It was just too much. She couldn't go on like that anymore. Not caring for the crying baby in the pram, she put her head into her hands and wept.
xxx
Minerva McGonagall was furious. Why was it that every Minister of Magic became difficult after a few years? Not wanting to Apparate while she was so angry, she decided to walk a few steps along the small river. It was a beautiful day and she fully intended to enjoy it. Now, after two years of grueling work, Hogwarts was finally rebuilt. The children were back at school for a year already, but so many things still had to be done during that year. It seemed that after a year of mourning and another of trying to get back to normal, everything was running smoothly again, or as smoothly as possible. Feeling calmer with every step, she promised herself to avoid the Ministry until the beginning of term at all costs. It was her first real holiday as a Headmistress after all.
Just when she was ready to Apparate, she heard the cries of a baby. Turning her head towards the sound, she spotted a young woman on a bench. The pram with the wailing child stood beside her, but she didn't move or talk to stop the sound. Minerva didn't know why she couldn't just leave, but something told her that she had to have a closer look. With an annoyed huff she walked over to the still unmoving woman.
"Don't you want to look after your child?" She asked sternly.
The young woman looked up and Minerva felt her heart stop for a second. Despite the redness of the eyes, Minerva was sure she would have recognized them everywhere. "Miss Granger."
"Professor McGonagall," Hermione greeted, clearly embarrassed. They had left the titles behind since the war ended two years ago, but at the moment they served as an invisible shield between them.
The baby was still crying and brought Minerva out of her stupor. "Hermione, is everything all right?" She walked closer to the bench and looked into the pram. "Is that Lillian?" She asked. She had been invited to dinner with the Weasleys to celebrate the birth of Lillian, Hermione's and Ron's first child, but she hadn't gone. There was just too much work at Hogwarts.
Hermione nodded and Minerva started to rock the pram, hoping the screams would stop. The little one clearly had quite a voice. "Hermione, what happened?"
"I can't do that anymore," the young woman whispered. New tears started streaming down her face. "I'm a complete failure."
"Nonsense, Hermione," Minerva rebuked sternly. "You've never been a failure. Now tell me what is wrong," she added in a gentler tone and sat beside her former charge, putting a hand on her back, while still rocking the pram.
Hermione shook her head. "I can't do that anymore. She won't stop crying. She is fed and clean, but she just won't stop crying. I tried everything! I haven't slept for almost a week and I just can't… I don't know what to do," Hermione uttered, and sobbed uncontrollably.
To say that Minerva was shocked would be the understatement of the century. Where the hell was Ronald? His wife was going to pieces and he was nowhere to be seen.
"Dear, dear," the elder woman soothed, drawing the young mother into her arms, for a moment ignoring the still crying baby. "All will be well," she soothed, rubbing slow circles on Hermione's back. "Where is Ronald?" She asked, but hearing Hermione's sobbing increase, she wished she hadn't. "It's all right, Hermione. I'm going to take Lillian for a moment. Is that all right with you?"
Feeling a nod against her shoulder, she slowly detangled herself from the still weeping woman and reached into the pram, gently lifting the baby.
"Hello, little one," she cooed as she carefully held the small body with one arm and tenderly stroked the little head. And then, all of a sudden, Lillian stopped crying and looked up with intelligent brown eyes that reminded Minerva so much of Hermione's.
The silence was so new to Hermione's ears that she looked at her former professor in wonder. "How did you do that?" she whispered, staring at her silent and absolutely content looking daughter.
Minerva slowly handed Hermione her daughter. "Here, take her." It made her sad to see that the young witch seemed almost hesitant to hold her own child. She didn't know what was wrong and if she could help at all, but she was willing to try. Her relationship with Hermione had always been special . They hadn't had much contact after the battle, but it pained her to see her not so secret favorite former cub like that. She had been so busy rebuilding Hogwarts and Hermione… well, she was Ronald's wife and mother of a beautiful daughter. They both hadn't taken much time for social calls.
She didn't know if she could help much, but there was one thing that she could do and that couldn't wait. Hermione needed to sleep before she broke down completely.
"Come with me, Hermione." The tone of her voice didn't leave any room for discussions and Hermione didn't try.
Seeing her former charge nodding, she reached for the pram and put a hand on Hermione's shoulder. A moment later they arrived at a vast area, protected by unseen magical walls: McGonagall manor.
"Welcome at my family home," Minerva stated, already walking towards the huge door. The estate looked almost like a little castle with its small towers, but despite its size it seemed to melt into the Scottish landscape perfectly. Large, old trees that probably had seen a lot of life, love and loss of the McGonagall dynasty dominated the garden to the left side of the manor, accompanied by an equally large lake. The garden on the left side of the manor looked like one of the show gardens in some posh garden magazine with breathtakingly beautiful flowers, skillfully arranged to show off each blossom in the best possible way.
Noticing her young charge's observations, a little smile graced the older woman's features. "Do come in, Hermione – preferably before you faint from exhaustion," she invited. "I will show you the gardens later."
Hermione blinked up at her, suddenly remembering why she was here in the first place. She really had been enough of a bother already. "Minerva, I…"
The elder witch, however, shook her head, not wanting to hear Hermione's apologizes. "You need to sleep, Hermione. Dilly will show you to the guest room and I'll watch Lillian."
Upon hearing her name, the little House Elf appeared in front of them. "Yes, Minerva?" Oh, we have guests!" She was obviously excited and Hermione wondered if it was so rare that Minerva had visitors in her home.
"Hello, my dear. Yes, we have guests. This is Hermione and the little one is Lillian. Would you mind showing Hermione to the guest room?" Minerva was more than aware that Dilly was over the moon at the prospect of having guests. She always complained that the house was too quiet.
"Of course, Minerva. It is my pleasure!" The small face beamed with joy.
Even Hermione had to smile at Dilly's enthusiasm. "Hello, Dilly," she greeted. "It is nice to meet you." Then she turned to Minerva. "While I thank you very much for your kindness, I can't possibly…"
As if on cue, Lillian started crying again.
Minerva reached into the pram and lifted the screaming child into her arms and murmured a few soft words of comfort into the infant's ear. Just a little while later, the cries abated.
"Please, Hermione. I can't even remember the last time I had the chance to look after a child that small." Minerva knew she wasn't playing fair, but at least she didn't lie. She would enjoy looking after Lillian.
Giving in to her fate, Hermione nodded. "All right," she accepted and tenderly stroked her daughter's soft hair. "Thank you, Minerva."
"You are more than welcome, dear," she assured the young mother. "Oh, do you breastfeed her?"
Hermione sadly shook her head and for a moment Minerva thought she looked embarrassed. "No. They said I don't have enough milk. Great mother, am I not? I can't even feed my own child." The bitterness of her voice seemed to come directly from her heart.
Shifting Lillian a little, Minerva freed one hand and comfortingly squeezed Hermione's arm. "We will talk about all that later, my girl. Now you go up and sleep. Do you have any bottles for Lilly in case she gets hungry?"
"Yes, of course." Hermione reached for the bag that was attached to the pram and handed it to Minerva. "Here. You just need to warm them for half a minute before giving them to her."
The elder witch took a long look at the baby in her arms and a tender expression graced her features. "I will. Now off you go," she shooed. " Oh… would you mind if I had Poppy in to have a look at both you and Lilly?"
Hermione raised her eyebrows in question, but the truth was that she felt too tired to care. "We are both healthy," she offered halfheartedly.
Minerva nodded in understanding, but she still wanted to be absolutely sure the two girls were perfectly healthy. Something was awfully wrong and until she didn't know what, she had to eliminate every other reason that might have caused this obvious mess. "I'm sure, but it would make me happy. Better safe than sorry, aye?"
Hermione just shrugged. There was no harm in getting one's health checked, so there was no reason to refuse Minerva's request. "I suppose so. I won't mind."
"Thank you, darling." She watched Hermione follow Dilly upstairs to the guest room, then looked at the sleeping child in her arms. "Come on, my little darling. Let's sit outside while your mummy rests a little and later I'll introduce you to aunt Poppy."
I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my new story! I am very sorry, but ff seems to have problems with the review replies,so I can't thank you personally for your reviews.