's back and shoulders, wishing she could take the gloves off, wishing she could take her tongue and lick his sinewy form. The area between her legs grew hotter and wetter.
"Why not let Gambit reciprocate now, chere?" the Cajun asked after some time had passed. Rogue turned to face her man. With a glint in her eyes, she slowly unbuttoned her shirt. The swell of her breasts could already be seen through her white button-down shirt. Seeing Gambit's desire written across his face, Rogue grinned as she took excruciatingly long to unbutton a single button. When she had finally finished her task, she allowed the shirt to fall to the floor. The rounds of her breasts peaked out above her bra. Gambit's erection grew as he wished he could reach in, cup her breasts, slowly lick the flesh….
Both knew they had to be cautious when Rogue disrobed. She stepped back and gave Gambit even more pleasure by unzipping her tight jeans. She turned away from him as she slowly worked the jeans down, giving Gambit a view of her backside. Her panties barely concealed her smooth, round bottom. Rogue turned again to face Gambit as she unbuckled and removed her bra. A moaning noise escaped from Gambit and he reached for the strips of satin they both kept near their beds. His hands protected by the silky material, he cupped and fondled her breasts. Rogue threw her head back and whispered, "Yes, oh yes…." as Gambit worked his fingers around her erect nipples, circling them and gently pinching them. She shuddered with excitement.
After some time, Rogue sat down on the footstool Gambit had been on, and Gambit knelt behind her to massage her back. The satin felt smooth and warm as Gambit worked his hands best he could while carefully keeping the material between them. Gambit fleetingly thought how difficult their lovemaking was-they both yearned to touch each other but neither could completely let down their guard at any point. Gambit's life depending on their using caution. But they loved each other deeply so their efforts were well worth it.
Rogue enjoyed the massage for many long moments, before turning around. Gambit's eyes again widened at the site of her beautiful breasts and the look of lust on her face. She gestured for her lover to remove the rest of his clothing. Gambit quickly stripped off his pants and briefs, exposing his erect manhood. Rogue's desire was in her eyes as she sensuously licked her upper lip. The craving they both felt hung in the air.
"Sugar, I gotta touch you," Rogue moaned.
Gambit gestured at the bed and the couple both lay down. They often enjoyed touching through a full length satin sheet. The couple lay side by side, the sheet in between them. Their hands worked all up and down the sheet, feeling outlines of chests, shoulders, bellies, legs. Gambit spent several moments stroking Rogue's legs through the silky material. They then experienced the joy of full body contact when Rogue lay on top of Gambit, his body covered from neck to foot with the sheet. Her body weight pressed into him. Gambit had to fight the urge to kiss her, as their faces were near. Rogue was forced to ensure her head didn't dip down too much towards her lover. She loved feeling her torso against his, the burning in her groin against his hardness, their legs entwined through the covering.
Rogue sensuously ground her hips against Gambit's form. He groaned with obvious pleasure as she worked her hips against his covered form. It felt so good. Rogue could feel she was getting closer to climaxing.
Slowly, like a cat, Rogue moved to face away from Gambit so she perched on all fours. She still wore her panties, but removed them under his watchful gaze. "You like this, don't you?" she asked, turning her head. Gambit frankly adored the site of her naked posterior and he moaned in reply to her question. She gave him time to absorb the view as she spread her legs just a bit.
The sheet was eventually removed and the lovers moved to the floor. They sat facing each other. As Gambit massaged his hardened cock, Rogue caressed her breasts. She then spread her legs wide and began massaging the throbbing clitoris and wet lips. Gambit took his hands from his manhood and forced himself to back a few steps away from her. Every instinct in his body was urging him to leap towards her, kiss her lips, and penetrate her. Fighting this instinct always challenged him, but at least it was a sweet sort of torture.
The lovers continued to admire each other and race towards a climax together. Rogue thrust fingers from one hand inside her as she continued to work her clit. She loved looking at Gambit and his turgid cock, wet with precum. She wanted more than anything to take it in her hands, take it in her mouth, let him fuck her till they were both senseless. "Sugar…..oh Sugar…." she moaned as her crisis approached. Wave after wave of pleasure overtook her as Gambit's lust broke shortly after. He spurted his creamy tribute to their love all over himself.
Occasionally Gambit would insert a few fingers - carefully gloved, of course, with heat-sensitive latex material from Hank's laboratory – and bring Rogue to ecstasy that way. And Rogue could put on such gloves and similarly please her lover. Sometimes they would do what they could to orally love each other by using other latex materials. Rogue would take a few tentative licks at Gambit's condom-clad rod. Or Rogue would lay spread on the edge of bed, hugging her legs to herself as Gambit knelt at the side, licking her through the latex barrier. But neither of them liked the latex taste, and they always held back since pleasuring each other this way brought Gambit perilously close to Rogue's bare skin. They longed to be able to do more, but any other body contact could prove deadly.
Later on that night, they lay spooned together. Both had to fully dress again and carefully ensure that a pillow separated the back of Rogue's face and neck from Gambit. Gambit scooted down on the bed so he could kiss her back, her arms, her hands. "Gambit loves you, mon amor….I love you, I love you," he murmured, placing a kiss for each declaration of love. Rogue sighed and returned the sentiments, feeling more in love than she ever had in her life. She never for a moment doubted his love-what other man would put up with this? For the time being, at least two mutants forgot about the hatred and oppression they faced on a daily basis.
"Iceman! I am so glad you're back!" Jean Grey enthused as she hugged me in the mansion's doorway. I returned the hug, enjoying it. I had always liked Jean.
"Welcome back, Bobby," Cyclops said. Cyclops gave me a man's man hug, stiff and to the point.
I looked at the happy couple. Didn't anyone age around here? They both looked great and I told them so. "So I hear you two tied the knot," I said, awkwardly trying to think of something to say. "Congratulations!"
"Thank you," Jean said. "You did get the wedding invitation, right?"
Gulp. Not only didn't I attend, but I doubt that I bothered to send a gift either. "I did….I'm sorry I couldn't be there." Trying to change the subject, "So, do you two have any little mutants yet?"
Cyclops chuckled. "Not yet." He and Jean looked at each other smiling, their adoration apparent. How did some people get to be so lucky? They both said in unison, "But someday we will."
I wondered what they were waiting for. If they were hoping the climate for mutants would improve someday soon, it didn't look likely.
"Well," Hank said, "Let's get your things to your new room and then I'll re-acquaint you with this place."
"I'll handle that," Jean offered. She used her powers to float my belongings up to my room.
Hank gave me the tour. When we passed the training room, he noted that I would be spending a lot of time there. Given how rusty I was with using my powers, I had no reason to doubt him.
I was introduced or re-introduced to the team. First Hank brought me to Jubilee, who I took to right away. She was outgoing and friendly. Despite everything that was happening, she seemed innocent and…cheerful, even. I guessed her age to be about 19 or 20.
I was surprised when Storm hugged me. She joined the team during the last two of my previous seven years on it. My last two years on the team were the worst….I was sullen and moody, barely speaking to anyone except Hank and making mistake right and left on missions. I may have been suicidal, but I was also at risk of getting my ass killed on missions because I was so incompetent. Storm's forceful personality had always intimidated me a bit, but I sensed no animus when she hugged me that afternoon.
Wolverine curtly shook my hand. That man really intimidates me, always had. At least this time I looked at him when Hank brought me around instead of looking at my shoes. I wondered if he was still in love with Jean Grey or if he'd moved on and found someone else.
Rogue and Gambit seemed friendly enough. She definitely was a firecracker but it was hard to believe she'd ever been a bad guy, fighting on Mystique's side. Mystique…I couldn't believe she and Magneto were dead. Maybe that's why everyone was so friendly. Those of us in the mansion knew we might be close to being the last of our kind.
Hank introduced me to a few other team members before taking me to see the Professor. We entered the old man's study and he wheeled towards us, shaking my hand. I don't remember what he said but I remember being flooded with affection for him. His sadness over his old friend and foe's death was apparent as was the knowledge that we were losing. But he had such a quiet dignity and a real love for his mutants. I do remember that he told me how much he had missed me, and I believed him. I told him that I had worked with a psychologist and was feeling much better. He seemed genuinely glad to hear that.
"We're glad to have you back, Bobby," the Professor said. "You'll be a great addition to our team."
I couldn't resist cracking a smile, "The team must be in pretty bad shape if I'm going to be a `great addition.'"
Hank offered to help me unpack and I relished the chance to talk in private. As soon as we were in my room, I turned to him and hugged him. "I am *so* glad to be back!" I said.
He returned the hug. "That is wonderful to hear." Hank is so cool. He's never been the least bit shy or awkward about hugging me.
"Hank, this is going to sound corny, but I feel like I'm coming home."
A excited Jubilee bounded into the recreation room. She found Storm, Jean, Wolverine and Gambit playing poker.
"Call your bet and raise it five," Wolverine said, placing his chips into the middle. Gambit eyed his cards, eager to once again demolish his fellow X-men at poker.
"Hi everyone!" Jubilee greeted the group. "I'm so excited! Have you all met Bobby? He's so cute!"
Gambit smirked and jokingly mocked Jubilee's tone, grasping his hands to his heart. "Oh, he's sooooo cuuuuute!"
Jubilee rolled her eyes at her teammate's playful teasing. "He is!" Jubilee clasped her hands together. "Such eyes! And lips! You guys, he was gorgeous! What do you know about him? Does he have a girlfriend?"
Storm and Jean exchanged a look. Jean tilted her head and used her eyes to indicate how Storm should answer. "Well, Jubilee, to the best of my knowledge, Bobby is gay," Storm said simply.
Jubilee's face fell. "Gay? Really?"
"Whoa! He is?" Gambit asked, lowering his cards to the table.
Jean spread her hands, shooting Gambit a look. "From what I understand, he was gay when he left the team seven years ago. So unless he's had a change of heart…..I wouldn't get my hopes up, Jubilee."
"Oh, bummer!" Jubilee pouted.
Jean turned to Gambit. "Are you going to be ok with that?" He easily picked up on her serious tone and detected that this was no time to continue joking.
"Long as he keeps his hands off Gambit, dis is okay with me," the Cajun answered.
"The Bobby I knew was very shy and retiring," Jean told him. "I don't think you have anything to be worried about."
"So what happened? Why did he leave the team?" Jubilee persisted.
Storm took a deep breath, "As I understand it, he left for personal reasons. If you want to learn anymore, you'll have to ask Iceman yourself. Gossiping is disrespectful to the team."
"You're right," Jubilee said. "I'm sorry." She sat down at the table, "Will you deal me in, Wolverine?"
The friends continued their card game, enjoying the break. The stress of the last several months had been getting to all of them, and the Professor was adamant that they take regular breaks from training. They felt only slightly guilty for enjoying the card game. And Gambit did indeed win most of the hands.
I got my ass kicked whenever I entered the dreaded training room. No matter which simulated X-men or foes I was pitted against, I lost. Even Jubilee managed to beat me.
"Do not get discouraged, old friend," Hank said soothingly during lunch one day. "It takes time."
"I know," I said. "Believe it or not, I'm doing ok and I'm not that discouraged. I do see an improvement," I ventured.
"There has been a definite improvement in the last two weeks. And I've noticed something very positive."
"What's that?" I asked.
"Even though you don't pose the biggest threat to potential enemies, you are fighting well as a team member. Your actions aren't endangering your fellow X-men."
"Yeah, but they're not endangering Sinister or Apocalypse either!" I said with a smile. "No, seriously I know what you say, and you're right. Seven years ago I was a threat to the team."
"That's definitely changed," Hank said.
"I just hope this will hold true on the real battlefield," I said. Even though I was able to say the word "battlefield" with ease, I can't say I was eager to do any real fighting - even if it was always only in defense.
Jubilee entered the dining room. "C'mon, Bobby. It's our turn to do the shopping, and we gotta get going. We want to make sure we're back in time for the meeting tonight."
"Gimme ten minutes, hon, and I'll be ready."
Jubilee and I had really hit it off. I was glad that she was assigned to be my shopping partner today. Chores and tasks to keep the mansion operating were divided up among the team, and duties that involved contact with the outside (non-mutant) world were given to those of us who could pass for regular people. The Morlocks we had taken in were doing their fair share around the mansion but they were too clearly identifiable as mutants to go out in public.
Cyclops specified that all tasks requiring contact with the outside world were to be done in groups of two or more, for our own safety. It made sense, since the hostility and hatred of the outside world were palpable. Even if we could pass as normal, you never knew when something might give you away.
I finished up lunch, and Jubilee and I were off. We had a big shopping list, and she was right: we couldn't dally if we wanted to get back in time for the weekly meeting. Storm had come up with the idea to institute a weekly team meeting to keep everyone updated and talk through any fears or problems. In addition to the Morlocks, the X-men had taken in about a dozen other mutants who were new to the team in the last 12 months or so. The desire, on all sides, to band together was extremely strong since we all realized we were as good as hunted animals. The downside to this was that jelling as a team was difficult, especially since mutants from all over the world came here. That's why Storm suggested the weekly team meetings, and they went over very well.
(Being new to the team, I got this information from Hank, Jean and Jubilee. The three of them were doing a great job of filing me in on things, including the events of the past seven years.)
Jubilee and I walked through the mall. One clerk who rang up our order wore a FOH T-shirt, and we passed several people sporting anti-mutant buttons. We waited in line at another store behind a group of three teenage boys who did the usual teasing and insulting of each other by using such choice words as "fag" and "homo."
When we left that store, I shook my head. Jubilee shot me a questioning look, which I answered with, "I was just….noticing a lot of similarities. Between the way people act about mutants and about gay people."
Jubilee looked intently at me, nodding. I answered her unasked question, "I'm gay, if you didn't know."
"Thank you for telling me. I think it's really cool that you confided in me," she said. I could tell that she already knew.
I shrugged. "It's not exactly a secret. I think most people on the team know. I'd almost rather get it out in the open, though maybe that's because I've been living in San Francisco for the past seven years."
"Is it difficult?" she asked, as he headed towards the car. "You know, being gay and a mutant?"
"Well, yes, but….but you probably experience something like it to. I mean, you're a minority too and a mutant."
We reached the car and settled in. "You're so right, Bobby. I was talking about this with Storm the other day. Not the gay thing but about being a minority. Sometimes I don't know how I feel more discriminated against. And being a woman on top of it, though in the X-men I feel that women can do anything! Storm is such a great role model."
"I think she is completely awesome," I enthusiastically agreed as I backed the car out and headed for the highway.
"But about what you were saying…is that why you left the team seven years ago? Because you were gay?" Jubilee asked.
I had no problem with confiding in Jubilee, so I told her the whole, long story. We were half way back to the mansion by the time I finished. "And Hank," I continued. "If it weren't for him….I wouldn't be alive today. He noticed how depressed I was. He was the one who kept asking me about it, not dropping the subject or going away when I yelled at him to do so like fifteen times. I was such a total putz. And I was so ashamed about being gay that I couldn't tell him what was bothering me, so I wrote him a letter. I remember that I ended the letter with a line to the effect of, `I hope you still want to be friends with me,' or something. Hank was so great. He came to me and told me that he was just a tad offended that I thought he'd be so bigoted to even consider ending our friendship."
"Beast is great," Jubilee concluded.
We got back to the mansion and made it just in time to put away all the groceries and other supplies we'd purchased before heading for the auditorium. The X-men used to meet and discuss things sitting at the round table, but it no longer was big enough so we used the large auditorium. As Jubilee and I hurried into the big room, she bumped into Wolverine. She apologized and he grunted in reply, actually looking more grumpy than usual.
Professor X, Cyclops and Storm sat at the front of the room, as the rest of us sat facing them. I counted and there must have been more than two dozen mutants in the room, now that the surviving Morlocks had joined us along with all the new "recruits." I sat down next to Jubilee, who was sitting next to Jean. Hank sat behind us.
As soon as Professor X began speaking the normal conversational chatter died down. "Hello, everyone. It's good to see you. I see that since we had our last meeting the previous week, we have one or two new members. Let's go around and introduce ourselves. Just say your name, where you're from and a bit about your powers."
We did this last week, and I always had to bite my lip to keep from laughing since I felt like I was in an AA meeting or something. ("Hello, my name is Iceman but friends call me Bobby. I can turn anything-including myself-into ice. So call me when you're having your next keg party.') When the introductions were finished, Cyclops spoke. "We do have some news for the team. We'll share that first, and then if anyone wants to discuss this -or anything else-we'll do that as well."
My stomach clenched. I could tell from Cyke's tone, and the looks on the faces of Storm and the Professor, that the news was not going to be good.
Storm was the one to deliver it. "As many of you have already heard, today we received word that Alpha Force was attacked by FOH. Using Cerebro, Professor X has been able to determine that the members of Alpha Force are still alive, but we have been unable to locate them. The evidence we have indicates that an attack occurred and the mutants have been kidnapped."
A buzz broke out in the room. How can FOH be so powerful that they overwhelmed Magneto's group and now Alpha Force? And why is Cerebro unable to find them? Why did the attackers kill Magneto's group but kidnap Alpha Force? The group discussed these questions for over an hour but there were no answers. I can say that nothing encouraging was found out, that's for sure.
Cyclops noted that a team would be assembled tomorrow to head for Canada and look for clues. "Until this mission is complete, anything more we say here is just speculation," he said. "I suggest we move on and see if anyone has anything more to discuss."
No one's hands were raised. Hank did speak up, "As we discussed at our last meeting, I have an update on international. I would be glad to defer, however, if others have more pressing things to talk about."
"Why don't you go ahead and speak, Beast? We can still do more questions and discussion afterwards," the Professor said.
Hank rose and stood at the front of the room with the team leaders. "For those of us who weren't at the last meeting, I have been researching the condition of mutants in countries other than the US. I finally have a report prepared to share with the group. I'll share highlights with you now, and if anyone wants more details, just say so."
I don't remember all the details that Hank spoke about. The bottom line is that we're in deep shit. FOH has chapters in almost every country, and the membership is proportionately as strong in each country as it is here. Reports from the Middle and Far East show that public, government-sponsored executions of mutants are becoming common. Now I would've thought that there might be countries where mutants aren't so hated. Well, Hank's report dashed any hopes of that!
When he was finished, a few hands were raised. Rogue was called on first. "I have a comment," she said. "I don't feel safe here. And by `here' I mean anywhere on this planet. I think it's high time we looked at hightailing it outta here."
A murmur of voices rose and questioning looks were exchanged. Rogue continued, "I'm talking about starships. If the government and FOH can build or acquire starships, then we can too. We need our own ship and we need to get the hell off this planet since everyone hates us here."
Jean raised her hand and was called on. "If we're not safe here, I don't think we're going to be any safer on a starship. If they wanted to, FOH -or the government or anyone- could find a way to hunt down our starship and destroy it."
Now Cyclops prefers an organized, well-run meeting. He likes to note who has their hand raised and write down their names in the order that he sees their raised hands so they can be called on in turn. At this point in the meeting, doing so no longer worked. People just spoke out of turn.
I remember Wolverine making a comment. "What Rogue said's got something to it. We've been trying for years to get humanity to accept us and we haven't made any progress. I hate to say it since we tried hard, but we gotta face it. People fear and hate us. We're getting blamed for everything from global warming to high unemployment."
Hank spoke, "I've said this before, but I will say it again. I have read much of history and the last time I read about such open, government-supported, and widespread hatred for a group of people was in Hitler's Germany."
Shadowcat piped up, "My relatives call me almost every week and urge me to go into hiding. Generations ago my family was affected by the Holocaust and they think mutants are going to be the next group forced into concentration camps."
Rogue chimed in, "And our situation is even more bad cause there are fewer of us than there were of Jews back then, and our enemies are extremely powerful. We don't know how they wiped out Magneto or Alpha Flight."
"You're right that we don't know," Cyclops said. "And I think before we go building or stealing starships, we need to send a team to Canada to find out what happened."
"What good is it going to do?" Wolverine asked. "So we find out FOH's source of power, maybe we even manage to defeat it. Doesn't change the fact that FOH has millions of members in this country alone and most people hate us."
Rogue added, "Did y'all see poll in Newsweek the other day? They asked what should be done with `The mutant question' and like 65% favor quarantine, another 10% admitted they favor `extermination.' Only like 5% said they favored working with mutants, learning more about us and integrating us into society. 10% of the public openly admits that they want us dead!"
Hank nodded grimly, "If that poll is indeed an accurate reflection of people's feelings-and from what I read, it was a scientifically conducted poll-those results are frightening."
"Beast, I agree with you," Jean said. "We know people hate us and they always have. But I still don't see how us getting in a starship is going to help anything. If anything, it makes us more vulnerable. The government's and FOH's ships can then follow us and blow us up if they'd like."
"Jean is right," Storm said, "Being inside a starship, we'd lose the advantages that all our powers have in a combat situation. Then it would come down to how good our ship was. If one mutant is fighting hand-to-hand combat with 3 or 4 or 10 non-mutants, the mutant will almost certainly win. But if two fairly equal starships are attempting to blow each other up, the odds are even. We know the government has at least 5 battleships, probably more. Who knows how many the FOH has."
"So then we work covertly, " Wolverine said. "We don't need to issue a press release stating that Mutants are Building a Starship! Much as I hate the sound of it, I say we sneak out once the ship is made. We've already got a great plane which is undetectable by radar. So we do the same, but for a starship."
"But once we take off in our starship, where do we go?" Cyclops asked. "Are we just going to roam around the galaxy and hope we find a mutant-friendly planet we can live on? Or do we just spend the remainder of our lives inside the ship? We had better pack a lot of food and water."
Professor X spoke at last. "And we're leaving out one very crucial point. What about all the mutants on earth? We know there are many others being born every day, and more mutants find us every month. If we leave this planet, what happens to all the mutants not in this room? Who will teach them to control their powers or keep them from committing suicide? We're the only organized group working for tolerance."
The room was silent for a minute. No one liked to disagree with the Professor, even though he always encouraged us to speak up. Finally, Rogue did. "Professor with all due respect….we don't know how many mutants already now are committing suicide or are getting beaten up and killed. I have no doubt that we make a difference to all the mutants we've helped-like everyone in this room. But we're not doing squat successfully in terms of changing the public's mind about us or stopping the hate. You said we're the only organized group working for tolerance, which is true but right now-we're just trying to survive. We're not making any ground on tolerance cause we can't."
The discussions continued for hours. I didn't participate much but I listened intently. Part of me longed to be laying on the beaches of San Francisco again, quietly passing as a non-mutant. But the part of me wishing for that was just a small part. Professor X always said we have to do in life what is right, not what is easy. I understood in my heart that he was right and I belonged here.
It was finally decided to send a group to Canada to track what happened to Alpha Force, and another team would remain here and begin researching what it would take to build a starship. We weren't going to actually start working on one, just research. Professor X, Hank and I were on that research team with about five others. Many protested that starting a team to do research was dragging our feet and not moving quickly enough on this-but enough of the Xmen and our three leaders supported this approach so that's what we did.
Cyclops, Jean, Wolverine, Colossus, Rogue, Gambit, Shadowcat, and three others were sent to Canada. When we said goodbye to this group the next day, I'd never before felt such trepidation over teammates' leaving for a mission. I hugged Jean an extra long time. Would this be the last I'd ever see her?
Scott and Jean returned to their room after the long meeting.
"I think it's really sad that it's gotten to the point that people are thinking of leaving this planet," Jean said, sitting on the bed, brushing out her long, auburn hair. She had changed from her work clothes into silk pajamas that Scott bought her one year for her birthday.
Scott stripped to his undershirt and boxers. He nodded his agreement. "Leaving this planet can't be the right answer. Besides, we shouldn't have to leave. It's as much our home as the rest of the world's."
"It's hard for me to even consider it. I'd never see my parents or sister again." Jean pulled a ponytail through her hair and lay back on the bed. "They're so worried about us. What Shadowcat said at the meeting struck a chord with me. Just the other week my Mom reminded me that she has an attic that you and I could hide in if we ever needed to."
"We're all worried," Scott admitted. He walked to the side of the bed and held Jean's hand. "We've got to think positively. We need to think of ways to turn the tide and defeat FOH."
"You know, I don't want to talk or think anymore about FOH today. It just makes me upset and fearful."
"I understand," Scott said.
Jean sat up and reached for Scott to hug her. He gratefully encircled her with his arms. "In fact, I can think of something I would like to do instead," she said, her tone questioning. She didn't want to pressure him since she knew he was tired. She decided to telepathically convey that feeling to him so he would understand.
Scott smiled and thought back /I'm not * that* tired./ He also had been expecting Jean to initiate some lovemaking in the last few days. They had been together for so long that he knew her desire ebbed and flowed in relation to where she was in her cycle, and for the past few days she was at a point in her cycle where desire ran high. His duty was to fulfil her, and it was a task he relished. Jean picked up on these thoughts and became more excited.
Wordlessly, they kissed. Jean delighted in the feel of his wet tongue against her lips and tongue, the prickliness of his stubble against her smooth cheeks as his hands caressed her back and shoulders. They shifted to a comfortable position where she lay back, his weight on top of her. He explored her mouth for several long moments, his tongue dancing against hers. Scott then pulled back to look at her beautiful face, delight written all over it. Her rapid breathing and flushed cheeks increased his ardor. "I love you, Jeannie," he murmured.
"I love you, Scott," she said. "With my heart, with my soul, with my mind, and with my body." Her senses felt his heart throb with love, his body tingle with desire.
Scott gently kissed her chin, her closed eyes, the sides of her face, working down to her neck. Jean adored having her sensitive neck kissed, and Scott did it so delicately. She loved it.
Jean used her powers to slowly float Scott a few feet above her. With his weight off her, she used telekinesis to unbutton her black, silk pajama top, and she adjusted her position to rid herself of the garment. Slowly, slowly Jean lowered Scott back on top of her. He straddled her, and removed his undershirt before returning to laying prone on top of his lover.
Working his way down, he arrived at her breasts, full and inviting. He paid proper homage to them, planting little kisses along the globes of flesh, gently kneading them with his hands. Scott's tongue slowly encircled a nipple as Jean lovingly stroked his hair, his neck. He was such a tender lover and he took his time to make sure her whole body tingled with delight, moving periodically to kiss her shoulders and then return to her neck and kiss it some more. He brought his lips back to her mouth and they kissed more, this time their mouths were more insistent. Scott then licked a trail back down to her full breasts.
As he softly began to suck on a nipple, his free hand crept down towards Jean's womanhood. She was wet and ready for him. Scott slowly inserted one finger, and was delighted at how easily it slid in, surrounded by her warm wetness. As he continued to suck her nipples, his fingers explored Jean's wetness. Fingers stroked the plump lips, the inviting passage and her throbbing clit. Scott moved his mouth from her breasts so he could concentrate better on the work his fingers were doing, rubbing and massaging her clit. Jean moaned softly. "That feels so good, Slim. So good," she whispered. He continued these delicious motions for many moments.
Scott was breathing heavily and well pleased with his efforts. He did feel some uncertainty as to whether Jean needed further stimulation or whether she was ready, though he was pretty sure that she was ready based on the time of her cycle she was in and how wet she was. /Trust your instincts, Slim. You're right/ she told his mind. She felt another thought of his welling up and she spoke to it as well. /I know, I know. You only want to make sure I'm pleasured. You're such a good lover, and I love you so much. Now get in here, I want to feel you inside me!/. Jean's mental link with her husband told her that he, also, was very ready and wanted nothing more at this point than to enter her.
Jean shed her pajama bottoms as Scott removed his boxer shorts. She spread her legs wide as Scott mounted her. With a low cry of pleasure, he slowly inserted his hardness into her waiting wetness. She took his head in her two hands and looked upon him with such love. Scott wished desperately once again that Jean could look into his eyes and see his adoration reflected there. /It's okay. I don't need to see your eyes to feel your love for me./
Her arms wrapped around him and their mouths met in a tender kiss. The kiss was seemingly endless, deepening and easing again and again as his strong hips drove her downwards into the feather mattress. Jean urged him on with her soft cries that were obvious in their delight. She felt ecstasy build up as he moved on her. Jean felt such fulfillment in making love with the man who was her soulmate, and she conveyed those feelings to him. Her mind picked up what she already knew-that he felt the same way. Scott thrust faster and faster as they neared rapture. Jean moaned her fulfillment and her husband soon followed her.
The couple fell into a deep sleep. Many of their fellow X-men also found solace in the pursuit of the erotic. It worked wonders at chasing away the fear and growing sense of dread.
The next week passed very slowly for me. I learned more about space ship construction and logistics than I had ever wanted to. (I was tempted to comment to Hank, "Somehow I thought being an X-man would be more exciting than this," but I held my tongue.) Actually, I hated to feel like such a useless team member, but I didn't feel I had much to contribute as our group compiled, analyzed and discussed information.
The team Cyclops led to Canada checked in with us every two hours, and the Professor frequently monitored them via Cerebro.
Those of us remaining at the mansion were nervous with so many of our team's heavy hitters gone. But in the end, we didn't have anything to fear-at least not from their trip to Canada. The group returned after about 8 days, not having anything substantial to report. The mission basically was a bust. The team did deduce, based on the evidence at hand, that Alpha Force had been abducted is a starship, almost certainly by FOH. Again, we had no idea why or how FOH was able to overpower Alpha Force.
At our next group meeting, nothing was resolved. The Professor presented what we had found in terms of building our own ship and surviving in one, but the X-men were heavily divided on this question. A majority of the team members favored packing it in and leaving Earth. But all three of our leaders (and a substantial number of the rest of the team) thought this was a terrible idea. Usually decisions were made when a large enough majority of the team agreed and leadership bought into it. In this case, it was a majority-albeit a majority by a small margin -who favored leaving the planet. But this was such a radical idea and none of our leaders agreed with it.
After the meeting, Hank and I went back to his room to share a drink and unwind. He was never a big drinker and I wasn't anymore, but we agreed there was no harm at all in a nightcap. The group meeting had been so intense that we both needed someone to talk it through with.
"I don't envy the Professor, Cyke or Storm," I said, holding my drink and sitting back in Hank's recliner. "I bet they're having many sleepless nights over this."
"I am too, my friend," Hank said, sitting across from me. "I fear this question of leaving the planet might divide the team."
I nodded as Hank continued, "At this point, I can see Wolverine, Rogue, Gambit, Colossus, Shadowcat and the others that agree with them just taking off. It's the fight or flight reflex. We're all realizing that we're losing the fight, so the flight reflex is kicking in."
"Well they can't go anywhere till they have a starship, and they can't just go to Wall-Mart to buy one. Our team's research was pretty clear that building one, despite all of our strengths and powers, would be pretty monumental," I said.
"Yes. But stealing one wouldn't be."
We sat quietly for a minute. Hank broke the silence, "You've never said where you stand on this question, Bobby."
"I dunno, Hank. I really don't. It's not that I haven't been thinking about it. On one hand, I hate sitting around here feeling like we're sitting ducks. We've increased our defenses a lot even since I rejoined the team, but I feel that no matter how much our defenses are beefed up or how many hours we spend training, they're going to break in and overwhelm us and come and get us like they did Alpha Force and Magneto. It's a terrifying thought and it does make me want to run. But despite that, I keep going back to what Storm says. We're not going to be any safer floating around in space. And like our team presented at the meeting today, the amounts of food and supplies we're going to need to stay alive on a starship are humongus."
I paused. "I can't tell what you think, Hank. Tonight you seemed in favor of staying, but at the meeting the day we learned of Alpha Force's capture, you seemed in favor of leaving."
Hank shook his head. "I don't know where I stand either, Bobby. The Professor keeps insisting that we must stay behind for the sake of all the young mutants on this planet. It is said that `Hope springs eternal' and I am saddened to find myself losing hope. Despite everything we've done, all the people we've saved from Magneto and all the other nemeses, the average person fears and loathes us more every year. I no longer feel that we are making a difference here. I guess I do want to leave. But I wouldn't do it at the sake of the team's unity."
I leaned forward and rested my head on my hands. "You yourself have done so much for the betterment of humanity. You're one of the most brilliant scientific minds and your research has made many breakthroughs. Look at the thanks you've gotten!"
A look came across Hank's face. It was extremely anguished and it shocked me. "Did I hit a nerve, Hank? Are you ok?"
He took a deep breath. "Something you said did, indeed, trigger a sad memory for me. Something I still mourn to this day. Did I ever tell you about Carly?"
"Carly? No," I answered.
Hank sighed deeply, a sigh filled with pain. "She was a young woman. She was blind. I was working at the Reynolds Clinic for the Blind in the city, researching ways to cure certain types of blindness."
My ears perked up. "Wait, I do remember this. You told me about this in a letter, that you developed the cure for one type of blindness. Of course they named the treatment after the University and not after you. But….you never mentioned a Carly."
"She was my first patient and she was willing to provide the test. We spent a lot of time together over a period of months while I perfected the treatment. We developed feelings for each other. My process cured her blindness. When she looked at me for the first time….she still loved me."
"Hank, that's wonderful!" I said, my mouth getting ahead of my brain. Of course the ending to this story wasn't going to be wonderful. I wished I could've taken those words back.
I think Hank sensed that I realized my error. He continued on soberly, "But it couldn't work out. FOH was strong, even back that. We live in a world of too much violence and bigotry for the relationship to have worked."
"Is that what she said to you?" I asked cautiously. "Is that why she ended it?"
"I ended our relationship for those reasons. Carly protested but…but it was for the best. I think that a relationship just isn't in the cards for me."
"I'm sorry, Hank. I don't know what to say," I said, lamely. What could I say? I had no idea.
"I don't know why I've been thinking of this so much lately. Maybe it's because of what you said to me back in San Francisco, about feeling like a `freak among freaks.' You are not the only one who feels that way, my friend."
I don't know why, but I felt the urge to apologize again. "I'm sorry. But….try to look on the bright side. You have family and friends who love you-that's a great thing." Why did I say the word `family'? I think it just kinda slipped out. I did remember Hank mentioning his family a several times and I knew he sometimes celebrated holidays with them. But my ability to say the wrong thing was reaching an all-time high.
"Ah, yes. My family," Hank put his head in his hands and when he raised his head, another anguished look was on his face. Good one, Bobby, I thought. I keep this up, I should get a job as a counselor. "I know my parents are ashamed of me. They say they love me but I can see it in their eyes….the sadness, the pity. The wonder how they ever gave birth to someone who turned into this and fear it means there's something wrong with them. My appearance is so hideous that they're ashamed."
I'd *never* seen Hank looking this sad. In our first life together as X-men, * he* was always comforting * me*. He looked so depressed and it was so out of character for him that I was actually afraid.
I got off my chair and knelt before Hank. "Listen to me, Hank," I said slowly. "You're * not* hideous. Carly didn't find you ugly and I'm sure she's not the only one." I paused. "Look, don't take this the wrong way….but I personally think you have a certain beauty. You move gracefully, even though your limbs are big. Your face has a dignity and a….a handsomeness to it." I placed some emphasis on the word `handsomeness.' I continued, "And intelligence. I don't think the word hideous is at all a good description."
Hank was quiet and my heart sped up. I'm such an idiot, I thought. Such an idiot. I just violated a big rule: you never tell a straight guy (even one who's apparently celibate) that you find him handsome. Now he's going to think I want him and it will feel all awkward. I should season my shoes with salt and pepper since I always seem to put my foot in my mouth.
But when he focused on me again, I could tell everything was ok and I'd underestimated him once again. "I appreciate that, Bobby. Thank you," he seemed sincerely comforted—even just a little-by what I'd said.
Though part of me knew he wasn't upset or offended, I still felt the urge to cover my tracks. "I mean, just so you know-I didn't mean anything by it or it's not like, you know….you know, I wasn't saying that I had the hots for you or anything like that it's just that…."
Hank smiled patiently. He'd put up with a lot of my stuttering and stumbling over the years. "I know what you mean, Bobby. It's ok."
When I left his room that evening, I knew everything was ok between us and that I had truly been able to offer him some consolation. He was still sad but I could tell he would basically be alright. I made my way to the kitchen since I was hungry and knew sleep would be a long time coming, despite the late hour.
As I walked down the corridor, I thought of what I'd said to Hank. I had been honest; I never fantasized about him or wished we were lovers or anything like that. It's more like I looked up to him, strove to be like him in many ways, really enjoyed his company…and still recognized that he was handsome, at least to me. You could even say I had a small crush on him. But my feelings for him weren't * sexual.* More like the kind of crush you get on someone who you really respect and admire and think is one of the coolest people on earth. It was stupid of me to have that flash of worry that he would think I wanted to jump in the sack with him.
Jubilee sat in the kitchen, munching on some leftovers. Seemed she had the same idea as me. She really perked up when she saw me, which reminded me how much affection I was developing for the young lady. We hung out together quite often.
"Hi, Bobby," said, smiling.
"Hey, girl," I greeted her back, patting her on the shoulder. "What you got there?"
"Some of the left over stir fry. Here, let me get you some," she made a motion as if to get up, but I gently tapped her shoulder again.
"I'm perfectly capable of re-heating leftovers myself," I said, laughing.
"They're in the square tupperware bowl," she guided me. "Second shelf."
There wasn't a whole lot left, so I heated the entire thing. As the microwave hummed away, Jubilee asked me, "Do you want to take that somewhere we can talk together?"
She just read my mind. Hank had been tired so we hadn't spoken much after our little heart-to-heart. But I wanted more company before getting into my cold bed and trying to sleep, and the kitchen was large and wide-open. Privacy would be preferable so we could gossip and such.
Jubilee and I made our way to my room and finished off the stir fry together. I sat on the bed and she pulled up a chair near me. Fatigue rimmed her young eyes but otherwise she seemed to be in a good mood.
"Intense meeting today, huh?" she asked.
"Yeah," I agreed. I didn't want to talk anymore about this, though and said as much to Jubilee. She agreed, so I changed the subject, "So what do you think of Thunderbird?"
"The new guy from India? He seems cool enough. He's homesick though."
"Definitely."
"Why, what do you think?" she asked. "Do you think he's cute?"
I shrugged. "Not especially. What about you?"
"Not really," she said. "Though I do need a boyfriend! Bobby, why do you have to be gay?" she smiled as she said it and I think she tried to make it come off like she was joking. I did, though, sense she had a bit of a crush on me.
"I'm sorry, sweetie," I said, returning her smile and light tone. "I can't change that anymore than I can change being a mutant. But you * should* have a boyfriend, a pretty girl like you. You'd be a catch for any man."
She blushed a bit, "Aw, thank you." She took a deep breath. "It's really difficult for a mutant female to live not having a boyfriend, too."
"It is? Like, is it harder than for a non-mutant female?" I was genuinely confused by her statement.
"Yes," she said.
"How do you arrive at that?" I could tell she had a something to tell and I was really curious.
"Well, there's unscientific research that seems to indicate that mutant females have higher sex drives than non-mutant females."
"Really? Are you serious?"
"Yes! I am," she insisted. "Storm, Rogue, Jean and I had a girls' night out once," she began. I leaned forward. Boy this was going to be good!
Jubilee continued, "And we had a drink each and got to talking about this. Storm said that when she had a lover, she usually wore him out and when she didn't have anyone, she-well, you know, took care of herself-very frequently. Depending on what time of the month it is, she said she could do it two times a day and sometimes even more often.
"And Rogue pretty much said the same thing," Jubilee went on. "She said she was lucky that Remy usually obliges her when she asks. But she said when he's too tired, she has a trusty vibrator that she uses."
"Wait a sec. Rogue and Gambit have sex?"
"Well, yeah. You didn't know they're an item?"
"I did. I guess I just thought….she can't touch anyone, can she?"
"No, she can't. Let's just say that they use their creativity….that's how Rogue phrased it anyway."
"I see. Now go on," I encouraged her.
"Well, that's basically it. We're all hyper-sexed. Oh, Jean said she can control it more though. It must be her background in mind control that lets her discipline her body more, but even she did admit that she loves to make love and she does wear out ole Cyke from time to time. But she said he's really good about giving in to her when she wants."
"Interesting," I said.
"Oh, and here's the kicker. The Morlock women. I guess in their sub-culture it's more acceptable to sleep around. Just the other day we got to talking to some of the female Morlocks who are staying here and they said that basically all the female Morlocks sleep with all the male Morlocks. It's the way they keep the peace among themselves, and the men consider it a very enjoyable duty they must perform otherwise the women go ballistic."
I had to smile at that image.
"And," Jubilee went on, "there are rumors that when Mystique and Destiny were together, they wore each other out and Magento yelled at them for spending so much time in bed together!"
I burst out laughing at that one. Jubilee joined me in giggling. I guess I should've felt a twitch of shame for laughing at the deceased but what can I say? I was tired and needed a good laugh, and the image of Magento chewing out Mystique for having too much sex….
"Wow," I finally said. "Why you think this is?"
Jubilee shrugged. "Our unscientific theory is that it's nature's way of getting us to pass on our genes."
"Maybe Hank can study this some day," I suggested. She and I laughed even more.
"But what about you?" I asked. "If I may ask?" I added that on, even though I knew she wouldn't mind my asking and most likely would tell me everything.
'I'm the same way. Except I've never….you know, had a boyfriend. Storm and Rogue took me a to sex shop in Manhattan once and got me some toys to use, but it's not the same, I imagine. I need the real thing!"
"Well, what about…." One by one we discussed each of the men on the team and their evaluation as a potential sex partner. But Jubilee said she was determined to lose her virginity to someone she really loves and cares about, and not just do it because her body demands it. She said she really wanted to wait till she was married, even and there wasn't any man on the team who was potential marriage material for her.
"So, you see-I'm in a bind," she concluded. Despite her obviously difficult situation, she didn't seem resentful or really upset-just a little wistful.
"I see. My poor Jubilee. I wish I could help," I said.
"You could….if you weren't gay!" I could tell that she was mostly—but not totally-joking.
I laughed, "But I told you, I can't do anything about it!" Our tone continued to be light and playful. "If I could be straight, I would. It would've saved me years in therapy, not to mention a * ton* of money. And it would've kept my parents from disowning me. Well, until they'd find out I'm a mutant, I guess." We both smiled at that one. "But see, you know that Wolverine-type you said you liked?" (During our discussion of the men on the team, she had admitted to an attraction to Wolverine but completely understood it would never work since he viewed her as a little sister and he loved Jean anyway. Plus she liked him in his big-brother role and wouldn't do anything to ruin that.) "See, that's the type I want too. So it's hopeless between us since we want the same thing." (I had a total crush on Wolverine too. I knew it would never amount to anything, but it was there.)
"I know. You're just so sweet, Bobby."
"So are you, hon. And you deserve the best. I think that idea you have of saving sex until you really find someone you love is a great idea, too. Don't worry. He'll come along someday. And in the meantime, you always have those toys that Rogue and Storm bought you, right?"
Despite everything bad that was going on, I went to bed in a good mood that night. I had two really close friends on the team and was feeling more and more like a member of the family. I always got a positive vibe from Jubilee, and went to sleep feeling like everything would turn out ok.
How wrong I was.
TO BE CONTINUED