Hey! Yeah, I'm starting a new fic while still working on "Disproving Guilt" -- just to get the creative juices flowing. That's my excuse, anyway. I don't know how long it's going to be, but not too short, judging by the amount of notes I have for it.

The pairing is actually what I'd call SeiferxSquall(xLaguna), with Squall and Seifer the romantic focus and Laguna a one time addition. Oh, um, and much mention of Laguna+Raine. Warnings? Incest, obviously, and yaoi/slash. Romance, a little angst, and hopefully smut if the muses allow. Though, of course, I shall point you to a link for the smut, rather than posting it here,

Erm, other notes... POV, as usual, but not exactly the same style as usual. The POVs will probably stick to Laguna, Squall or Seifer. :)

Laguna POV

Squall watched me as I finished the batch of paperwork piled high in front of me, rushing a little. I probably did more work in the few minutes he was watching me than I'd done all day so far. He made me feel uncomfortable then. I didn't know him then, and his stiff stance spoke to me of frosty annoyance and a distasteful, but necessary, political visit. It felt as if he didn't want to be there and he was making sure I knew it.

I didn't want it to be like that with my son, even though at that point, he didn't know that he is my son. I wanted to get on well with him, try and make up for the time when I haven't been a good father to him - or even a father at all.

He shifted, his leather pants creaking, and I looked up with what I fervently hoped was a friendly, apologetic smile. "Ah, I'm sorry, Squall; I'll be just a few more minutes."

He just nodded; silently watching me and making me work even faster, my signature getting steadily untidier as I worked down the page of boxes to check and lines to sign on faster than I ever had before – or, probably, since.

He shifted again, apparently as uncomfortable with hovering over me as I was with him there, biting his lip lightly. "I can go away and wait elsewhere if I'm disturbing you."

"What? Oh no, I'm done now, look!" I signed the last paper triumphantly, pushing it aside with a relieved sigh.

That sight made him smile one of his faint, barely there smiles, the edges of his mouth curling upwards the tiniest bit. I enjoyed the sight, something I hadn't seen before.

"Do you want anything? I can get you a drink, something to eat, whatever…" I trailed off, shrugging slightly. All my friendly advances just seemed to make him colder and more closed off, sapping any warmth from the atmosphere.

That was what time, training and war did to my son. At the time, I didn't know how I would ever find words to melt him a little towards me. I feared telling him the truth, because I didn't know what he'd do. I guess I was afraid that he would never speak to me again. And I was probably justified in that fear, too.

"I don't want anything."

He certainly didn't go in for the social niceties. It threw me off guard a little, so used to dealing with politicians who will skirt around a subject for hours to find a more diplomatic approach.

That's something I liked a lot about Squall, however ill at ease it made me feel. He forced things right to the point. But that day I hated him for it. I didn't want to go right to the point. I wanted to tell him the truth – that he is certainly my son – when I was good and ready, comfortable, when the words came easily to my tongue.

I would probably have waited until never for that to happen if it weren't for his stubborn indifference to all my suggestions.

"Well, do you want to go out for food, or shall I order something to be brought here? I always prefer to talk over a meal, it -"

"I'm not hungry, but if you want to get something, it's fine with me."

That frustrated me. He simply wasn't allowing me to make it easier on both of us. But probably his way was best. I might never have ended up telling him, and things could have been so different… but I did tell him. Eventually.

I was somewhat at a loss, though. "Oh, that's fine then… whatever you prefer…"

"I'd prefer to know why I needed to come here." He crossed his arms in front of his chest, his brown hair falling into his eyes.

If he hadn't been my son, I'd have said to hell with the age gap and jumped him right then and there. But he is my son, and besides, I was too caught up with nerves and wondering what Raine would think of me (so afraid to tell our son that he is mine and admit to my bad parenting) to seriously contemplate such a thing at all. Raine knew very well that I am a man with so many faults, but the thing she never tolerated in me was skirting around my faults and laughing them all away.

For Raine, then, I decided.

"Actually, ah, it's not something really official, not Garden business, I mean. I need to talk to you about something more personal…"

He narrowed his eyes slightly, questioningly, but otherwise, he barely even twitched.

"As I said, I'm all for talking business in the office, but I'd prefer to have personal conversations somewhere more comfortable." I tried keeping up a cheerful grin, but it seemed that Squall was immune to it.

"You didn't say that, actually."

"Ah, well, I meant to say it. As I was saying, somewhere more comfortable…?"

"Whatever."

I took that as an okay. "I'd rather not go out to eat, I think, so I hope you don't mind eating here…"

An exaggerated sigh told me that he was more than willing to do whatever, as long as I got to the point. I was surprised he even reacted at all by that point.

With his eagerness to get things over with and my own nervousness, we were seated at a table soon enough. Kiros and Ward were within hearing, but talking quietly, I wouldn't be heard. They were the ones most insistent that I told Squall that I was his father. They were right, it was necessary, and it might have been for the best, but telling him didn't change anything really. Though… who knows what would have happened if I hadn't told him?

"Listen, Squall…" I paused. Having started, I had to go on, but I couldn't find the words, my tongue tangling around them. The only thing I was aware of, apart from the excruciating silence, was his eyes. God help me, but his eyes always are beautiful.

He just looked at me, making things worse, until I was trapped in his gaze and I couldn't get away. I squirmed in my seat a little. Raine looked at me like that, sometimes, but she never made me feel so uncomfortable. There was a look in his eyes that put me on edge as he watched me. "What?" he said, finally, splintering the silence for a moment.

I leaned back in my chair and shut my eyes to stop the uncomfortable feeling of meeting his eyes and being judged by him. It didn't stop me being uncomfortable one bit. His eyes were still there, an almost tangible touch.

"I have to tell you something."

"So tell me," he said, impatient with my side stepping.

It was then or never. I opened my mouth, shut it, and finally just blurted it out. "I'm your father."

"What?"

I opened my eyes and this time he was looking at me with honest, open-mouthed disbelief. I would have laughed at his reaction if I hadn't been so worried about his reaction, and I was tempted to make some kind of joke about it anyway to lighten the suddenly charged air. I reached out to put a hand on his, daring to reach across the gap that he always placed between us. "I know it's a shock. And I know you probably don't want to acknowledge it… I haven't been much of a father, or one at all really, but I wanted you to know, I thought… your mother would have wanted you to know."

He yanks his hand away from mine. "You are my father?"

It hurt. I knew that maybe he'd reject the idea, but still, the way he snatched himself away from me before I'd even had a chance… I knew I deserved it though.

"Yes."

"You can't be," he said, looking at me with his eyes burning. So very beautiful, and I remembered Raine's eyes holding that same spark. That thought burned, too.

"I am." I was off, by then. I had to speak, pour it all out, desperate not to lose my son before I ever got to even try to be a father. "Your mother was Raine – did you know that? I forget how much Ellone showed you, but you did see Raine, didn't you? She'd have been so proud of you, though I suppose if she was alive you wouldn't be a SeeD…"

"Stop it," he said harshly, standing up. "I don't want to hear it."

"Squall…"

"I don't know why you felt like telling me all of a sudden, but I'm not interested. I don't need some father I've never known, I don't need anyone."

"That's a lie. You need someone." My anger flared to match his. How dare he stand there, apparently indifferent, uncaring, and then flare up like that at the first hint that things aren't as he imagined?

"How dare you speak to me as if you know me?"

I knew even then that his anger was a rare thing, something that happened so rarely that very few people could provoke him to it. But the look in his eyes that day struck right through my heart. My eyes blurred with tears and I blinked them away, not wanting to cry in front of him. Pure betrayal and hatred and anger; that's what I saw in his eyes at that moment.

He straightened, controlling himself, locking down on his rage as he locked down all his emotions. "I'll be leaving Esthar and returning to my duties at Balamb Garden early in the morning. Thank you for allowing me to stay here, President Loire." That said, he turned sharply on his heel and walked out of the room.

I lent over, resting my forehead against the cool of the table. I heard Kiros's steps behind me and I didn't move, didn't even flinch as his hand landed on my shoulder. "I think that reaction was to be expected," he said gently.

"I've fucked up badly, haven't I?"

He squeezed my shoulder, never a man of very many words. "He'll come round."

"I don't think he will ever really care about me as his father." I hated the waver in my voice, the tiny break, but I was never afraid of Kiros laughing at it. He was too much of a good friend to do that.

"You haven't really been his father, from his point of view," he pointed out. "He never knew he even had a father alive."

"I understand why he reacted that way, and I wish I didn't," I said, bleakly.

Kiros only allowed me a few more moments of self pity before he gripped my shoulder a little tighter and released me. "You still have work to do."

"I know." I knew he was only trying to help, trying to keep me occupied. But it didn't stop me giving him a bitter look as I rose and headed to my office, intent on burying myself in work since he had suggested it.

"I'm sure he'll come round," he offered, repeating himself in a vain attempt to reassure me.

"I'm not."