The Final Fantasy Opera House
Act One: FF7: Romeo and Juliet
By The Cinnamon Chaos
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cast: Tifa/Juliet; Barret/Romeo; Cid/Capulet; Yuffie/Hamlet; Cloud/Ophelia
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tifa: (on a balcony) Romeo! Romeo! Where the fuck are ya Romeo?
Barret:(in the street) I'm down here bitch.
Tifa: Oh well what the hell are you doing down there you fucking pissant! You gotta come up here
so I can lick yer balls before my goddamn dad gets home from the whorehouse!
Barret: Fuck off bitch. I'm kinda busy!
Tifa: Romeo! Romeo! What the fuck are ya trying to tell me Romeo? Are you trying to tell me that
yer not coming up here? Well what the fuck's wrong with you?
Barret: I'm sick of all yer goddamn royalty shit! I thought this love would last forever through thick
and thin!
Tifa: That wasn't part of the deal! I said we'd last forever, through think and thin, as long as you
pay me the goddamn two grand each time I have to suck your disgusting dick!
Barret: Oh. Well goddammit!
Yuffie: (floating in the middle of the air) To be or not to be? I forgot the question!
Tifa: Wrong play fuck face.
Yuffie: Hmm..... So that means that Ophelia........
Cloud: (plunges into a raging river) WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Yuffie: Oh well. (Starts eating a cheeseburger)
Cid: (walking down the street) Ah! But alas! The day has finally come when my beloved daughter
shall betray me for this swine she thinks that she loves! I will not allow this daughter! No daughter
of mine will marry a hippie!
Tifa: Fuck off dad. He's disgusting as hell. He pays me two grand a blow. Now why don't you just
go whack off to those fucking pornos you just bought.
Cid: Kay. (Walks inside)
Tifa: Now where the hell was I?
Barret: Alas! The sun rises in the west, and Juliet is my son!
Tifa: Romeo, you've been smoking pot again haven't you?
Barret: Sure thing! ;)!
Tifa: You fucking stoner!
Barret: Ah! Do my eyes deceive me, or do I see a Valium?
(Barret grabs what he thinks is a Valium, but is actually a stray knife, of course he can't tell because
he is fucking baked, and shoves it down his throat)
Tifa: You fuckin' moron!
Barret: Cough cough. I... cough..... *dies*
Tifa: Oh what a cruel fate! My love has been stolen from me! Ah who am I kiddin? So long sucka!
(Grabs Yuffie by the arm and pulls her inside bedroom) Come here.... lick my tits bitch....
Yuffie: Kay.
Act One: FF7: Romeo and Juliet
By The Cinnamon Chaos
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cast: Tifa/Juliet; Barret/Romeo; Cid/Capulet; Yuffie/Hamlet; Cloud/Ophelia
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tifa: (on a balcony) Romeo! Romeo! Where the fuck are ya Romeo?
Barret:(in the street) I'm down here bitch.
Tifa: Oh well what the hell are you doing down there you fucking pissant! You gotta come up here
so I can lick yer balls before my goddamn dad gets home from the whorehouse!
Barret: Fuck off bitch. I'm kinda busy!
Tifa: Romeo! Romeo! What the fuck are ya trying to tell me Romeo? Are you trying to tell me that
yer not coming up here? Well what the fuck's wrong with you?
Barret: I'm sick of all yer goddamn royalty shit! I thought this love would last forever through thick
and thin!
Tifa: That wasn't part of the deal! I said we'd last forever, through think and thin, as long as you
pay me the goddamn two grand each time I have to suck your disgusting dick!
Barret: Oh. Well goddammit!
Yuffie: (floating in the middle of the air) To be or not to be? I forgot the question!
Tifa: Wrong play fuck face.
Yuffie: Hmm..... So that means that Ophelia........
Cloud: (plunges into a raging river) WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Yuffie: Oh well. (Starts eating a cheeseburger)
Cid: (walking down the street) Ah! But alas! The day has finally come when my beloved daughter
shall betray me for this swine she thinks that she loves! I will not allow this daughter! No daughter
of mine will marry a hippie!
Tifa: Fuck off dad. He's disgusting as hell. He pays me two grand a blow. Now why don't you just
go whack off to those fucking pornos you just bought.
Cid: Kay. (Walks inside)
Tifa: Now where the hell was I?
Barret: Alas! The sun rises in the west, and Juliet is my son!
Tifa: Romeo, you've been smoking pot again haven't you?
Barret: Sure thing! ;)!
Tifa: You fucking stoner!
Barret: Ah! Do my eyes deceive me, or do I see a Valium?
(Barret grabs what he thinks is a Valium, but is actually a stray knife, of course he can't tell because
he is fucking baked, and shoves it down his throat)
Tifa: You fuckin' moron!
Barret: Cough cough. I... cough..... *dies*
Tifa: Oh what a cruel fate! My love has been stolen from me! Ah who am I kiddin? So long sucka!
(Grabs Yuffie by the arm and pulls her inside bedroom) Come here.... lick my tits bitch....
Yuffie: Kay.