AUTHORS NOTE: This story has a lot of spoilers pertaining to Dragon Age: Inquisition. Please do NOT read unless you have played through the main quests. I really recommend that you finish the game so that nothing is spoiled. That, and I know the story is short but this is my very first try at writing fan fiction, so I would really appreciate feedback! Thank you and I hope you like it. :)
She woke with a start.
Sitting straight up in her bed, dazed and breathing sporadically.
She gulped down air like her lungs had not been filled in years.
The only light in the large stone room was the dim glow of the moon coming from the partially opened balcony window.
A cold breeze whipped around her and she shivered.
MAKER she was sweating.
Frantically, she reached for something - anything -
She grabbed her pillow and clutched it tightly to her chest.
Burying her head into the soft material, she began to sob.
The nightmare flashed through her mind.
-The townsfolk and soldiers of Haven being set aflame. Trying to get away but crying in agony as their legs turned to sand, then their bodies to ash.
The ash carrying off into warped visions of red lyrium formations cluttering Skyhold.
Somewhere she heard the deep, chilling laugh that she knew belonged to him. That foul creature.
She tried to scream but all that escaped her lips were hushed whispers, voices which were not her own.
She saw her friends and family laying dead among a battlefield. Their glazed eyes all met her own, a look of fear and helplessness frozen on their faces.
And Cullen...her Cullen. She saw him chained to the ground in some dark prison cell. His screams shattered her heart. Empty vials of lyrium surrounded his thrashing body. His eyes were bulging and rimmed red. He was in so much pain. And he was looking right at her, pleading she do SOMETHING. She tried to reach but was too far away and was forced to watch his body dissolve into nothing. The image forever embedded in her memory.
It was all her fault.
Suddenly, her vision became a kaleidoscope of whirling colors.
A hushed whisper added to the chaos, but it quickly grew into multiple screams and cries, ones she recognized. And then the shrieks of demons interlaced to make a mind numbing noise.
She covered her ears trying to stop the awful sound.
So loud, too loud. It was maddening.
Until everything stopped completely.
Silence
Darkness.
A clear image faded from black.
It was Hawke.
Her flesh had chipped and peeled from her face, leaving traces of bone and meat in plain view.
The skin that was left was occupied by sickly black veins.
Her teeth were rotted and black goo festered inside her mouth.
But worst of all were her eyes. Where a pair of sparkling ice blue orbs once sat, there were now glazed, gray splotches with no pupils in their place.
Face to face, the Inquisitor could see the Champions lips moving, but there was no sound.
"What? What are you saying?" Trevelyan asked, her voice wavering.
She strained to hear. It was faint at first, but when she finally realized what Hawke was chanting, she crumbled under her own weak knees.
She looked up at the Champion who was now hovering just above her face yelling, the words hitting her like a brick:
"You left me.
You left me.
You left me.
You left me."
The Inquisitor begged for forgiveness looking at the sad shell of the hero that was left.
Then, Hawke smiled - a terrifying and sinister grin - and her skin melted off, leaving only a ghoulish skeleton.-
"Shit." The word barely a whisper escaped from her throat.
She'd had nightmares since the Conclave explosion, in fact they were becoming sort of a normal occurrence. But this one...this one had been the worst.
She tucked her knees to her chest, the now drenched pillow sandwiched in the middle, and began to rock herself in an attempt to calm her mind.
~whoosh~
Her head snapped up to see the husk of a young man sitting at the foot of her bed. He was looking up at her through stringy, blonde hair that plastered to his face underneath his floppy hat. His eyebrows knit in worry as they made eye contact.
Cole.
She pulled her knees closer, embarrassed.
"Cole...It's Okay. It was just a nightmare. You don't have to be here." She said in the strongest voice she could muster, though it still was broken and weak.
She knew she looked a mess and the last thing she wanted was one of her friends seeing her so... vulnerable.
"One of her friends" she thought.
Cole had been a part of her inner circle for months now, but she still didn't know what to call their relationship. Sure, they were more than friendly acquaintances, he had joined her on many of her quests around Thedas. Andraste's tits, they had been back-to-back in battle more times than she could count. She obviously trusted him.
Most recently, Varric, Solas, and herself had helped Cole try to come to terms with his past. The original purpose of the mission was to protect Cole so he couldn't be binded by enemies and turned into a demon. In the end, it resulted in Cole becoming more like a spirit and less human.
Oddly enough, since the mission he seemed... happier in a way. He talked much more to people in Skyhold and seemed friendlier to the other companions. Even so, Trevelyan still wasn't sure if he considered them close and had felt no need to push the question.
"Horror. Images of what is to come, or what is feared to come. Haunting faces, memories. Regretful decisions. Not fast enough, couldn't save enough.
Can't let them see. Shadows of doubt creep into the mind."
His words filled the room and lifted her from her thoughts. Husky with a whisper overlaying his young voice, the sound was like a memory. It was eerie, but at the same time it soothed her.
She felt reluctant tears fall down her cheeks and her body relaxed.
"You cannot live with regrets of your decisions. Haven was not caused by you. Neither was Hawke's death. Inevitable. It is not. Your. Fault." He spoke quickly and sternly.
His hand gently grasped her wrist.
A slight pressure, cold yet comforting to her. His thumb lightly rubbed small circles on her skin. Her brother used to do the same when she had nightmares growing up.
"Families hugging, sobbing, laughing. Brought together by one. By you. Rescued from death.
New beginnings. A better world is being made from your choices.
You are the leader they need. They want. Someone to follow.
You should not worry.
You are...good." He finished in a hopeful whisper.
With that last sentence, she felt herself let go. The walls she had built to keep in her emotions for the last year came crumbling down until all that was left was raw and exposed pain.
Slowly, her tears came to an end. His hand had never let go of her. She looked up at him through bleary eyes and gave a small smile.
"Thank you, Cole. I...appreciate your help." She said keeping her voice as level as possible. She knew she would forget this moment soon, he would make sure of that. She needed him to know that she was grateful.
His grip tightened slightly, then let go as if he were never there.
He appeared by the open window.
And after a short silence, she heard him say:
"You helped me.
So I will always try to help you.
Friend."
She smiled and realized that it was a genuine grin.
The pain in her chest dulled as his words replaced her fear and regret with a new hope.
The last thing she could remember was a barely audible whisper telling her to sleep.