WHEN TWO HARRY POTTER FANS GET INCREDIBLY BORED AND MAKE A POINTLESS, RETARDED STORY.
WE LOVE YOU SO DON'T BE HATIN', YO. :(
HAVE A SENSE OF HUMORRRRRRRR.HARRY POTTER IS COOL. :3 AND DOESN'T BELONG TO US. HE BELONGS TO J.K. ROWLING. JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT. D:
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Harry: ASDFKK:SSJGDLSFA RON, WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR CLASS YOU LAZY GIT. D:
Ron: BUT HAAAAAAARRYYY, MY KNICKERS FELL INTO THE LOO AGAIN...
Harry: WELL REMEMBER TO STAPLE THEM ON NEXT TIME.
-Hermione walks up to the two bickering boys-
Hermione: GEE WIZ, don't you think I'm just INCREDIBLY smart? I mean JUST LOOK AT MY MASSIVE NOGGIN! -pats head-
Harry: ...
Ron: ... Go away, Hermione.
Hermione: o-o -walks away-
-Suddenly, Hogwarts has a school bell!! It rings, signaling that class has started and Harry and Ron are screwed.-
Harry: BLOODY HELLLLLO, SNAPE IS SO GOING TO KILL US. Well, me anyways... Or Dumbledore... -shifty eyes-
Ron: :'(
Harry: UGHHHHHHH. I NEED SOMETHING TO TAKE MY TEENAGE ANGST OUT ON... -looks around and spots Crookshanks the cat randomly walking down the hall-
Ron: DON'T HURT HERMIONE'S KITTY HARRYYYYYYYYYYYY. -cries-
Harry: -ignores Ron and aims his wand at Crookshanks- AVADA KEDAVRA!!11
Crookshanks: -explodes-
Harry: W00T.
Hermione: -was still standing behind Harry and Ron- oo
Harry: -turns around- Crap. 0-0
Hermione: What... Did... You... DO?! -runs over to Crookshanks' ashes- NOOOOOOO!!1111
Harry: -shrugs- What? We only put your poor cat out of his misery. :)
Hermione: -looks up, tears in her eyes- WHAT? MY CAT? THIS ISN'T CROOKSHANKS YOU DOLT, IT'S PROFFESOR MCGONAGALL!!11 0X
Harry: 00 ... -throws up-
Ron: OMFGGGGGGGG. -runs over to McGonagall's ashes and starts doing CPR- DON'T LEAVE ME PROFFESSOR! YOUR CLASS IS THE ONLY CLASS THAT I'M PASSING!!111 -cries-
Harry: -looks around- Okay you guys... THIS NEVER HAPPENED, GOT IT? -holds up Vaccuum Cleaner- Let's get rid of the evidence! D:
Hermione: -still sobbing- WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??/ WHY COULDN'T IT OF BEEN MRS. NORRIS?? OR MALFOY...
Ron: -still doing CPR- BREATHHHHHHHHHHHEEEE!!1
Harry: :) -walks up to MG's ashes and vaccuum's them up-
Hermione: Well now... I'm sure it will go unnoticed that one of the most important professors at Hogwarts just suddenly disappeared...
-the trio exchange glances-
Hermione: I'll get the suitcases.
Ron: I'll get the passports :D
Harry: C'mon, gang!
Ron: JINKIES, HARRY!
-the three run off-
--
-In McGonagall's Classroom-
-crickets chirp-
Student 1: LET'S ALL DISCO.
-a giant disco ball magically appears from the ceiling as the students jump onto their tables and begin to get their freak on-
--
-In the Great Hall-
Harry: -looks around- What're we doing here?
Ron: ... I have no idea.
Hermione: I TOLD YOU YOU NITWITS, WE NEED TO TALK TO DUMBLEDORE SO HE WON'T BE SUSPICIOUS THAT PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL HAS SUDDENLY VANISHED...
-the three walk up to Dumbledore who is staring blankly at a candle, drooling-
Hermione: -whispers over to Harry- He's learned how to sleep with his eyes open...
Harry: Ah.
Ron: That's whacked, man.
Hermione: -taps Dumbledore- Er... Professor?
Dumbledore: -silent-
Hermione: -taps Dumbledore once more- Professor...?
Dumbledore: ... -falls over to the ground with a loud THUMP-
Hermione: 0-0 Uh...
Dumbledore: -stands up- What can I do for you children :)
Hermione:
... Whatever. Professor, we just wanted you to know that... if you
don't see Professor McGonagall in the next 2 weeks, there's no need
for suspicion.
She went to go visit her... mum. Her... very old
mum.
Dumbledore: orly? I thought she died over 97 years ago. D:
Hermione: ... yes. She did. And if you don't see us for a while, we're... sleeping.
Ron: Or in the bathroom! Y'know, all of that good ol' fiber! ;D
Dumbledore: o-o -blink- 'kay...
Harry: SCREW THIS. -grabs a chair and whacks Dumbledore over the head, causing him to be knocked out cold-
Hermione: HARRY!!111111 WHAT THE BLOODY HELLO WAS THAT FOR?!1/1/
Harry: ... I blame my childhood. -grabs his suitcase- TO THE GETAWAY BROOMSTICKS! -runs off-
--
-At Hagrid's Hut-
Harry: -holding his Firebolt- LETS GO!!1
Hermione: Er... I have no broomstick...
Ron: -snorts-
Hermione: -slaps Ron- YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHAT I MEAN.
Hagrid: -opens the front door- Shouldn't 'yas be at class? oo
Harry: NO! WE DIDN'T KILL PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL!!1 Wait... I mean... uhh...
Hermione: -eyeroll- Nice, Harry. ee
Harry: -nudges Ron- Distract ol' Hagrid here while me and Hermione go untie Buckbeak who just happened to be visting Hagrid today... -shifty eyes-
Ron: 'KAY. -walks up to Hagrid-
Hagrid: -stares- oo
Ron: I love you, Hagrid. c: -snugs-
Hagrid: Ah, Ron, I... Don' steer tha' way if ya know wha' I mean... oo
--
-Later-
Hermione: -sitting on Buckbeak- OKAY LET'S GO AND STUFF.
Harry: -looks over at Ron who is still hugging a very scared-looking Hagrid- RON, LET'S GO YOU GIT.
Ron: BYEEE HAGRID WE'RE OFF TO VEGAS. -hops away-
Hagrid: -blinks and slowly backs away into his hut and closes the door- I think I'm gon' need therapy afer 'is... -cries and eats icecream-
-Harry, Hermione, and Ron take off, soaring over Hogwarts-
Ron: SO, VEGAS?
Harry: I MAY BE RICH IN THE MAGIC WORLD RON, BUT I SURE AS HECK DON'T HAVE ANY CASH IN THE REAL WORLD. SO NO.
Ron: REAL WORLD? WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!1/! -cries-
Hermione and Harry: SHUT UP, RON.
--
-the three fly off to... somewhere. Where? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER... I GUESS.-
No flames, please. We're Harry Potter fans jusssssssst like you. D: And we love you. Don't forget that.
AND YES, WE KNOW THAT THIS ISN'T IN STORY FORMAT. WE REALLY DON'T FEEL LIKE PUTTING IT IN STORY FORMAT, EITHER. WE'RE LAZY. -cries-