From the Ashes

Author's Note: This is canon folks...but don't worry, this is canon from the super secret clip you see if you earn the perfect ending. Naturally this is full of spoilers but you are probably like me and played the game and needed something far more fulfilling than what we were left with. Please enjoy and bear with the inevitable grammar and spelling mistakes...I kind of did this in a few hours as a kind of catharsis. More chapters likely to follow.

"Choose."

An emotionless voice shaped by the lips of a little boy...a lie. Everything up until this point based on some form of mad calculus by a machine. Even the geth knew better than that. And after years of struggling, the deaths of billions, loss heaped upon loss, Shepard stood at the precipice left with woefully inadequate choices. Destroy. Control. Merge. Destruction meant the loss of those she had loved and fought to save. The geth and EDI deserved more. Control was an illusion and no creature should ever wield the Reapers. Not even herself. This left merging...synthisis...a complete unknown with unknown consequences. But this was the only option that allowed everyone to live and still end the shadow of the Reapers forever.

Blood pooled at Shepard's feet as she wearily stared at the various beams of light before her. Choices to change the galaxy forever and she was struggling just to remain conscious. Her body was long past destruction and will alone kept it together long enough for this one last task. It was a miracle that her brutalized body had even stood again after the initial hit. Her flesh was reduced to a mass of burns, lacerations, broken bones, and blood.

The machine droned on prompting her but Shapard closed her eyes to it. It was just so certain it was right, her brief conversation with it had confirmed this. There was no convincing it, as there had been no hope of convincing the Illusive Man. For all that the Catalyst mocked him, they had a hell of a lot in common that way.

Shapard staggered a few steps forward, her muscles shredding and screaming in protest. A ragged breath was drawn through bloody lips and a collapsed lung. Was this how Thane felt in the end? Her vision swam before her as she forced her body forward remembering all those who had touched her, motivated her, inspired her...all those that she loved enough to make this sacrifice. No illusions, no matter the choice; her flesh was even beyond Cerberus' capabilities. So she had to make sure she did this right. No third chances. No way to make up for failures.

More dragging steps forward and she felt something inside snap. No matter, the blood loss was nicely numbing her body...sparing her from further agony. Not much time left now. The gun dropped from listless fingers...all strength was pooled to the almost impossible task of moving forward.

Shepard's vision winked in and out, her body shook threatening to break completely. Just a little more...a face swam before her eyes...the most beloved face she had ever known. Piercing, intelligent blue eyes...fluttering mandibles...an intensely tender expression even readable in such a foreign face. Shapard's heart clenched and tears mixed with blood. 'You're strong enough now...stronger than even me...I'll watch you move mountains while waiting at the bar...' Her mind dazedly wandered to all the precious moments she had been allowed to share with him in this desperate journey. His love, his triumphs, his passion, his kindness, his ferocity. She clung to those sweet moments using them as the last propulsion to force her body the last few running steps. 'For you...live and rebuild...show the world what you're capable of Vakarian...don't let those memories die...I'll always be waiting...only for you...'

Green light exploded around her as she tumbled into the beam. All sensation fell away except the wash of probing light and energy. She felt herself fading away...being pulled apart somehow, almost likes someone was opening her up and taking pieces away. Memories of her beloved crew drifted past eyes becoming laconic. All of her triumphs and agonies, joys and losses...her love...bigger than anything she had ever known in the galaxy. They filled her and then spilled outside of her into the light.

Shepard smiled holding close to her heart her most precious image, girding herself against the quiet blackness and stillness she was receding into.

"Damn it, Joker! Land!" Garrus yelled gripping the back of the leather seat hard enough to rend. Joker flinched but kept the controls steady.

"I can't! I can't break through the Reaper line! We'll all die trying!"

"Shepard is on the Citadel all alone! We have to get her out of there!" Garrus practically shook with tension...the only thing that prevented him from completely loosing control...completely giving into the terror building inside of him. "I couldn't get to her...but that last beam...she was...she was..." His voice shook too badly for him to continue, his throat constricted painfully. The sight of her broken and bloody body limping into that transportation beam...all alone. Garrus shook his head, he would not allow her to finish this alone. He would not let her leave him like this. A bar in heaven was not good enough! If this is what the war had come down to then she wouldn't face it alone.

"I know! Don't you think I know, Garrus?" Joker practically wailed from the console. "I can't reach her and she could be up there dying all by herself!" Joker swallowed heavily a few times then his voice steadied with determination. "But I promised her that we would be there waiting for her when this is over. I promised that she wouldn't come back to a dead crew." Garrus' mandibles flared and he spun around ready to steal the cruiser even if it was a horribly foolish thing to do. Panic and pain seared through all logic...the image of her...how close to death she seemed...wouldn't give sway to anything else. His movement was sharply jarred by a sudden jolt through the cockpit. The Normandy heaved again and this time sent him sprawling to the floor. Garrus quickly got to his feet again and his eyes flew towards the completed Crucible looming in the distance. Ships flitted around it shooting pale shots of light at the menacing Reapers. A sharp burst of green illumination filled the open arms of the Citadel and everything seemed to still on the battlefield. The light brimmed over and spilled forcefully out into the yawning void of space. It felt as if an explosion rocked throughout the area and the Normandy groaned in protest.

"Shepard..." A whisper from Joker echoed by a scream in Garrus' heart. More waves of light and explosions burst forward and before any protest could be launched, Joker was expertly disengaging the Normandy from the onslaught and heading with reckless speed towards the Mass Effect Relay. Words and action escaped Garrus as the the Normandy was thrown about in the tide of explosions. Garrus held on but felt a part of himself being ripped away as they fled the explosions of where his heart was. All the sweet dreams he had privately nursed where no one could laugh at the hardened Vigilante's naive hopes were shredded before his eyes. Dreams of spiriting Shepard away somewhere warm and being able to keep her all to himself. Being able to laugh with her and share more of the wonderful differences between their species. Even having fun thinking of children even if it was impossible...all of it gone...all light and joy stolen. There had only been duty and coldness before Shepard. Then she had burst into his life full of fire and passion, and an irresistible 'damn the consequences' smile that had him helplessly enamored from the beginning. Shepard had shown him his strength, his own fire. She had shown him impossible love and joy. Without her was the cold void as cruel and merciless as space itself.

More explosions had the ship almost screaming. Joker was shouting but Garrus couldn't hear it above the commotion. Then, Normandy began to slow even as she bitterly tried to pull forward. Garrus felt it then, they were being caught in the implosive aftershocks so common in space warfare. The ship started to give way, losing the desperate battle to break free. Garrus' eyes closed and he hoped they had good Turian wine to share with Shepard in heaven. His wrenching heart welcomed the promise of release. The Normandy cried out one last time and then was ripped forcefully backward tumbling wildly into the green light.

Joker was the first to stumble out into the lush vibrance of the vegitation. Wonder colored his green tinted eyes as he limped out further studying the beauty of the world surrounding him. With a slightly foolish grin, Joker turned and held out a hand to EDI who hovered just instead the hatch. EDI took it with a hint of amusement at the gesture and stepped out. The sun set off a green sheen to her metalic skin. Joker stood staring at the horizon dipped in gentle hues of lavander and blue dumbly; still in shock about survival. EDI pressed up against him and he obligingly wrapped an arm around her.

The rest of the crew slipped out next, all amazed and subdued by the beauty of the world surrounding them and drunk on the realization that life was secured for all the surviving beings. Reports flooded the comm links of the Reaper's disappearance. Shepard had prevailed.

Garrus slipped out last and numbly surveyed the landscape searching for threats and ideal positioning as all good Turians had been trained to do since they could walk. There was nothing left inside him and he welcomed the oblivion. The hell of existence when the shock wore off with be unbearable. He desperately focused on scanning for resources, shelter, anything at all to keep his mind from what lay behind him. His scanner impersonally listed environmental details, registered the heartbeats of his comrades, noted the wind velocity, and flashed a small warning regarding the smoke coming off of the battered Normandy. He stared at a plume of smoke in the distance absently for a full minute before registering the strangeness of it. Then life around him sharply pulled back into focus with all the subtlety of a Krogan stampede. All sensation slammed into his chest. All the pain, the loss, the bittersweet joy of victory and the emptiness left in its wake. His mind finally stopped tuning out the mindless chatter on his comm link and words started to make sense again.

"...yea...that's where the remains of the Citadel fell." An unknown soldier's voice intoned.

"Confirmed. Evidence of the wreckage appears to be within three miles of the crash site." EDI stated. With that Garrus sprinted forward.

"Extraction is going to be considerably difficult what with the relays being destroyed. Will you be able to survive for a while until something can be worked out with conventional travel?" Was that Hacket's voice? Garrus ran without thought to the bruises and injuries sustained from the fighting and the crash. He stormed thought the bushes and trees without any regard.

"Environmental conditions are similar to Earth and the atmosphere is compatible with respiratory functions of the organic crew members." EDI paused a moment. "However, significant physiological changes have occurred in all crew members. Further analysis will be needed to determine survivability and the unknown environment." The words were meaningless to Garrus as the plume of smoke thinned but grew closer. Hackett sighed over the comm link,

"Yea, what's left of our science team is at a loss about that too. For now, we'll just have to figure it out as we go and focus on surviving the aftermath. Some small luck that you're able to reach us EDI so we can share information. We'll try to extract you as soon as possible. Keep me posted."

"Will do." Joker said a little breathlessly. Was he running? Garrus had no mind for the rest of the crew. All he knew was that even if he had failed her, he wouldn't leave her lifeless body to be eaten by animals. Shepard would have the proper burial of a hero...a legand...a treasured piece of his soul.

His first glimpse of the wrecked Citadel spilled before him as Garrus heedlessly pushed through the clinging vines and the debri scattering the area. Garrus was gasping wildly for air yet still pushed his body further. His mind raced in confusion at this insane flight. What was the point? She was dead, why torture himself like this? Why break the last bit of sanity he had left? He was already hopelessly broken...and maybe that was it. His heart couldn't let go, desperately needed to see her again, in any way. It needed to cling to anything even knowing that the last of himself would break when he lay eyes on that wreckage. Maybe all he was looking for was a last straw...

Garrus came to an abrupt stop several yards into the decimated husk of twisted metal spread for miles. Large chunks of the Citadel decorated the ground like a mad impressionist's painting. Garrus felt at a loss, where to begin? And what would he do if...when...he found her? How would he survive seeing her beautiful and strange body as a lifeless...

Even thoughts failed him and he sank heavily to his knees. His mind was unable to cope, unable to move. He stayed locked in silent agony of the inevitable.

His visor flickered another wind change modification for firing, adjusted scoping for smoke to increase visibility. And registered a faint pulse 300 yards southeast. Garrus tilted his head up expecting the crew to be standing nearby, having finally caught up. But saw no one. His mind focused again on comm link but it was silent for the time being. His heart stuttered as he shifted his gaze southeast. There was a decently intact section that must have been sheltered by the other sections upon impact. It was still a hunk of wreckage but still held some form and shape. Garrus' body lurched back to its feet and moved forward. Garrus walked as if in a dream. The pulse continued to register but remained weak and hesitant. No...it couldn't be...it must be some small animal caught in the blast...

A harsh gasp echoed through the silent rubble.

Garrus couldn't recall exactly what happened next but one moment he was was haltingly stepping forward and the next he was cradling Shepard's body in his arms desperately yelling into his Comm link. Exclamations of shock in incredulity greeted him but he could also hear the sounds of running.

Garrus stared down at her charred and decimated armor. Her flesh was no better than it had looked as he watched her run into her doom on Earth. And yet...that same flesh impossibly continued to draw shaky breath, and a gentle heartbeat continued to flicker on his visor.