A/N: Helloooooo~ The title is self-explanatory, so...may you have many wtf moments readings this :P

Kimimaro had been chased by ninja from the Hidden Leaf Village for the past few days now. He could not return to Orochimaru's hideout till the chase was over, or he would reveal its secret location. That was the last thing the shinobi wanted, so he led the team to a lake, far from the hideout. Under normal circumstances he could've just taken them out, but his illness had relapsed and his jutsu were not working like they should.

It came to the last of them. A trembling kunoichi, backed up against a tree; it was pathetic really. All he had to do was slit her throat with one sharp finger bone. He willed the bone to emerge, pointing his finger at the girl. No bone appeared, and he tried again. In the end he killed her with her own kunai, but he remained under the tree, trying and trying again to activate his kekkei genkai. The fingers, the spine, the ribs…he tested as many bones as he could. Kimimaro had a very intimate understanding of the human body.

Then he came to the upper arms, and to his relief two sharp bones emerged from his elbows. These were the only bones that could be activated. They retracted into his arms with a snick. Of all places, the elbows! It would be extremely awkward when fighting. With a sigh Kimimaro prepared to head back to the hideout and have Kabuto fix him up again.

A flurry of leaves appeared suddenly appeared around him: more Leaf ninja. He easily dodged a chakra-infused kunai that was first thrust at him. The fireball that came next was simply leapt over. The third attack was a barrage of tai-jutsu manoeuvres, which admittedly made him sweat a bit. But just a bit. Having avoided the Leaf ninja's first attacks he raced out of the forest. His three pursuers were leaping from branch to branch above him.

And that was how Kimimaro came to the lake near the borders of the forest. It was a strange lake fed by two waterfalls plunging down from smooth rock cliffs. On the other side lay a shallow layer of forest. All he had to do was walk across the water, and he'd be out of the forest. Without hesitation Kimimaro placed his foot on the water — he instantly fell in. Fortunately the splash was indiscernible from the thunder of the twin waterfalls. It was the second embarrassment for Kimimaro of the Sound Five that day. That was it, he would not rely on his chakra anymore. He took a deep breath and began swimming towards the other shore.

From behind him he heard a faint splash. So the Leaf ninja had stepped onto the water. Curse their healthy chakra! Kimimaro rushed for the shore, pushing the water back with his arms to propel himself forward.

"Gyaaa!" Kimimaro turned his head to look. What the—

Somehow, somehow he had unexpectedly impaled one of the ninja with his elbow blade. He did not even realise that it had emerged. Kimimaro shook the injured ninja off and continued swimming. Each time he pulled his arms back, his elbow blades would emerge. One of the healthy ninja stayed behind to care for the one he impaled. The other made sure to keep a faaaaaar distance from his elbows.

A light smile on his face, Kimimaro pulled himself up onto the shore (his blades slid out again), walking smugly out of the forest.

Perhaps his auto-emerging elbow blades weren't so bad after all.

Next chapter preview:

"I can't read with my blades tearing into the pages."