God, Kathleen is stunning! And so modest about it. When I tell her how nice she looks when she shows up for the study group, she says, "Thanks, Dave. But I've been waiting tables for the last eight hours and I am not exactly feeling like Michelle Pfeiffer."
Debbie, who is the most sarcastic woman I've ever met, says, "Ha! Oh, yeah, you look like hell!" She's fat with glasses and dark, curly hair. I don't know what Kyle sees in her.
But who cares? Kathleen is sitting next to me on the couch at Tony's place. Well, his boss's place, since Tony is a housekeeper. Yeah, kind of an unusual job for a middle-aged Italian guy from Brooklyn, but no more unusual than him being a college student. He's cool though, and smarter than you'd expect. I can see why Kyle and Debbie voted for him to lead our study group, although I voted for Kathleen of course.
She's not just beautiful but she's very intelligent, especially about art. In fact, I once overheard her tell Debbie she used to date an art student. But she's single now. OK, she's probably out of my league and a little old for me (maybe 28?), but you never know. I rest my arm along the back of the couch, waiting for a signal to do more.
What happens is Tony's boss, Ms. Bower, comes home with clients and she argues with Tony and eventually she kicks us out of the house, suggesting we study in a motel. I mean, she's nice about it, a very classy lady. And actually, I like the idea of going to a motel with Kathleen, even if there are the other three people along. Maybe she'll offer me a lift home afterwards, since I came over here in Debbie's car, with Kyle. And then who knows?
###
God, Dave is pathetic! The guys and I go pick up pizza for the study group, which has been relocated to a motel. (Tony's boss, Ms. Bower, is very assertive, downright bossy, which I admire, although it's inconveniencing me and the rest of the group.) Dave decides to get Kathleen a dinner salad, with extra-large croutons.
"See, he figures if he gives her rabbit food, then she will act accordingly," Kyle whispers to me. I try not to crack up. Kyle is very witty in a crude way, or very crude in a witty way. We met when we were in a literary discussion group last Fall. That's also indirectly how I met Tony, because his seventeen-year-old daughter lied about her age and pretended to be a college sophomore, due to a crush on the grad student leading the discussion group.
Anyway, Kyle and I used to argue about whether Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights is the embodiment of evil (I took the pro position, he the con). Then one night he asked, "Do you want to go out Saturday?" And without thinking about it, I said, "OK."
I mean, yeah, he's a big nerd, but so am I. It just means two pairs of glasses get steamed up when we park in my car. Well, sometimes he takes his glasses off, like when he's tired or, ahem, otherwise interested in going to bed. And then after we "otherwise," he rolls over and falls asleep. Other than that, it's a pretty good relationship, somewhere between casual and serious.
Anyway, he's in my league. We're about equal, physically and intellectually. Dave isn't on Kathleen's level in either looks or intelligence, although he's kind of sweet in a pathetic way.
"How come you never buy me a dinner salad?" I ask Kyle.
"I wouldn't want you to think I was imposing societally sanctioned body image issues on you."
"Yeah, but I like extra-large croutons."
"I got your extra-large croutons, right here!" He does the New York voice but not the crotch-grab, since we're in a restaurant, not bad for a guy from the suburbs of Hartford. (Tony is authentically Brooklyn, but actually very classy and gentlemanly in his own way.)
We get the pizzas and the salad to go and head over to the motel. I'm driving because I'm the only one of the three of us with a functional car right now. We took the textbooks and the screen, while Tony and the slide projector are in Kathleen's car. Kathleen, ugh, that woman is annoying!
I'm very glad Kyle finds her equally annoying. Unlike Dave, he's not dazzled by her blonde hair and tall, skinny body. Kyle sees her as the obstruction she is to our study group. But as Tony noted earlier, she does have the spare bulb for the projector.
###
God, Debbie is hot! I know Dave thinks I'm crazy, but he likes the Kathleen type (and isn't exactly subtle about it). I like a woman with curves, and Kathleen is too lanky for me. Plus she's Little Miss I-Have-a-Better-Idea.
Yes, Debbie is opinionated, too, but she's not smug. And when we argue, it's very sexy. Our first time together was an indirect result of an ongoing argument over the duality of being in Wuthering Heights. Our minds clashing made me think about what it would be like to wrestle physically. So one night I just asked her, point blank, with no over-intellectualization, whether she wanted to go out. And she answered me with the same directness.
And the sex was great, still is great, months later. I know she'd like more afterplay, but I feel so relaxed and peaceful afterwards that I just want to fall asleep next to her.
The one thing we don't discuss to death is our relationship. We know we're in one, but we haven't made any sort of commitment. We just keep going out, and going to bed together. Or at least making out in her car. Tonight Dave is along, so that's cramping our style, but maybe a miracle will happen after the study session in the motel and Kathleen will offer him a ride home. Of course, then we'll have to drop Tony off, since he's in Kathleen's car, but at least Tony isn't annoying like Dave.
And, yes, Dave isn't nearly as annoying as Kathleen. When we get to the motel, with the screen, books, pizzas, and Dave's "something special" for Kathleen, she of course has to get into some stupid argument with Tony about whether or not Michelangelo was a religious artist. You know what's stupid about the way she argues? There's no passion to it. She acts like she's the reasonable one (like earlier, when she objected to Tony starting with the 19th century artists, even though he's the group leader and had given the slides a lot of thought), and she has to enlighten the person she's arguing with. No wonder Tony described her earlier as "a little stubborn and a little totally obnoxious." Give me a loudmouthed but sincere woman like Debbie any day!
To my surprise, Tony (who is also stubborn, but sincere) actually convinces Kathleen. Then they start talking about her trip to Italy. This is weird! I thought he couldn't stand her, any more than Debbie and I can.
Finally, we get back to the slides. I hope this isn't going to take all night to review.
###
God, Kyle is lucky! Dating is so easy at his age. Well, I assume. When I was 20, I had a pregnant wife. Now here I am with all these, well, to me they're kids. And Kyle and Debbie can bicker and flirt and I guess date with no worries.
On the other hand, there's poor Dave, with his hopeless crush on Kathleen. I wish he would come to me for, well, not fatherly advice, but avuncular? I'd tell him to not try so hard. You can be nice and considerate to a girl without being a wimp about it. Like, I do little thoughtful things for Angela, things that no other housekeeper would do for her, but I don't make a big production out of it. I don't lose my dignity over her.
OK, it was a little humiliating for her to pull rank on me tonight, kicking me and my study group out of the house. After all, we were there first and I had told her, twice, that we were meeting there that night. And it's not like she and her clients couldn't have listened to the music at the studio. But I gave in, because Mona was getting on my nerves, too, and a motel did seem like it would have fewer distractions.
And it does, but the kids all wimp out. After a couple hours, the three of them want to quit just because it's getting late. But we've got 36 hours to study 200 years of art, so I'm not quitting, and neither is Kathleen.
But then she's not a kid either. She's maybe ten years younger than I am. She knows what it's like to be an "older college student."
Debbie says she'll drive the guys home. I guess I can get a ride home from Kathleen when we're done here.
You know, she's not as bad as I thought. We now admit that we saw each other as "a little driven, a little serious, a little pushy." But if we weren't that way, then maybe we'd have quit early like the others. And we'll be the ones to get A's on the test, I bet.
We talk about how much we both love school, now that we have this chance to go back. It's nice to talk to someone who understands that. Well, Mona does, but she was at a different place in her life than I am, going back in her 50s (although she barely admits to 30 even now).
I think the study group will be even better with just two of us. We can really focus, because we both take it so seriously.
###
God, Tony is nervous! He wasn't before, when everyone was here. We were both relaxed and joking. Then something changed. It was partly that we went on to more erotic slides. And partly that when the motel manager came in, he again assumed that Tony and I were a couple, not believing that there were three other people here after we checked in.
I guess I'm nervous, too. Even Van Gogh's Starry Night seems very erotic to me now, the pulsating, sensuous lines and colors. After all, I'm sitting here, on the edge of a bed in a dark motel room, with a handsome man that I've connected to more than I expected. I used to find Tony too macho and pushy, which he is, but he's also sensitive and intelligent and funny, which I find highly attractive.
We look at each other. And then we lean in and kiss! It's tentative at first, and then we put our arms around each other.
We both lay back on the bed, still kissing, still holding each other. It's been awhile for me, not since my ex the art student, also named Tony as it happens. In a way, I want to talk about this, what we're doing, why it's happening, but the other Tony and I talked everything to death. I just want to let this happen, not worry about what it means, if it means anything.
This Tony is a good kisser, very good. Very passionate, too! Soon we're taking each other's clothes off. He seems hungry for me, as if he hasn't been with a woman in a long time, and as if he's the kind of man who needs sex desperately. Well, I suppose that's true of many men. Even Dave, who seems sweet and pathetic, is probably being driven mad by hormones, but I can tell he's a virgin who doesn't know how to get started.
Tony knows. I can tell he's been with a lot of women. It hasn't made him blasé—he's savoring every step—but I can sense the experience, the knowledge. At the same time, he's got a very good body, he doesn't look middle-aged.
I do have to say one thing before we continue. "Tony, do you have any condoms?"
He stares at me. I wonder if he doesn't use them, being a macho Italian Catholic. That could be a problem. I want him, but I'm not taking any unnecessary risks.
"You kiddin' me? I came here to study!"
I laugh, because that may be why he originally came to this motel, but it's not why he's here now. He smiles sheepishly.
"Well, so did I. But I 'don't leave home without it.' "
"You don't mean your American Express, do you?"
I shake my head and reach for my backpack. "I didn't have any plans for tonight. But it takes awhile for these to expire, and you never know what might happen at a party, or on a date, or—"
"With a study group?"
"Yes." I take out my purse and then the wrapped condom out of that. "Unless you are morally or religiously opposed to condoms, I'd like you to wear one. And if you are opposed, well, I should probably drive you home."
He hesitates and then says, "No, I'm not opposed. Thanks."
It's another awkward moment, but we work our way past the awkwardness and nervousness and it's one of the best times ever. I know I should be studying for the Art final, but there are still 35 hours for that.