A/n: YAY! An angst fic! *dances around* -.- though I'm not sure that's something I should be happy about. This is the result of me forcing myself to reread the whole part from where Elliot figures everything out, till the new chapter, with tear blurred eyes. It was a sob fest at the end. Anyways, I'm not sure what to think of this one... but I might post this one for the 'OfWithHisHead' contest instead of the other one, for the same theme - Discovery . I wanted to write it for haunted memories, but I think it works better for discovery... please review and give me your thoughts on the matter ^.^ Thanks~!

Everything and anything….

If he tried to hold onto anything, it would always disappear.

Always.

And it had to have been his fault – what else could it have been?

Nothing was permanent, nothing stayed.

It never had and it never would.

That was what he had learned in his short life span.

Something he knew well.

Something he SHOULD have remembered.

Everything always vanished.

Stay.

First, had gone his father, the man he hardly remembered now, nothing more than a wishful word on his lips, a dream that lay broken and out of his reach.

Please stay.

Then there had been his mother- she had always taken care of him, protected him in her own way… but he couldn't help but think that she was embarrassed of him. Him and his voices and lights and madness. That darkness within his mind. And she hadn't stayed either. She had been the second to go.

Another shattered dream.

And so he had thrown himself into his world of books – something that he could always return to no matter what. Something that would always be there if he needed it. He hid there, for it had been something stable, and safe that distracted him from what he feared was his own insanity. There was his solace, his one thing to cling to in a world he refused to see.

And then there had been Elliot.

The one he hadn't wanted to know, the one he didn't want to face. It was almost as if as soon as he had seen him, he had known. Known that he would be the next one, the next thing. The next one to be grown attached to.

Please Don't.

So he tried to chase him away, with his snide comments and harsh attitude, tried to make him disappear and leave him alone, to his books, and his own company.

It had been all for his own good.

But Elliot offered him what he wanted, with just a simple piece on the piano, the melody continuously roaring in his heart, as the meaning coursed through him. Something that never changed.

Don't.

He had taken his greatest desire and waved it like a flag in his face, just begging him to give in.

But he couldn't. He couldn't let this happen again.

It was for HIS sake!

Yet selfish want overtook heroism, the craving for a companion over taking his good intentions.

Just don't.

And so he was plunged into a world he hadn't known existed beyond the covers of novels – of light, laughter and smiles. He didn't have to worry that he might be different or strange, not with Elliot at his side. They were nothing more than two equals, two boys enjoying life, two extremely close friends. Life was full of Sunshine filtering through leaves, and warm breezes passing him by, all the while by the side of the person he trusted most, needed the most.

Stay.

He wasn't sure what to do, when he realized it was cracked. Perhaps he was the one cracking. The one loosing himself.

Please.

Yet, again his selfish need kept him there, at his saviors side.

Don't…

But this time it wasn't a dream or wish that shattered to pieces before him – it was his world. It fell around him in sparkling, bright shards, tainted with the claret red blood that was his friend's – his precious one's – life essence.

Don't leave me.

In that moment as the blood stained his gloves, that face bled into his memory, he knew it was all over.

I beg of you – don't leave me.

He sobbed without shame over that unmoving body, those blank eyes, that stained and corrupted figure.

Why couldn't you have stayed?

He knew it was his fault.

It always had been.

He had been selfish, ignorant, stupid. Horrible.

Disillusioned.

Nothing stays.

Very disillusioned.

Ever.

Because they had all been wrong.

Memories.

Statice had never been something unchanging. That was something impossible. Something deemed never to happen.

I'll remember.

It hadn't been the promise of forever that Elliot had so innocently propositioned to him.

Remember.

Instead it had been a curse, disguised as a blessing.

Remember.

For although statice's meaning was indeed something that couldn't change.

It was nothing more than-

Rememberance.

Remember.

He wouldn't forget.

A/n: Oh goodness... I've been wanting to use that ending forever. Literately. Ever since I wrote my first Leo angst fic. Because, after some reasearch, I found out that in the language of flowers, Statice, or Sea Lavender stands for Remeberance rather than 'Something unchanging', which I find quite.. fitting. So put bluntly, in the story, Leo is trying to find something stable, something that will save him, but life just isn't fair. :P Anyhow, review, and tell me what you think! Thank you for reading!