Did I just crank out a chapter of pure crack? Huh... weird.

In a small boarding house in New York, bunk beds lined up and down the walls, and old man with a slight limp walked past the door, taking a glance at the rows and rows, and the children sleeping in them. The young children, the newsies that lived in the boarding house. He had seen many generations of the children come and go, the most memorable one being when Captain Jack was around.

Of course, children grew, got jobs that paid more, fell in love maybe, left, and others came. He chuckled to himself, not just boys anymore either, girls came as well. He hadn't known at first, a few had cut their hair, slapped on trousers and hats, trying to blend in. It had worked, probably for longer that he realized, but even those careful girls had slipped up, and revealed that girls could pedal papers too.

No one had cared much, the profits were even higher, and the only adjustments they had to make was splitting the bathroom in half with a couple pieces of plywood.

He chuckled, shaking his head, the few girls they had here in the boarding house often pulled more than any of the boys. This old bachelor has come to care for all these children deeply, they were the closest thing to children he would have.

He reached up to the bell, grabbing the rope, and yanking it back and forth harshly. The sound made all the children jump up in bed, alarmed, and then jump down, scrambling to put on shoes, hats, and belt buckles.

His work was done.

Over in a corner of the boarding house, a young teenager sat by the window, puffing on a cheap cigar. It was one of the few girl newsies, her black hair had been chopped off long ago, but had grown back to her shoulders after they had figured that nothing would happen if they found out her gender. Her blue eyes were unlike any humans, sparkling and bright like stars.

A sudden voice shattered her thoughts, "Hey, Racer! That's my cigar!"

She looked up at her nickname, given to her years ago by the other newsies after they saw how fast she could run. The accuser was Bow, another girl newsies who had showed up about two months after Racer, with nothing but a bow and a few arrows, and everyone knew she still kept them on her every day.

Racer shrugged, "You'll steal another."

Another girl newsies, they called her Pit Bull because of how she fought, passed by Hot Shot, a boy newsies as she went toward the bathroom.

"Hey look." Hot Shot said, "It's bath time at the zoo."

Pit Bull snorted, sarcastically saying, "I thought that I'd surprise my Modah*."

Hot Shot snorted, "If you can find her."

Nearly everyone in the room shot a glare at Hot Shot, shouting, "WHO ASKED YOU!?"

Racer hopped up, extinguishing her cigar, heading to the bathroom, "Form bottle alley to the harbor, there's easy pickings guaranteed."

Pit Bull nodded, turning to Snow, another girl there who had snow white hair, but was younger than any of them. "Try any banker, bum, or barber. They almost alls knows how to read."

Bow smirked, grabbing a towel to wash her face, "It's a crooked game we're playin, one we'll never lose."

Rex poked his head into the girls side of the washroom, trying to sneak a peek, but Pit Bull smacked him in the face with a wet towel, "As long as suckers don't mind payin, just to get bad news."

"Ain't it a fine life? Carryin the banner through it all. A mighty fine life, carrying the banner. Tough and tall." Racer hummed, singing the small song they had made up months go when they were really bored.

"When the bell rings, we goes where we wishes, we's as free as fishes, sure beats washin dishes." Bow sung, slapping her hat on and heading out the door with the others. "Carryin the banner home free all!"

Pit Bull leaned on the door frame, looking down at Hot Shot, who was trying to get up on his crutch, "Hey, Hot Shot? What's yer leg say, gonna rain?"

Hot Shot hummed thoughtful, "Uh, no rain, ha! party cloudy, clear by evenin!"

Pit Bull laughed, tossing her dark red hair out of her eyes, "And the limp sells fifty papes a week, all by itself."

"Bah, I don't need the limp to sell papes, I got personality." He stood up on his crutch, "It takes a smile that spreads like butter, the kinds that turns a lady's head."

Pit Bull shook her head, scooping up her younger sister, Kenya, who always went with her selling papes. "Nah, is takes an orphan with a stutter-"

"Who's also blind." Bow chimed in.

Racer smirked, "And mute!"

"And dead!" Kenya giggled, the little actress excited for the day ahead.

Snow shivered at the cold, drawing her coat around herself tighter, "Summer stinks and winter's freezin, when you works out doors!"

"Start out sweatin, end up sneezin, and in between it pours." Racer complained.

Bow spoke up at they walked down to get their papes for the day, "Still it's a fine life! Carryin the banner with me chums! A bunch of big shots, tossin out a freebie to the bums."

Pit Bull glared at the long that wasn't moving at all, "HEY! What's the hold up? Waitin makes me antsy, I likes livin chancy!"

"Harlem to Delancey!" Snow hummed, "What a fine life, carryin the banner through it-"

Nuns in headdresses called to them, holding baskets of rolls and cups of fresh milk, a few doughnuts in between. "Blessed children."

They walked over, each taking just a little, knowing that there were others kids who had to eat, and they only needed a roll or doughnut to start the morning. They mumbled thanks, and returned to the shorter line.

"Jesus loves you!" A nun called after Pit Bull.

Pit Bull just snorted, waited until the nun was out of earshot, and muttered "No one does."

Kenya wasn't listening, nibbling on her doughnut, having licked all the glaze off of it already.

Bow ducked into the building with Pit Bull, trying to get her daily papes "It's gettin bad out there."

"Papes is all I got." Pit Bull mumbled, taking her stack.

"It's eighty-eight degrees." Bow continued, not realizing the Pit Bull wasn't listening.

"Maybe I should change my spot." Pit Bull contemplated.

"Sure wish I could catch a breeze." Bow said wistfully, wiping the sweat off her brow.

"Maybe it's worth a shot." Pit Bull said, flipping through the headlines.

"But all I can catch is fleas." Bow complained, flicking one off of her arm.

"Ugh!" Racer complained, "These headlines are terrible! It's all just about those weirdo's down in Gotham who're runnin around in capes!"

Snow laughed, "Must be from Brooklyn!"

Racer laughed as well, and no one noticed Pit Bull reading about the mask sightings, hanging onto every word, worry in her eyes. "Uh, yeah. Well, If I hate the headline, I'll make up a headline!"

Bow nodded, "And I'll say anything I havta."

Racer sighed, running her hand through her hair, "Cause at two for a penny, if I take to many-"

"Weasel just makes me eat um afta." Snow snapped, tucking her papes under her arm.

Pit Bull hopped up, "I got a feelin bout the headline! I smells me a headline! Papes are gonna sell like we was givin em away!"

Racer's eyes gleamed, "Betcha dinner is a doozy! With a pistol packin floozy, who can really make a newsies day!"

Common day tragedies like shootings or earthquakes meant more people buying papes, which meant a bigger dinner for them.

Rex caught up with the girls, "I do too! So it must be true!" He grabbed Bow, picking her up and twirling her around in happiness, "We'll be rich! Don't know a better way to make a newsies day!"

Weasel poked his big head out of the hut, "Hey! You ingrates get moving! Sell those papes."

Bow held up one of her papes, "If you want us to sell these get better headlines! Give us an earthquake or a war!"

Hot Shot piped up, "How 'bout a crooked politician?"

All the girls turned to him, throwing their hats at him, "Hey stupid, that ain't news no more!"

"Uptown to Grand Central Station, down to City Hall." Pit Bull hummed, picking up Kenya. "We improves are circulation, walkin till we fall!"

"But we'll be out there." Rex said, "Carryin the banner man to man!"

The girls gave him a pointed look, and he just shrugged, and Pit Bull smirked, cracking her knuckles in anticipation, "We're always out there, soakin every sucker that we can!"

Snow jumped out of the way of Racer as she took off down to the harbor, "Here's the headline: Newsies on a mission! Kill the competition! Here's yer next edition!"

"We'll be out there, carryin the banner." Bow hummed. "See us out there, carryin the banner. We're always out there, carrying the banner!"

Snow jogged to catch up with Rex, who was telling Hot Shot some story, "I was staking out the circus, and then someone said that Coney's really hot. But when I got there, there was Tripp with all his cronies! Hell, I'm gonna take what little dough I got, and play with all them ponies!"

Hot Shot nodded, "We at least deserve a good headline for all the hours that they work us!"

Rex nodded wistfully, "Man, if I had just stayed a little longer at the circus…"

Even from three streets over, Snow could hear Pit Bull already shouting at possible customers, "MASKS AT LARGE, PROOF OF GOVERNMENT WORKING WITH THEM! FIND OUT IF THIS RUMOR IS TRUE, RIGHT HERE!"

Snow chuckled, knowing full well that the papers said nothing about the masks working with the government, just a few sightings and crappy pictures. When Pit Bull ran out of lies about the headlines, Kenya would turn on the charm, appeal to empathic people who liked kids.

Now, it was about time Snow got to work. Snow turned to an interesting page, about a gang of alley cats getting into a fight outside Harpy's bar. "GANG FIGHT TO CLOSE TO HARPY'S BAR! FIND OUT IF HARPY'S IS IN CAHOOTS WITH THE MOB!"

This is what happens when I'm on a sugar high, bored, and listening to old musicals.

In case you couldn't guess, Justin is Pit Bull, Kyler is Bow, Conan is Racer, Hot Shot is Raphael, and Kenya is Kenya.

If anyone can tell me which chapter of Desperate Revenge Rex is from (that's his real name) they'll get their name used in an upcoming chapter of Revenge of the Desperate.

Slang:

Modah = Mother

Knows = Know

Alls = All

We's = We're

Papes = Newspapers

Havta = Have to

Afta = After

Soakin = Socking, hitting.

If you all are still reading my ridiculous one shot, review~!