I know this is in first person with Kagome but the rest of the story won't be like that. It's kinda hard for me to write like that and I just got lucky with this chapter. please review it. Thanks!!

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Chapter 1

I had always said that seventeen was my lucky number. I had no real reason. I just knew that I would make things happen when I turned that age. I sat in my moms van riding to my piano teachers house. I suddenly felt a tug at my heart. Something is going to happen today…I thought.

"Kagome?" my mother said, bringing my out of my daze. "We're here."

I got out of the car, gathered my books, and walked to the door. My teacher, Marie Tamaki, had me come to the basement, where her pianos were. My little brothers were "sick". I don't think they really were. Anyways, I rang the doorbell and waited. Miss Marie's son, Koga, opened the door.

"ah," he said. "my mom's not here. She had a family emergency thing."

I nodded and started to go back to the car, but mom was gone. Damn, I thought. Forgot my cell.

"Um…" I said getting his attention. "Can I come in? My mom left already and I forgot my cell phone. She'll be back in about an hour."

"Yeah," he said, letting me in.

He walked past me to the stairs, while I sat down on the couch and started to fall asleep. At the time I never had the common sense to ask to use their phone but things change. I don't know how much time passed but before I knew it, Koga was shaking me awake. I woke up but didn't say anything. He picked me up and carried me up the stairs. I just assumed that he was taking me upstairs because my mom was there. I was wrong. He carried me past the door and up the stairs leading to their bedrooms. He knocked on one of the doors.

"I've got her," he said. "come in," said a voice from behind the door.

I recognized the voice but I couldn't remember who it belonged to. Koga opened the door to reveal Inuyasha Taski sitting on the bed. Koga set me down on the floor.

"sorry about this, Kagome," he said.

"what are you talking about?" I asked him.

He stayed silent and walked out of the room. Inuyasha motioned for me to sit down next to him.

"why are you here?" I asked him as I sat down.

"Kagome," he said, moving closer to me. "I know you used to like me. I wanted to know if you still did."

It was true. I did used to like him. I liked him when I was twelve but he made fun of me so I devoted my life to getting revenge. I eventually grew out of that.

"I…I…" I stuttered.

"Hm?" he said.

"y--yes," I finally said. "I do."

I didn't really but I couldn't say anything else. His stare was so intense.

"good," he said before his lips crashed against mine.

I froze. What the hell is he doing?! I thought. I pushed away from him once I recovered my thinking.

"what are you doing?" I said.

"kissing you," he said, simply. "it's what you wanted, isn't it?"

He pushed me down on the bed.

"I'm just giving you what you wanted. I know how you were. I know you wanted me."

"no!" I yelled , struggling.

He growled and pulled a knife off of the night stand.

"don't move," he said, holding the knife to my neck. "I'm going to have you now. No matter how much you struggle, I will have you and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

He tore at my clothes until I was completely naked under him.

"please stop!" I cried, but he wouldn't stop.

He cut me every time I cried or moved. Before he had even started to remove his clothes I was already bleeding badly. My vision started to become blurry.

"please stop," I whispered, though I was sure that he couldn't here me. "some one help me."

I felt him position himself at my entrance before I closed my eyes. I thought that I heard a doorbell before I felt the pain of maidenhood being taken from me. I knew it was over right then. I couldn't move anymore. I wished that I could die. I knew that I would. Then there was a knock at the door. Inuyasha growled, put on his boxers and went to the door. It was Koga. He pointed down the stars. I heard Inuyasha growl again.

"why's he here?" he said, putting back on his cloths, which were stained with my blood.

He went down the stairs with Koga. I could here what they were saying.

"where is Kagome?" asked the man downstairs.

He sounded familiar.

"upstairs," Inuyasha said.

There was silence for a moment.

"what is that on your shirt?" said the man.

It sounded like his voice was shaking.

"It looks like--"

"Blood?" Inuyasha interrupted.

I just knew that Inuyasha was smirking when he said that. Then I heard a gasp and a thud and someone running up the stairs. I hoped and prayed that it wasn't Inuyasha. I got my wish. It was Sesshoumaru. My childhood friend and Inuyasha's cousin.

"Oh, Kagome," he said as he ran over to me.

Nothing else was said as he dressed me in what was left of my clothes and carried me down the stairs. Inuyasha was starting to get up from the floor. I am guess that that sound I heard was Inuyasha being punched. No one tried to stop us as Sesshoumaru carried me out of the door, though I could feel Inuyasha's eyes burning into my back. Sesshoumaru put me in the back of his car and drove off.

He drove me to his apartment. He got me out of the car and carefully ran me up to the second floor. He didn't want anyone to see us and get the wrong idea. He opened his door and set my down on his couch. He went to, what I assumed was, the bathroom. I could hear bath water running. After a while he came and carried me to the bathroom and removed my clothes. He placed me in the bathtub, the water turning pick from my blood. Tears started to run down my cheeks.

"Kagome?" he said gently. "does it hurt anywhere?"

I shook my head. Nothing on my body hurt, aside from the unfamiliar ache between my legs. I was crying because he was here, caring for me. When I was six going-on seven year old I used to be home school at his house. Our mothers were best friends. I was just a little girl but I fell in love with him. He was in love with me too, or so he said, and we explored that. To put it bluntly, he was the one who took my innocence.. Sure I was still a virgin, technically, but he was the one who gave me my first kiss and was the only boy that ever touched me in an intimate way. The next school year I was home schooled at home. We still saw each other on holidays but we started to grow apart. We stopped talking after a while and I had to keep my feelings a secret. I started going to school with him again when I was twelve years old. I seemed that he had forgot about everything. My little brother knew though, thanks to my big mouth. He re-told Sesshoumaru about my feelings. He laughed. I didn't talk to him again until I turn seventeen, which was six months ago. Now here he was. Washing my blood and now impure body. He finished washing me and then dried me off and dressed me in a shirt of his. He laid me back down on the couch and tears started flow again.

"Do you hurt anywhere?" he said again, worry marring his perfect face and flawless voice. I grabbed his hands.

"Here," I said placing one of his hands over my heart. "and here," I said, placing his other hand over that part of me.

"What?" he said, shocked and frozen.

"My heart hurts because I was betrayed by someone I used to have feelings for and because I am being cared for by you," I said. "It hurts here because something I was saving for the one I love was taken from me by a person I used to trust."

"The one you love?" he said. "Who is that?"

I smiled. He was the same old, dense, stupid, Sesshoumaru.

"Figure it out," I said.

I couldn't believe that after all these years he still didn't get it.

"Is it me?" he asked.

I could have screamed. He was so stupid.

"Of course, you idiot," I said. "Who else could it be?"

He backed away from me slowly.

"Forget about me," he said. "I can't return you feelings."

He turned away from me and walked towards the kitchen. Though I knew that he couldn't see me, I smiled sadly as the tears started to fall again.

"I knew it," I whispered.

We didn't talk for the rest of the night. He had called my mom to tell her that I was staying at his house for a few days, which we often did. He didn't want to tell her that her only daughter had lost her virginity due to rape. He fed me something that was close to soup and the placed me in his bed to sleep for the night. As soon as he left I started crying again. How could he be so kind to me? How could he just ignore my feelings like that? I couldn't think of anything but that. The fact the I was raped barely even mattered now. I only thought of him as I cried myself to sleep.

The next morning he left me alone. It was Tuesday. He had to work. I would be by myself for about five hours. I spent my time watching TV and eating the food he had left for me. Before I knew it, four and a half hours had passed. I couldn't take it anymore. I tried to forget about it but I couldn't. I had had my heart and my body broken in one day. I walked in to kitchen and searched. I searched for that one item that would give me release. I searched for a blade. It didn't matter what kind. I searched through drawers and cabinets until I found a small vegetable knife. Small but sharp. I walked into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the bathtub. I slid the knife slowly across my wrist. Blood poured out of the seemingly shallow wound. Tear flowed too. I hated my body. He'll never want me now, I thought. I heard the front door open and heard Sesshoumaru calling my name. I couldn't answer him. I felt so filthy. I could still feel his hands on me. I wanted it to stop. I screamed. Sesshoumaru came running in seconds later. Without saying anything he pulled me into a strong, protective, hug.

"I'm so sorry," he said.

He sounded like he was crying as well. That hurt more than any cut. He was crying over me. I put my arms around him and cried into his chest. Moments later, he pulled away, bandaged my wrist, and took my to his room and laid me on his bed. I expected him to leave but he got in with me.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"I'm sorry, Kagome," he said. "I thought that you were just reacting to the shock when you told me your feelings. I didn't know that it would drive you too this. It's all my fault. I should have never left you alone."

"No!" I said, grabbing his face. "You didn't cause this. I was being foolish. I just…lost it. But don't ever think that this was your fault."

I could think anymore. Only one thing came to me. My heart screamed: kiss him. And that's what I did. The second my lips found his I felt an unfamiliar jolt in the pit of my stomach. When I felt his tongue brush against my lips, the feeling got stronger. I froze. It hurt. He must have sensed my distress because he pulled away seconds later.

"What's wrong?" he asked me.

"I feel weird," I said.

"Where?" he asked.

I blushed and he seemed to know what I was talking about because his face reddened as well. "pains of lust," he said. I could feel my face getting hotter. I couldn't believe what I said next.

"Sesshoumaru," I said, my voice barely a whisper. "when I get better, will you have me?"

His eyes widened as he took in my words.

"You mean…" he trailed off.

"I love you Sesshoumaru," I said. "I want to be with you. I have for over ten years."

Sesshoumaru grabbed my face and placed a gentle kiss on my lips.

"I love you too, Kagome," he said. "When you are strong again I will do anything you want. No matter what."

I was so happy. We spent the rest of the night in each others arms, whispering words of love to each other. I wished that that moment could have lasted forever, but you can't always get what you wish for.

I stayed with Sesshoumaru until my wounds healed. Two weeks. My parents weren't worried. We just told them that we were going to spend a month in Hokkaido. They trusted him with me. Of course we weren't really in Hokkaido. Sesshoumaru worked five days a week. I waited for him every day. We had yet to have an intimate night and I was starting to grow somewhat impatient. Three weeks after I had had arrived there, there was a knock at the door. Sesshoumaru said to me to never open the door and he wouldn't be back for about an hour, I guess I just wasn't thinking, because I opened it. It was the one person I never wished to see, hear, or even think about. It was the person whose name mane my blood run cold.

"Inuyasha…" I gasped.

He pushed me out of the way, knocking me on the floor, closed the door, and locked it. Before I knew it, he had me pinned against the door by my neck.

"You called him there, didn't you? You little whore," he growled.

"No! I didn't!" I gasped.

I wasn't lying. My mom had called him. She was to busy to pick me up that day. Inuyasha slapped me across the face.

"I WILL finish what I started," he said. "He's not here to protect you."

He threw me on the floor, got on top of me and started to tear at my clothes. I knew that Sesshoumaru couldn't possibly help me this time. There was no way. I just knew that this was it for me. Then the door opened. Sesshoumaru was standing in the doorway. Without saying anything he pulled Inuyasha off of me and threw him out of our three story window. I never saw him again. Sesshoumaru took me to his room and set me down on the bed, straitening my clothing.

"Why did you open the door?" he asked me.

"I don't know," I said, my head down.

"Clearly," he said, making me jump. "I came home early so that we could…but now I don't know about that."

"no!" I cried. "I can't take it anymore. Please take me now!"

Sesshoumaru cupped my chin and slowly moved his lips toward mine. But then I heard someone clear their throat. I opened my eyes and found myself back at Mrs. Marie's basement, still lying on the couch. It was all a dream. I was happy and sad at the same time. I heard someone clear their throat again. I looked up.

"K-Koga!" I gasped, startled.

"Your mom is here," he said.

"Oh, okay." I whispered. I followed him up the stairs and, sure enough, my mom was waiting be the door.

"How was practice?" my mom asked as we were driving home.

"Um…fine," I answered. "Mrs. Marie wasn't there so I just slept."

"Oh. That's nice," mom said. "Oh, and by the way, Sesshoumaru called. He won a free trip to Hokkaido and wants to take you with him."

I smiled. I had always said that seventeen was my lucky number. Now it was time for me to make it true and not just a dream. On the radio Sonatina in G was playing. I smiled again.

"I love this song," I said to my mom.