Personal Documents
By Terri
Disclaimer: You know the drill.
A/N: This one was just a-floating around my head. Nothing ground-breaking, just something I thought was worth sharing.
"I'm gonna go across the road and get a coffee," Sam said, shrugging a jacket over his white button-up shirt. "Want one?"
"No thanks," Dean said. Sam left.
They were, once again, in a crappy motel room. Between jobs, life was boring for the boys, and they were searching for the next gig. Dean was currently sitting at a small, road dining table, searching the internet for anything dodgy. Sam had been looking through newspapers, having gotten sick of the laptop and its bright screen. Dean was finding nothing interesting and without Sam's encouragement, he was getting bored. He minimised the search page to see if Sam had any decent games. No.
How boring, Sam, Dean thought.
Suddenly, he noticed a desktop item. Personal Documents. Dean paused. He knew he shouldn't look, but … oh well! He double-clicked the folder. There were several sub-folders. Pictures, Letters, Resumes … Journal.
"That looks interesting …" Dean muttered.
Inside the Journal folder was an incredible amount of Word Documents, all named with the date they were saved. Dean clicked one at random.
"College was rather boring today. Although I have an assignment due next week, I'm going out with Jessica tomorrow night for Halloween. I'm not really that interested, but Jess wants to go. I'm still shopping for rings … I need it to be perfect. I'm really nervous and excited … I can't imagine life without Jess. I love the girl just too much!"
Not wanting to get into that, Dean closed that entry and brought up a more recent one.
"Dean and I are working on a new gig. I think we're after a Tibetan Thought-Form – a Tulpa. There's a pair of boys who have put a description of a spirit haunting a house – as well as a picture of a meditative symbol – on their stupid website … it's annoying. These kids could go so far. They're geekier than me … they're smart, but so stupid!"
Dean laughed. Sam had the most bizarre logic sometimes. Dean again closed the entry and scrolled down to the most recent one. It had been made that day. Interest peaking, Dean opened it up.
"Dad and I are between jobs again. We're having trouble finding anything suspicious. I haven't bought this up with Dean, but I get the horrible feeling that this is the calm before the storm. My nightmares have been getting worse, but they aren't premonitions – just nightmares. They're mostly about mum and Jess, asking me why. It scares me.
The reason I haven't told Dean is because he's been acting odd lately. He wont talk about anything but work … not even chicks. I wish I knew what he was thinking. And I'd love to tell him how I feel, just for someone to talk to. I miss Jess, I could always talk to her. I'm lonely, scared … and worst of all, I feel unloved. Stupid, I know. But dad isn't around, and when he is we fight. Dean wont talk to me … it's pathetic, but I'm not even sure he loves me. I know we're guys … but we're also brothers. I miss when we were kids and he would always talk to me. I could say anything and he wouldn't think I was a girl for it. He'd just hug me and I'd be ok. God, I wouldn't dream of trying to hug Dean now. He's so scared of showing emotion.
Truthfully, I'm a little scared of having a breakdown here. There's only so much I can hold back. Without Jess, and the way Dean is now … I just don't think I'm coping."
"Hey, find something interesting?" Sam said, walking through the door with a large, take-out coffee in his hand. Dean looked up in shock, closing the entry.
"Nah, it's all crap." Dean said. "You know, I was thinking … let's take a break."
Sam sat across from Dean and raised his eyebrows.
"What? We've earned it, and no gigs have popped up. Let's go rock it out somewhere fun."
"Like where?" Sam groaned.
"Wherever you want, I guess."
Sam paused. "Riiiiight …"
They sat in silence for a moment.
"You know, Sammy … I was also thinking about something else."
"Mmm?" Sam said through his coffee.
"Are you ok?" he looked Sam in the eye. "Like, really ok."
"I'm fine Dean, why?" Sam asked.
"I'm your brother, can't I just ask?"
Sam looked a little surprised. He wondered, where did all this come from?
Dean watched Sam's uncertain look. I'm going to be better, he thought.