Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Unfortunately she gave Leah and Jake the worst ending ever.

Author/Note: I thought about writing the story The five stages of Grief in Leah's POV, but then it would be too boring. So I ended up writing a small sequel. It will start when Leah arrives from Maryland after breaking up with Aaron.

This story is rated T but some chapters can be rated M for inappropriate language and sexual content (but not too explicit).

I'm not a native English speaker so I'm sorry for my grammar and spelling.

The five stages of Grief [Reversed] by Leah Clearwater

Recovery

I pulled over and stepped out of my car. I was in La Push finally. The sun was long gone from the sky and I checked my cell phone. He hadn't called me after I texted him a few hours ago. I sighed and took my bags out of the trunk. I hadn't told anyone but him about my arrival. My mother and Seth would be surprised to see me and they would be even more surprised when I told them about my plans for the future which would certainly include a relationship with my alpha.

I wasn't expecting to find the house empty. I texted Seth immediately to see if he was alright but I didn't tell him I was home because I wanted it to be a surprise. Seth answered back quickly. They were both fine and having dinner at Charlie's. I knew that sooner or later my mum would have to tell us about her and Charlie but we weren't kids anymore and we weren't blind either. We knew they were together for a while now. It had bothered me at first but not anymore. How could I criticise my mother for dating Charlie Sawn when I was constantly thinking about jumping Jacob Black?

I dragged myself upstairs wondering if I should just call him to meet me but then I recognised the smell. He was waiting for me like he had promised. He was there.

I opened my bedroom door quietly and there he was. The lights were off but we could see perfectly in the dark. He got up from the bed and held me in his arms for a couple of minutes making my heart skip several beats.

I knew immediately that I had made the right decision by breaking up with Aaron because I felt that I belonged in Jacob's arms. It was really funny how things had turned out. I never thought I could fall in love with someone like him. He was still so young and childish and yet when I was with him I felt safe and whole.

"You're here…" he said in a husky voice.

"I am."

"I missed you."

It was truly amazing how those simple words made my whole body shiver and my heart start beating erratically.

I was about to tell him what had happened in Maryland and how I had told Aaron about my true feelings when I felt his finger pressed on my lips.

"Not now Leah." he whispered and then his soft lips were on mine, demanding and desperate. I allowed him to control the moment but I knew I was walking on a dangerous path. He was too young and I still wanted to see if our feelings for each other were genuine. The problem was that my body was moving along with his in a way that I never felt before.

When I opened my eyes again he was pinning me against the bedroom's door and my legs were around his waist. His mouth had left mine and his lips were planting soft and long kisses on my neck. I had no idea why I was giving him all that access to my body when I had previously thought about not rushing things.

"Jake…" my voice was weak and I felt a grin forming on his lips.

"What?"

"We should wait…" my words didn't meet my actions because I kept holding him too close and our breathing was still hard to control. He looked deep into my eyes and started to pull away but I put my arms around his neck and he didn't need more to continue what we had started.

I felt my back against the wood door again and I realised we would break it if we kept going on like that.

"Bed…now!" I ordered. He supported my weight and took us to the bed. His shirt came off first. I needed to feel his skin. He was on fire just like me.

While he was busy trying to free me from my clothes a small part of my brain was yelling at me to stop that nonsense. Jacob was amongst many other things, illegal. He was seventeen years old. We had been raised together. My little brother looked up to him since I could remember. Jacob was supposed to be just a friend. When did he become so much more?

I didn't know and right now I didn't care. All I cared were his hands exploring my almost naked body and his lips devouring mine.

"Jake…what about Nessie?" the stupid part of my brain was trying to come forward.

"She's not here." he said raising his head from my stomach.

"You were right about Aaron. I would never be happy with him…but…maybe we should wait to see if this thing between us can actually work out."

He stood quiet for a minute probably considering the options.

"I love you Leah. I'll do whatever you want me to."

How did he know exactly what to say?

"If my age bothers you…I guess we can wait…" he added.

The fact that he was willing to wait a few more months made me realise that I was being stupid. He would still be the same after he turned eighteen so I cupped his face and pulled him up to meet my eyes. I wanted him to see that I was ready. I wanted him so badly that it was hurting.

He kissed me fiercely making his hands go down my sides stopping only on my thighs. He was so hot that I could almost taste fire while his lips were everywhere on my skin. My fingernails were buried on his back but he wasn't complaining besides, the wounds would heal rapidly.

I moaned his name and that fuelled his actions. I felt his body pressed against mine and I was sure he was ready to cross the border between teasing and making me his. But surprisingly he stopped when his hands reached my bra. I could hear his heart beating as fast as an athlete running the marathon. He was nervous and that was really sweet.

"I…never did this before." he whispered in my ear. I had my eyes closed but I could picture him blushing.

I opened my eyes and flipped us over. Now I was in charge. I lowered my body to his and I planted small kisses on his chest. He murmured my name and I felt happy to know that I was the one making him feel that way. I discarded my underwear and he took a few seconds watching my body. There was no time to feel shy or exposed because I needed him the same way he needed me.

When his cut-offs fell on the floor I shivered in anticipation. He really was gifted. We'd been waiting for too long and even though we both knew that we were rushing things we couldn't stop it. It started slowly and steady. I was guiding him but he didn't allow me to stay in control for much longer so he quickly flipped us over. I fitted perfectly under his body. Jake was supporting his own weight with his elbows while kissing me hungrily, our bodies moving in sync and covered in sweat. It was hard to believe this was actually his first time.

I had no idea how much time it went by since we started making love but I new I didn't want it to end. It felt so right that I couldn't believe it had took me so much time to understand he was the one. Every touch, every kiss, every move he made was driving me insane. And considering the times he had already moaned my name I was pretty sure I was doing the same to him.

I had never quite realised what Jacob meant when he had told me that our relationship was more than just physical attraction until now. When our bodies became one I could feel him entirely. His essence…everything…and I knew now that I was completely in love with him. I could feel, see, hear, taste, touch and smell him everywhere.

When we reached the edge I could hardly breathe. I couldn't tell him that no one had made me feel that way before because he would probably think I was lying and trying to make him feel good so I kept my mouth shut. He was also trying to catch his breath, panting heavily on top of me. Then he slowly rolled to my left side and I felt immediately cold. Sensing this he pulled me closer to him putting one arm around my waist and he covered us with the sheets.

I rested my head over his muscled chest allowing myself to feel totally content with what had just happened. He had exceeded all my expectations.

"I'm sorry." he whispered in my ear.

"What for?" I asked surprised.

"For how things turned out. I never meant to pressure you like this."

Him pressuring me? God…As if I hadn't been more than happy to give in to the pressure.

"Are you complaining Black? 'Cause I didn't hear you complain a few minutes ago." I teased.

He laughed and pulled my body closer to his, if that was actually possible.

"I'm not complaining." he confessed kissing my shoulder.

"No regrets then?"

"Nope. You?"

"I can't believe you asked that."

"Sorry."

"Stop apologising you idiot." I punched his arm softly.

He kissed my nose, my cheek and then my lips and I couldn't help myself. I answered back fiercely just like a few moments ago when we were tangled on the white sheets waiting to regain our normal breathing. I couldn't get enough of his touch and his smell.

"Aren't you going to ask me how it went?" I inquired pushing him back slowly. I didn't know if I could actually take a round two.

"All that matters to me is that you came back. You're here."

I frowned pretending to be hurt by his lack of interest on my two days trip to Maryland. I knew he probably didn't want to hear Aaron's name ever again.

"He wasn't surprised at all. He said he knew he'd lose me sooner or later. I felt bad for him. I should've told him sooner that I was having feelings for you too."

I felt bad for Aaron. He had been an innocent victim in this story but I was happy that it was Jacob lying down in my bed with me.

"You shouldn't feel guilty." he said in a serious tone.

"I don't feel guilty Jake. I just feel sorry for him. He didn't deserve that."

"It was inevitable." he muttered.

"I know."

"I always knew you wouldn't be able to resist my charms." he teased me.

"Shut up Black! You're just lucky my mum and Seth are having dinner with Charlie Swan."

"I think they're the lucky ones. I don't think they would appreciate hearing our…"

I kissed his lips preventing him to continue the sentence. It was embarrassing to talk about how loud we had screamed each other's names while making love.

"Do you realise I can go to jail because of you?" I asked with a grin.

"Come on Leah…you said you didn't care I was younger. I'll be eighteen in a couple of months."

"You're still illegal…I have to stay away from Charlie, just in case…"

We both laughed.

"Seriously Leah…how was I? I mean…it was my first time…"

Did he really have to ask that? I sighed and sat up in the bed holding the sheets around my body.

"Boys and their ego…It's always about competition. If you ask me if yours' bigger than Sam's I'm going to murder you Black!" I threatened him.

He pulled me down and I fell on top of him, then I cupped his face and kissed him softly. I loved his childish behaviour.

"In a scale of one to twenty?" he insisted.

"Humm…You're a seventeen and a half. Are you happy now?" I was lying. He had been a solid twenty but I couldn't tell him the truth. That would make him too proud of himself. He would never stop bragging about it.

"I'm starving." he complained. "Can you go get me something to eat?"

Was he kidding me?

"I'm not your fucking maid! What the hell!" I moved away from his embrace and I poked him on the chest.

"It was a joke Leah." he confessed in surrender.

I crossed my arms and glared at him.

"You're an asshole."

"Yeah…but you love me."

I couldn't help but smile. Then I decided I should get up.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To have a shower. When Seth gets here I can't smell like you, can I?"

He frowned.

"Stop sulking. If you're hungry just go downstairs and get something to eat."

I picked up a few clothes and left to the bathroom. I couldn't stop thinking about him, us. We were together. I was still shitless scared that he could go back to Nessie in the future but I wanted to try. He wasn't Sam.

I returned to the room a few minutes later and he was watching the ceiling with a dreamy look on his face.

"Jake…I can still smell you in me." I said. He stared at me and shrugged. "Seth's going to notice."

"Maybe we should tell them. I mean they will find out eventually."

"That's an awesome suggestion Jacob. Seth will kill you right there."

"They'll understand."

"Do you really know Seth?"

"Sure."

"I don't think so."

"I didn't take advantage on you. I'm sure he'll see that."

"Maybe. After he kills you. There's something you need to learn about my brother Jacob. He will kill you if he thinks you're going to hurt me."

"In that case, you just need to tell him that you love me too."

I don't think Seth would actually fall for that.

"You're insane. Alpha or not, Seth won't let this go easily."

"Okay…fine. We do it your way. What's your brilliant plan then?"

I didn't have one. Great.

"I think you shouldn't be here when they arrive. I'll prepare them and then tomorrow we can sort things out, okay?" that was the best I could do.

"No."

"What?"

"I said no."

"I know that. I want to know why you said no…"

"When you came back with Aaron you didn't warn anyone you had a boyfriend. I had to watch you two together while my insides were twisting at the sight of you with another guy. You didn't care about our opinion, did you?"

"You lost me Jake…I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Why can't you do the same with me?"

"Do what?"

"Why can't you just tell your mother and brother that we're together? Are you having regrets? Are you afraid of what they'll think?"

"No. I'm not having regrets." now he was acting like a jerk.

"Good, because you once told me you didn't want to be a replacement. And I don't want to be a secret. From now on it's you and me."

He wanted us to go public. He wanted everyone to know I was with him. I couldn't go against him because I wanted everyone to know that we were together too.

"Okay…if this is really what you want…we'll tell them tonight." I gave in. It would be his funeral, not mine.

He got up quickly and put his strong arms around my waist, inhaling my hair. We remained like that for a couple of minutes until we heard a car pulling over.

"Are you ready?" I asked.

"Always." he said. He finished dressing up and then we left my room.