I've often wondered what Spike's abode would look like. Have you?

This is my imagination running free.

I love humour, so please relax, enjoy and come for a smooth ride.

I don't own Flashpoint and never will.

Apartment 7

Spike came to work with spring on his feet. He was always happy, but today he's unusually happy, bouncing off the wall happy, he was infectiously happy. Seeing him like this made everyone at SRU HQ happy; but wary at the same time since they suspect he was being happy at their expense.

Spike could not help but notice how everyone was gingerly opening their locker doors, checking the door frames, and looking under the sink. What has gotten into them, he thought. He looked at them with a quizzical look and they looked back with a quizzical look.

Samtastic was so paranoid that, at one point, he stood with his back against the locker before opening the door outwards. He wanted to be behind the door in case a missile comes flying out from inside his locker. Nothing happened, so far.

Greg inspected his chair. He looked under it and ran his hands over the chair. He only sat on it when he was satisfied that everything was alright.

Raf was getting ready to have a shower. He looked into the cubicle, so far so good. He checked his shampoo and conditioner and they smelt fine. He poured a little into his hands, rubbed his hands together and ran them under tap water and they bubbled just fine. No unusual colouring, no itching, nothing. Raf felt that it was safe to shower.

Spike was especially attentive to Jules and Winnie today. He offered them water to drink and cookies to eat, but the ladies were having none of them. "No, not thirsty." "No, not hungry for cookies at the moment." "No, we're fine." "We're cool."

Ed was seriously suspicious. He checked his phone, his PDA, his beeper, his charger so far, so good. Well, it seemed Spike was not being up to no good. I can relax, thought Ed. But the Fearless Leader couldn't relax seeing how happy Spike was. Unable to stand it anymore he called everyone into the briefing room. "Ok, Spike, why are you happy today?"

Greg seconded, "Yeah, Spike, why are you happy today?"

Spike looked around, bewildered. "Is it wrong to be happy? What's going on?"

Raf stretched out on his chair, then leaned forward onto the table, "You are not being happy at our expense." It was more a statement than a question, then the penny dropped. Spike was flabbergasted! "You all think I'm playing a prank on you guys! Me! I'm such a good boy!"

Spike was flabbergasted! "You all think I'm playing a prank on you guys! Me! I'm such a good boy!"

Team One looked at him like he just landed from the moon, "You? A good boy?" said Jules, "Define good."

"You can't all be serious," said Spike now being defensive. "Ok, I'm happy because the work in my apartment is complete."

Jules' eyes grew big and wide, "I didn't know you were renovating," she said.

"Not so much renovated, but improved. I made it better," said Spike proudly, "In fact you're all welcome to visit after shift". Sam appeared nonchalant and simply said, "This would be interesting. But I'm game to come over after shift. I want to see this apartment for myself."

"Me, too," said Raf.

In the end, they all agreed to check it out. Spike invited Winnie to come along.

Everyone went back to what they were doing before the impromptu meeting. It was a slow day so they mostly did cleaning, weapons inventory, patrolling. The day went by quickly. Now, they were gathered in the lobby at the end of the shift to go to Spike's new and "better" apartment. In the car, the ever vigilant Fearless Leader said that perhaps, in hindsight, it wasn't the best thing to do. "He might have turned it into one big playground."

In the car, the ever vigilant Fearless Leader said that perhaps, in hindsight, it wasn't the best thing to do. "He might have turned it into one big playground."

At any rate, they were in front of the building before any of them could change their mind. So here they were, at the threshold of the new and better apartment.

The only illumination was the hallway light. Spike punched in a code on the keypad and the door opened. "Wow, keyless entry," joked Raf.

There wasn't a switch on the wall to turn on the lights. Spike instructed Winnie and Jules to go in first. Winnie and Jules looked at each other and decided to go ahead and step into the dark. Instantly the lights in the living room came on and the surround-sound stereo played "The four Seasons" music.

"Wow," they all said.

There were three two-seater couches in the middle of the living room, arranged in a U shape and a huge coffee table in the middle. The instant Greg sat down on the middle couch something pleasant happened. "The apartment is motion sensitive. If you sit on the couch facing the east wall, it (pointing to the television) will come down," explained Spike to his stunned captive audience.

They stood around in awe, "Unbelievable."

Then, Winnie said she could smell coffee. "Oh, I like to have a cappuccino as soon as I get home, the coffee maker has started and just brewed one for me," said Spike proudly, "Anyone else for coffee?" Sure, they all said "yes" if only to see how Spike programmed the coffee maker to make coffee.

Spike opened a tin of biscuit but before he threw the wrapper away he scanned the barcode into his mobile phone, "What did you do that for?" asked the Fearless Leader.

"So when I go food shopping next week, it's on the list to buy."

"Wow, I better get one for Sophie."

They all oh and ah'd at the fancy gadgets and the motion sensor and the terrific security features and… but… where's the toilet?

Sam looked around and said, "I need to use the toilet." Spike pointed to the bookshelves.

"Seriously", said Sam, "You don't suggest that I should do my business on your books."

Everyone laughed but was rendered speechless when Spike went over to the bookshelves and pulled the two apart. It separated and revealed the toilet, Sam step inside and asked Spike if there was anything he should know before he closed the door. Spike assured him that it the toilet operated in a traditional way.

Suddenly, they all heard a shriek from inside the toilet and Sam came out a little red-faced. The toilet, unknown to him, would flush on its own when it sensed that your business was done. The sudden flush surprised him. They all had a laugh about it at Sam's expense.

"Show me the bedroom," asked Jules who was like a sister to him. Spike opened what looked like a cupboard door. She stepped in and she opened her mouth, it stayed open for a good minute. Spike sheepishly explained that it was partly inspired by C.S. Lewis, "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe."

On the left side of the room was Spike's workstation. High speed processor, big screen monitor and high resolution printer. The man can effectively move his office here in the event of an emergency; Greg said as much. Spike took this as a compliment from his Boss.

"This is just freaking impressive."

They all walked in and tried to absorb the quirkiness of it all, Winnie asked, "Where do you sleep?" Spike pressed his hands on the right wall, they heard a click, the door, concealed as a wall opened, he pulled the queen-sized bed out and then down to the floor.

Raf was thunderstruck, "Awesome, man this is wild." Only spike's wardrobe was not concealed. It was just there, his clothes hanging and folded neatly.

Greg remembered that Spike mentioned he bought a two-bedder. "Where's the other bedroom?"

Spike smiled and said, "Follow me."

"Don't tell me. Another cupboard," said the Fearless Leader, who for the most part was very, very quiet. They almost forgot that he was, in fact, with them this whole time.

"Nope." Spike went to the window, which was actually a trompe l'oeil of a French inspired window. "You have got to be kidding me," said Raf, who was behaving like a little pup himself, quiet playful. Spike pushed it and it opened to a workshop where he was making a prototype of baby Babycakes. He was so happy and proud, telling everyone who cared to listen (which was none) what he was making. They were too busy taking it all in.

"You have got to be kidding me," said Raf, who was behaving like a little pup himself, quiet playful. Spike pushed it and it opened to a workshop where he was making a prototype of baby Babycakes. He was so happy and proud, telling everyone who cared to listen (which was none) what he was making. They were too busy taking it all in.

When Sam tried to open one closet though, Spike objected. The Fearless Leader asked what was so secret, Spike didn't think he could get away with a lie so he simply said, "It's my bomb making cupboard."

They all went, "SPIKE!"

Greg insisted Spike open the cupboard. Inside were small amount of TNT, RDX, fertilizer, ammonia, there were alarm clocks, wires, and duct tapes. "Spike, I want this cleared out of the apartment and back in the workshop at HQ. Tomorrow." Greg tried to look stern, but he really couldn't help but be impressed with his tech genius.

Then they heard this weird buzzing sound, "What the heck is that?" asked Winnie.

Spike left the room and they all followed, a toy airplane was buzzing around the living room, they didn't notice it before. As it turned out, the plane flies around the room when someone buzzes the front door. The pizza man had arrived. When Spike opened the front door to get the pizza, the plane landed back on top of the bookshelf. Impressive, they all thought.

They all shared the pizza and drank cold beer and toasted the creative genius of Michaelangelo Spike Scarlatti.