Again, the lyrics to Verve Pipe's NEVER LET YOU DOWN are in bold. The rest is my own story.
Juliet replaced the clip in her gun for the seventh time, then immediately disassembled it again.
That's eight…she sighed to herself, so intent on the task at-hand that she didn't even hear Shawn silently entering the room again.
She spun around when she finally felt him behind her.
She couldn't explain how she knew he was there…
He hadn't spoken a word, hadn't even breathed…but she could feel his eyes watching her.
For a moment, neither of them spoke.
"Why?" Shawn asked finally, his voice so quiet she could barely hear him even though they were only standing inches apart.
"Why what?" She replied, wondering if her voice sounded as soft and hesitant as his.
"Why is it a mistake?"
Her mind suddenly went blank.
Every reason, every excuse that had sounded so right a few minutes ago had completely vanished; swallowed into the depths of his clear, hazel eyes.
"I don't know."
"Yes, you do. Why is it a mistake, Jules?"
She blinked slowly, turning back to her gun…the one thing that made sense, the one thing she knew would never change.
"It just is, Shawn."
"But why?"
"Because…I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground. This time, I want to keep my feet on the ground. I have to."
She faced him again, knowing she didn't have a choice.
She couldn't keep her back turned forever.
"Is there somewhere else you can keep them?" He asked, if it was possible actually stepping closer to her.
"I don't want to lose this, Shawn." She said quietly, involuntarily stepping closer to him, too. "I'm getting to like this feeling I've found. I'm getting to love the thought of having you around…You're my friend, Shawn. I love having you as a friend."
"Why would we lose that?" He wanted to know, gently brushing a single strand of hair out of her eye. "I'm not going anywhere."
Juliet shook her head and pulled back from his gentle touch.
"I've heard that before. I've said that before…"
For a brief moment, Shawn saw something flash across her eyes…some unspoken pain he hadn't noticed before.
He stepped back, suddenly understanding.
"I will never let you down." He said firmly.
"Shawn…"
"No, Jules." He shook his head, refusing to hear another argument. "I will never let you down. And I know your friends were all well-meaning when they said no one is good enough for you…but give me a chance, Jules. You'll never know if it's a mistake if you don't even try."
She retreated a step, resting her hands behind her on the desk.
"I don't have to try, Shawn. It's a mistake. It's always a mistake."
"Why?"
"Because I'll always be a cop. Because I'll always have a badge and a gun and people shooting at me, and sooner or later you'll want me to stop. And I'll never stop, Shawn…and then we'll end up where I always end up. I don't want to play with your emotions. Just dismiss the notion and do what you have to do."
Shawn blinked in surprise.
"Is that what you think?"
She nodded.
"I can't lose another friend, Shawn."
"You won't. I promise."
"You can't promise that."
"Yes, I can." Shawn insisted. "Do you know why most people are miserable their entire lives, Jules? Because people don't take chances with their hearts."
"I've taken chances, Shawn." Juliet returned, her fingers searching for the gun on the desk behind her.
She needed to feel the cool, soothing metal.
She needed to know it was still there, that it hadn't changed.
"I've taken chances, and I've gotten burned every time."
"I haven't." Shawn admitted quietly, more to himself than out loud. "I've never taken a chance. I've never had to, never wanted to…but since I've met you, I'm past the hardest part."
"What's the hardest part?" Juliet sighed, afraid she already knew the answer.
"Finding someone worth the chance. But I've found that now, Jules. So remember one thing: I will never let you down."
Juliet closed her eyes, wishing him away…
Wishing him closer.
"I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground." She whispered, as if trying to convince herself of something.
"Don't." Shawn shrugged, as if it were all that simple.
"Shawn…"
"Let your feet go, Jules."
She sighed and opened her eyes again, and Shawn could see they were brimming with all the tears she had never let herself cry.
"Sometimes you feel defeated…" She told him, her voice distant and somber. "But it's ok. You're not the only one…At least, that's what you tell yourself. And all the complications, the bad situations, happen to everyone…except, they don't, Shawn. They don't happen to everyone. They happen to you, and no matter what you do…they just keep happening…They just keep happening."
She blinked again, and immediately every unshed tear vanished from her eyes.
"Who was he?" Shawn asked quietly, taking another step back.
Juliet smiled palely and shook her head.
"It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how it ended or began…"
"It matters, Jules."
"No, Shawn." She said, her voice suddenly firm. "All that matters is that this is a mistake. It's not part of the plan."
"Sometimes the best that you can do is change your plans."
Suddenly, his hands were resting on top of hers, his body gently pinning her against the desk.
She didn't move, didn't even breath.
"I hope you understand that I will never let you down." He whispered, his lips inches away from her ear.
She closed her eyes again, cradling her head against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her.
"I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground…" She said once more, though by now she couldn't even feel the ground beneath her.