This is my first fanfic .
English is not my first language and I hope you will give me your most sincere reviews.
I don't know if this idea was used by someone else, I hope not.
Thank you!
Disclaimer: I don't own BBC Sherlock.
John
How are you doing?
I hope that Mycroft told you that I'm alive before you read this letter.
I know you probably ask yourself why I did this, why I had to make you believe that I would kill myself. I would try in this letter to explain why I had to take this decision. Before I meet you I didn't know what it means to have a friend. You are my first true friend. I will speak about myself a little before I start to explain why I did this.
When I was little, my brother taught me to control my feelings. To not show what I really feel in front of people. When I think now about his methods, I think that I can understand a bit more. He is my big brother, and that's why he had to teach me how to survive in this cruel world. Many times he was called by the school's Director because one of my colleagues said that I am a freak, only because I am much smarter than him. You know, when Donovan and Anderson said these things about me I didn't care because they were never been my friends, but in the beginning I tried to be polite with them. To be honest I have tried in the past , in my own way, to be polite with every people that I met.
But this is not about them, John, you know I don't like to speak about them, but they made me realize why I behave like that in front of people that I consider stupid. I know I told you before that I don't like stupid people, this is not true. I don't like people that behave as if they know everything, when in fact they only know to judge. When I'm working I am very strict because my mind works different then you ordinary people. And when I say ordinary people I don't mean it as an insult, or that I want to be superior to you.
I don't even know why I spoke about myself in this letter. These are my secret thoughts,it seems that I feel lonely, away from home, and I begin to change. And this change I owe it to you, my best friend. But enough talking about me . Now I want to know about you, how is your life? I hope you met a special woman how you always wanted. I asked Mycroft to tell me about you, but he didn't want because he thought that I would want to return home. John, I was there when you spoke at my false tomb.
I want to thank you for your beautiful words, that you wanted it to believe in me even if the all world was against me. Moriarty managed to convince them that I was a fraud, but you my friend, you believed in me. Now Moriarty is dead, I've beat him, and I'm glad that I can finally say that this nightmare is over. Molly Hooper is the one that helped me beside my brother, and she became a very good friend to me. I will thank her for all she did for me.
I hope you don't hate her because she didn't tell you about me. I made her do this, and she accepted to help me because you know how she is, right, John? She would do everything to protect her friends, even lie to them, if it means they can be safe from danger. If you can forgive me John, I hope you can be my best friend again, because I miss you.
2 years ago when you saw me on the roof with Moriarty, you didn't know that he had ordered to shoot you, and Lestrade if I didn't jump. I know you probably think that what I say now is an excuse, because I should have to tell you about my plan right away after that . But John you must know, that you and our friends were in danger. I had to make my death to look real because I couldn't risk your lives.
This is my last week away from home, and I will never regret what I did to save you, Inspector Lestrade and Ms Hudson, in especially for you, my best friend. My mission to destroy those who were working for Moriarty it wasn't easy but it was worth it.
I hope to see you soon!
Sherlock