The Aftermath

It was eerily quiet in the hub. Ianto shuddered. The worst of it was that this feeling of emptiness was becoming the norm for the Torchwood team. Did a trio even rate as a team anymore? Ianto supposed he ought to approach Jack about considering applicants to fill in the post that had until so recently, been filled by Tosh and Owen. It's strange the way no one really notices just how important people are when they're around. It's when they're gone that the gaping hole they leave in your life becomes apparent. Only when it's too late. Too late.

Sighing Ianto turned so he could surreptitiously look through the window of Jack's office. Of all of them he had taken the losses of Toshiko and Owen the worst, feeling responsible for their deaths. He had led them into danger knowing that they, unlike him, were all too capable of dying. In Torchwood you were faced with life-and-death situations so frequently they almost became the norm. Until something happens to make you realise just how precious life is. Letting his mind drift Ianto's head filled with memories of his friends; Tosh excitedly explaining a modification she'd made to the system, the way he had always been able to see her crush on Owen, Owen's facade of not caring that was just that - a facade, the way everything had always seemed so busy with them around. A sad smile crept over his face, things ought to be so different, in some ways they were of course but the rift didn't take holidays because of grief and pain, in fact Ianto personally believed it thrived off them.

Wandering around the hub he stopped every now and then to straighten some piles of paper or the suchlike, Gwen was at home with Rhys, finding it hard to cope with all the memories that the hub was inevitably steeped in.

- - - - - - -

Jack sat back in his chair, staring mutinously at the paperwork in front of him. He couldn't bring himself to care enough to do it. What was the point when he was seriously considering disbanding Torchwood?

It was his fault they'd died. Toshiko Sato, technical genius and Owen Harper a damn fine medic, both of whom he thought he'd saved by bringing them into Torchwood but instead they were dead because of him. Just thinking about them hardened his resolve; Gwen had a husband and a life outside of Torchwood and Ianto…deserved better than what Jack was in a position to offer him. He would retcon them both and neither would know any different.

Jack stood up and went to his window, crossing his arms, of all the people in the world he was the only one he would be willing to put in the sort of danger faced by Torchwood employees. If only he'd realised it sooner…

- - - - - - -

Curled up on the sofa next to Rhys, Gwen felt safe, almost like a child next to his solid form. It was at times like this when she realised just why she loved Rhys; they understood each other in a way no one else did, not even Jack with his never-ending secrets. It felt good to get away from work and enjoy being comfortable as Gwen the ordinary citizen who didn't have to worry about saving the world from threat after threat. As she stared at the TV her thoughts drifted to work, not Tosh and Owen, that was one wound still too raw, but to Jack and the way he seemed further away than ever before. Just after Tosh…Gwen had believed him when he'd said they'd get through it together but the usually secretive Captain had managed to find new levels of silence on issues that really mattered, that needed to be talked about.

Shaking her head she returned her attention to the present to find her husband watching her.

'You just never switch off from that place, do you?' he smiled fondly. 'Even when you know nothing's happening, it's always there, at the back of your mind. I see it in your eyes Gwen and I worry that it eating you up.'

Gwen realised that this was something he'd been thinking about a lot and she also realised he was right.

'I'm sorry, it's just…there's only the three of us now and it's not the same. Look, I promise you that I won't let it eat me up, not when I have you here to act as my anchor'

'You know I love you' He gave that big soppy smile that Gwen loved so much.

'I love you too'. She nuzzled him softly before interlacing their fingers. 'Come on, I feel like going out somewhere with lots of people and feeling normal'

She stood, pulling Rhys to his feet and grabbed her bag.