This story was inspired by the Westlife song 'Home'. I listened to it and thought it fit perfectly with Edward's feelings when he is away during New Moon. There is a line at the start of verse 3 (see below) and it made me think, what if Edward wrote Bella letters while he was away? What if he did, never meaning to send them, just to get it off his chest? This is what I came up with ;-) !
First fanfic, PLEASE review. (if you do I'll write more)
This bit inspired me
And I'll be keeping all the letters
That I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
I'm fine baby how are you
And I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
The words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Dear Bella,
I just left you.
I can't believe I could but I did. It hurts just to remember what you looked like, the way your voice trembeled, the hurt in your eyes. I'm so sorry. More sorry than I can ever tell you. There aren't words for my apologies. They haven't been invented yet.
I don't know what to do now. The others are gone already, and I can't stand to be around any of them. It's not that I don't love them anymore, I do, it's just that... I don't know how to explain it right. There is this hole inside of me that my family can't fill. I think I will travel, be alone for a time. I'll check in every so often, so they won't worry.
I hope you will move on Bella. I can't bear to think of you hurting the way I am, but I don't think there is any other way. I pray that you will find someone to make you happy, someone human who can protect you without endangering your life. I promised you that I would not interfere, and I intend to keep that promise.
I love you. I know it may not seem like it right now, but it's true. It always has been. It always will be
Edward