Prompt by Tumblr's kajunblueyes: Felicity breaks down and tells Oliver about her mother and how she blamed her for her fathers disappearance. Her mother verbally and physically abused her and told her how worthless she was and no one would love her. She had to fight for everything she has and oliver gains a new respect for her strength. He questions his relationship with Sara and how it isn't as important as the woman hurting before him. Olicity ending :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Arrow or its characters – they belong to the CW and to DC Comics.
I was very pleased that I finished this. I thought I would take longer, but for some reason the words flowed easily and I ended up with this. Hope you like it!
"You never did tell me," Oliver said suddenly. "Why you believed my mother when she said that I'd hate you."
Felicity twisted uncomfortably on her couch. She had long ago learned to not mention her family in her rambles, no matter how inappropriate they were. Telling Oliver about Thea had been one of the very few times that she slipped. And when she did slip and someone questioned further, she often shut down or ran like hell to avoid the questions, simply because she had moved thousands of miles away from the mess that was her family and she didn't need reminders of it. But he was just so close to her and staring at her with those intense cobalt eyes that could make her do anything and before she knew what was happening her mouth was talking.
"After my dad left, my mom was a mess. She had loved him so much... he had been her whole world for so long that I don't think she knew how to function without him. So it was kind of inevitable when she went into this downward spiral that she could never get out from. Suddenly she was drinking, and then she was drinking a lot. The alcohol eventually wasn't enough for her, and she started popping pills, getting high. And when she was on them..." The words caught in her throat then and Felicity looked down, her hands twisting themselves nervously.
A pair of warm, calloused hands engulfed her smaller ones and she felt the steady comfort of his presence sinking into her body. She found herself looking up again to see the silent support in his eyes, the compassion and the patience that told her that he'd wait until she was ready to talk, and he'd listen.
"My mom blamed me for my dad leaving," Felicity said softly. "I think that she needed someone to blame, and that I was the most logical choice because I was so young and couldn't defend myself. So when she drank, she got nasty. Called me all of these names and when that didn't make her feel better she would—she would slap me around. I didn't know better to fight back. I was confused—my dad was suddenly gone and my mom was telling me he wasn't coming back, and that it was all my fault." Oliver's hands tightened around her at that and a hard look appeared on his face, but she didn't notice. Her eyes were too glassy and unfocused and lost in memories from long ago. "By the time I realized what my mom was saying…doing…and how wrong it was, it was too late. Home was hell, and school wasn't much better. Nobody knew about what my mom was doing to me, so they kind of thought that I was just the weird geeky girl who didn't have any friends. My computers were the only safe haven I had, so I spent every spare moment of every day working with them. I knew I wanted to go to college, to escape my mom, and computers were the best shot I had. So I worked hard—worked multiple jobs at crappy restaurants and stores to make enough money for online classes, and was turned down several times for internships. I barely managed to get an internship at the nearby city's tech company needing some IT assistance. Sometimes I don't even know how I got my acceptance letter to MIT. But I didn't care how I got it, it was my ticket out. I packed a bag and never looked back."
They didn't speak after that. There was nothing that needed to be said. She already knew that Oliver was supporting her, telling her silently that he'd be there if she ever wanted to talk again, and that he'd put an arrow in her mom or search the earth to find her father if she asked him to. She thanked him by linking her fingers with his and resting her head against his shoulder. With the solid comfort of Oliver's body and the faint buzz of the television, she found herself slowly being lulled to sleep.
Oliver had already known that Felicity was not as fragile as she seemed. He'd seen what she could do with a computer, and he had no doubt that she could destroy the whole world with her tablet if she wanted to. But it hadn't really occurred to him how she had gotten so strong.
He glanced at her blond head on his shoulder, her body curled to his side and snuggled in the couch. She looked soft and bright and beautiful, and he couldn't even imagine someone capable of harming her. The very idea of her battered and bruised with no one to turn to caused a deep primal rage to bubble deep in his belly and chest, and it took all of his strength to force the urge down, to keep himself soft and comforting for her.
But he understood her strength now. It was one born out of necessity, one to survive, one caused from loneliness. Yet she hadn't turned bitter or dark like he had... he mused, absently stroking a lock of her blonde hair. If anything, it proved how good she was, inside and how. She hadn't even considered trying to get revenge on her mom. She had used her hurt to build herself a life, one that she had struggled and fought for her entire life. The pain was still there, of course. The shadow was still in her eyes, and from what he could tell no one had truly been there for her to take the darkness away.
He wanted to be the one to help her. After all that she had done for her, after all of the darkness that she had pulled from him, it felt only natural that he return the favor.
His phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket, breaking him from his musings abruptly. Annoyed at the interruption of his time with Felicity, he glanced at the screen. Sara. He grimaced. Looking back, it had probably been a bad idea to sleep with her. Like Laurel, there was far too much history and drama for them to sift through to actually have a real, solid relationship.
Besides, his feelings with Sara weren't as strong as they should be for a real relationship. He didn't have that sense of rightness, that sense of feeling light and not weighed down with the burden of his memories and his scars and his playboy and CEO persona. Not like he did with...he glanced down at the sleeping woman before him again.
Felicity was important. And deep down, she was hurting. And he swore to himself that he'd do anything for her to soothe her pain.
He softly pressed a kiss to her head before falling asleep himself, his head resting atop of hers.