This popped into my head while I was listening to this song, The Show Goes on by Bruce Hornsby. I suggest you listen to it, it's a great song. In case you think it is familiar, it was in the movie 'Back Draft' a (long) while ago. (That move always made me cry, my dad was in the fire department for 38 years before he retired a few years ago.)
Somewhat follows cannon as far as Danny and Lindsey being married and having Lucy. Everything else has been changed to fit this. Not set during any specific season. No spoilers either.
Anyway, Flack/Lindsey is not my normal pairing, but this just wouldn't leave my head.
Character death ahead. Not sure if you should have tissues ready. This is kind of sappy.
This is written in 'snippets' of events. It was in my head sort of like a music video. I know, that sounds odd, but really that is how I saw it. Maybe if you listen to the song while reading it, you will get the same 'vision'.
As usual, don't own the characters, don't own the song. (Wish I did…)
(Song lyrics are in bold)
Enough with the babble...Enjoy!
What's the long face, what's all the crying for?
Didn't you expect it when you opened your door?
Lindsay Messer was enjoying her life. Her and Danny had finally managed to save enough money to buy a small house, her baby girl was growing up to be a smart, energetic child and things just seemed to be going so well in general.
To the man with the long coat and the long list of victims
Everyone watching knows he's the one keeping the score
It was a pretty spring day, still a little chilly, and Lindsay was looking out the front window when the dark sedan pulled to a stop in front of the house. She got a feeling of dread when she saw Don Flack and another man she recognized get out and head up the walk. The NYPD chaplain was dressed in all black and wearing his long trench coat. Before they could knock, Lindsay yanked the door open and took in the look on Don's face.
"Mrs. Messer…" the chaplain began.
Tears sprang to her eyes and she began to sob as she clutched Don's jacket and buried her face against his chest. She barely registered the chaplain still speaking, only catching things like 'sorry' and 'terrible loss'. Don wrapped his arms around her and rested his cheek on the top of her head. She hadn't noticed a few of her neighbors were watching the scene in front of them with a fairly good idea of what had happened.
From where she sits, everyone stands in judgment
People watching as the curtain falls down
A week later, Lindsay sat silently with her almost three year old daughter on her lap listening to the sad sound of the bagpipes playing 'Amazing Grace'. She knew this was all her fault. She knew everyone blamed her. If only she had made Danny call out when he said he wasn't feeling well that morning. He wasn't one hundred percent and she should never have let him go to work. She would never forgive herself. She knew everyone else would never forgive her either. The rest of the team stood frozen in place in their dress uniforms, their hands raised in a salute, tears silently trailing down their faces as the service came to an end.
See the lights do a long slow fade
The show goes on, and the sad eyed sisters go walking on
Everyone watching all along
The show goes on, as the autumn's coming and the summer's all gone
Still without you, the show goes on
On a crisp October afternoon Lindsay sat in the grass her hand gently pressed against the cool marble stone bearing his name. Don stood by the car giving her all the time she needed. He always drove her to visit Danny as she was so emotional when she was done, she never would have been able to get herself back home. He could hear her soft voice as she spoke.
"So Lucy is getting so big now. She really misses her Daddy. So do I. Don's been so wonderful. He has been helping me more than I can ever repay. You were so lucky to have a friend as great as him. He is great with Lucy and she just adores him. "
Some say she's alright, some say she'll never learn
"I think everyone thinks I'm crazy for talking to you like this. They just don't understand. The day I stop is the day I will really realize you are gone and won't be coming back. I am just glad that Don has been there to keep me grounded.
Some rush into things, some stand and wait their turn
I've been here all along, standing here all this time
Don heard his name several times in Lindsay's 'conversation' and smiled a sad smile at her small figure. As much as he hated to admit it, he was starting to feel more than friendship for Lindsay. He felt like a terrible person. How could he be thinking of making a move on his best friend's wife? It had been almost six months since Danny was killed and Don had spent most of his time with Lindsay and Lucy when he wasn't at work.
But you never noticed, just let the same tired flames burn
From where I sit, everyone stands in judgment
Of course Lindsay had never read anything further into the friendship, and he couldn't blame her. She was still not over losing Danny. He knew everyone would think he was an insensitive jerk if he tried anything. He couldn't risk losing Lindsay's friendship just because he was an idiot.
He heard her sobs now, loud and broken and walked over to gently help her up from the ground.
She rested her hand on the stone one last time. "I love you Danny. I miss you so much."
Don quietly helped her walk to the car and sighed as he helped her in.
Everybody watching as the curtain falls down
He wondered if everyone else had noticed that he was in love with Lindsay Messer.
See the lights do a long slow fade
The show goes on, and the sad eyed sisters go walking on
Everyone watching all along
The show goes on, as the autumn's coming and the summer's all gone
Still without you, the show goes on
It had been one year to the day that Lindsay lost Danny.
Time is passing, slowly passing you by
You better try to find it before it passes you by
Don had finally gotten Lindsay down to once a month on her visits to Danny. It wasn't that he didn't want her to go, but her obsession with 'seeing' him was getting to the point of being unhealthy. It seemed she was getting her life back in order and was finally beginning to move on.
As I watch you walking to another cold dawn
And you keep walking, and they keep talking
Talking all along
Today was colder than the day it happened. It was also earlier in the morning. Don watched as Lindsay huddled under her coat and walked to the all too familiar stone. She didn't sit on the ground as there was a light layer of frost still clinging to the grass. She placed the bouquet of white roses against the cold marble then gently ran her gloved hand over the letters of his name engraved there.
"Hey baby. It's hard to believe it's been a year already. I still miss you so much."
From where she sits, everyone stands in judgment
Everybody watching as the curtain falls down
"I have to tell you something Danny. I hope you understand. It's about Don."
Don's head snapped up at the sound of Lindsay's words.
"He has been such a wonderful person since you left. I know it wasn't your choice to go. I think things have changed between the two of us. He has never said it, but I can tell. Please don't think I love you any less. You were the most caring and loving husband and father anyone could ever want. Please don't be mad at Don. He has never once tried to take your place. Danny, I have to tell you…" She paused as the tears ran from the corners of her eyes. She took a deep breath. "It's hard to explain. I think I love him Dan."
Don tried not to smile too brightly. He still felt odd about his feelings for Lindsay even though a year had gone by. But if this was what Lindsay really wanted, he would not deny her. He knew he could never replace Danny, and never wanted to try, but if he could make her happy and bring back some of her former self then he would be satisfied. He heard Lindsay speak again.
"I have to go baby. I have to go to work today. Mac told me to take the day off, but I couldn't stand the thought of sitting around and dwelling on things. I love you Danny and nothing will ever change that. Please remember that, no matter what happens."
She wiped her eyes and turned to walk back to the car. Don still said nothing in spite of Lindsay's revelation. He walked her to the passenger side and opened the door. She hugged him gently and he placed a soft kiss on her forehead. Even though this gesture was not uncommon between the two of them, they both felt it had a whole new meaning this time.
See the lights do a long slow fade
The show goes on, and the sad eyed sisters go walking on
Everyone watching all along
The show goes on, as the autumn's coming and the summer's all gone
Still without you, the show goes on
Yeah, like I warned, kind of sappy but I just HAD to write this to get it out of my head. I literally wrote this in a few hours. I don't think it's one of my best but I don't care. I write whatever my warped mind comes up with.
Reviews are enjoyed but not a requirement.