Chapter 1

"Nuzlocke!"

A light began to shine as the young child's eyes opened.

"Wait who the heck is narrating and where the hell am I?" The child questioned looking around.

"HELLO!" The child is quickly startled as the sudden appearance of an old man in lab coat appears.

"Holy shit where did you come from and why is it completely pitch black every except around you? It's as if there is some ominous other worldly light raining down upon you. Is this a dream? Am I dreaming?" The child questioned.

"My name is Professor Oak."

"Ok way to just by pass all my questions." Professor Oak then pulls out a poke ball and out pops a light blue Nidoran.

"And this a Pokémon."

"Ugh...yeah no shit Professor, my mom has like three Lickitungs and a Machamp stashed away in her top dresser with a number of magazines featuring Professor Will and don't even get me started on the shrine she has reserved for that ass hole Brock."

"Now before we begin are you a boy or girl?"

"Ok wow you're not even fazed the slightest by what I just said. I'm starting to get the feeling you're not even listening to me."

"Are you a boy or a girl?" The professor asked once more.

"Sigh...actually now that I think about what am I?" The child began to pat their chest multiple times. "Well I'm either a boy or some weeb's waifu. Only one real way to find out." The child slowly began to slide their hand down their pants until finally. "Yep I'm a dude."

"Excellent, not what I preferred but beggars can't be choosers."

"Wait what?"

"Now tell me what's your name." The professor asked.

"You know I'm starting to get real concerned around you. The name is um...um...t-Tim...O'thy?"

"Great Tim O'thy your adventure in the Pokémon world is about to unfold. Now just one last part this is my grandson. I can't quite remember his name could you tell me what it is?"

"Wait you want me to name your grandson?"

"He's your rival and I need to know his name." The professor responded.

"Oh my gosh I've never felt so happy before in my life."

...

"Ah yes now I remember thank you."

"No thank you." Tim insists giggling.

"Now Tim it's time to wake up."

"Huh?" Tim looks over to see the professor with a gun pointing between his eyes.

"Wakey wakey eggs and bacy!" The professor calls out with a bang.

Tim wakes up startled and sweating. His alarm ringing out next to him. "Huh...huh...the fuck was that?"

"Happy birthday Sweetie!" Tim's mother cheered bringing him a small cupcake with a single lit candle on it.

"Oh yay, another lifeless party with a single cupcake to show how much the universe hates me."

"Now, now sweetie you turn ten today. By all legal standards you're adult which means you need to hurry up and eat your cake so you can go find a job and provide for me unlike your father who left u-uh died. Yep your father's dead." She quickly catches herself. "And it's all your fault she whispers." under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Oh nothing, any who professor oak has invited you over to his lab. He says he has a gift for you. so hurry up and eat so you can head on over there." She tells him running up to her bed room. Tim just sits there staring at his small, warm, scrumptious cupcake.

"Oh god I must eat it." Tim devours the cake in one bite. as he chews his body loosens up and he slides down his chair. "Oh yeah strawberry."

Professor Oak's Lab

"Why hello there Tim!" Professor Oak shouted across the lab.

"You know the lab looks close to the same size as my house from the outside. I would never have guessed there was such a massive lab in here." Tim spoke informing the professor about his observation.

"Yes it's quite roomy isn't it?" Oak responded guiding Tim over to one of his tables. That's when Tim notices a section of the lab being used as a green house for a large quantity of green herb looking plants.

"Hey professor what kind of berries do those plants sprout?" Tim inquires.

"Only the best kind, I'm talking 500 Zeni per Poke-Block." He proudly responds pounding his fist into his palm.

"Wow, what's does it do?"

"Fucks your mind up so much you'd think rice balls are jelly filled donuts." The Professor claims with both hands on his shoulders

"Holy shit! Can I get some?" Tim begs.

"Of course not, this product is only for the elite of the world, and you're just some snot nose brat who's mom I've banged." Oak savagely shoots down. "Now here's a Pokémon I don't know what it is but happy birthday etc. etc. Now get the fuck out I got clients to take care of." Oak orders as an obvious druggy stumbles into the lab.

"H-hey y'all I-I'm looking for Professor Oaks-burb-enberg."

"Gosh damn it Larry I told you not to come in where I work!" Oak screams trying to shove him out.

"YO GRAMPS!" Another voice shouts. Everyone looks over to see Oak's grandson storm into the lab.

'UGH...not this little twerp.' Oak thinks to himself face palming.

"Not now you little shit can't you see I'm busy." Oak struggles to speak as he wrestles Larry the druggy to the ground.

"I want my drugs." Larry groaned.

"You're not getting shit; you still owe me from the last batch." Oak quickly fired back sedating Larry.

"What's this I hear about you giving this little turd a Pokémon?" The grandson interrupts.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa who you calling little I'm two inches taller then you?"

"Shut it queefer before I pound ya into submission with my Pokémans."

"I'm sorry sir but you are extremely violent, who do you think you are?"

"Me? Why I'm the grandson of the great Oaksenberg, and future Pokémon champion...I HAVE AIDS! At your service!" He proudly tells him only for Tim to snicker and giggle. "Enough it's time to battle go Pokémans!" AIDs declares tossing out his pokeball.

"Sure what'evs I prefer to fight anyway go Pokémon!" Tim responds.

Out from Tim's pokeball was a cute little LV 1 Bulbasaur. With its little plant on its back and a happy smile of cuteness. "OMG that's so cute." Tim smiled. "I think I'll name you Bulby. We'll go on so many adventures and have so much fun."While unfortunately coming out of I HAVE AIDS's pokeball was a LV 15 Scyther. It's blades reflecting the light of the lab. "Oh?! Well fuck...um go Bulby use...um tackle."

"Bulba." The Pokémon nodded.

"Scyther go! Use Cut!" I HAVE AIDS quickly ordered. Then with what seemed to be hyper speed reflexes his Scyther quickly began to cut and slice the poor Bulbasaur to shreds as it screeched in terror.

"Oh damn!" Tim flinched as a rush of memories and a possible future the two could have had flashed before his eyes. From when he first opened the pokeball through the various evolutions to even winning the championship. The possible life continued on to where they married and had kids then die next to each other in the hospital. It's until the blood of his first and only friend/pokemon is splashed across his face snapping him back into reality.

(Innocence Terminated!)

"Haha! You loser did you really think I would lose to somebody as puny as you. Bwahahaha!" Aids chuckled and laughed not paying attention to Tim who's unplugging a monitor from a desk.

WHAM! I HAVE AIDS is suddenly knocked unconscious as computer monitor is smashed against his head.

"Oh no I HAVE AIDS has blacked out. Looks like I win." Tim calmly pats the dirt off his hands and walks over taking the money out of his opponent's wallet.

"Damn that's some gangsta shit right there." Oak points out.

"Yeah well I'm out of here. I'm done with this shitty three house town. Oak tell my mom I'm going off to the store and I'll be back later. She'll know what it means." Tim tells him walking out. A few ours later AIDS wakes up to see his running shoes are gone, his wallet empty, pokedex broken and one of his pokeballs missing.

"Da fucks my shit at?"

With Tim's journey to escape his pointless hate filled life underway. The world of Pokémon is ready to unfold for our little hero who on his tenth birthday was traumatized turning him from a little bitch into a protagonist. Welcome to Nuzlocke! To be continued...