-1Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix, Final Fantasy, or any mumbo-jumbo like that, I just write the fan fiction.
Rated: M or R if you like
Warning: Yaoi, meaning guy on guy action. If you no like that, then don't read this, or anything I write here for that matter. If I get a flame yelling at me about the Yaoi, you will get a very nasty and biting response from me, one guy and I had a huge fight over a flame he sent me…haven't heard from him since…Mwahahaa
Song of Desperation.
"Damn the darkness inside me, the darkness that keeps me from seeing what is truly
important. The darkness that holds me where I am with no improvement and no remorse. As much as I hate I still love, and I can't drive from me what is driving me over the edge. I cannot get rid of the darkness in my heart, I want the light, but I cannot find it. I want to see those that I once loved, but now only see as lumps of meat. My life has gone down the drain and I am nothing more than a shell of my former self.
And it is all his fault. Though nothing logical can support that theory, it must be true. It is all his fault that I am how I am now. I trusted him, I helped him, and now I'm left in the dust, left on my own to fend for myself. And can't do it. I'm weak, and my own frailty is what drove me to such desperate measures.
I've let the darkness in, and it has eaten me from the inside out. I'm desperate. A creature of the darkness searching for a single point of light that will guide me out of this pit. "
"Wow, dark enough for you? Jeez, I never figured you to write such dark stuff."
Cloud leaned back in his chair, examining Leon's features. His eyes lingered on the scar that slashed boldly across his face. For a moment his thoughts went to that scar, what had made it, was it an accident? Or a fight maybe?
Leon cleared his throat. "Cloud, are you listening to me?" Cloud brought his eyes up to meet Leon's and nodded to show that he had in fact, heard him.
"Yeah Leon, I know, it's dark. But the whole book is dark, it's called angst. You know, the futility of human kind? The horrors of the world?"
Leon sighed and handed the manuscript back to Cloud. "I'm sorry Cloud, I can't run this."
"What do you mean you can't run it? You haven't even read the first chapter!" Cloud pushed up out of his soft leather chair and pounded his fist's on Leon's hardwood desk. "This is one of the best things I've written!"
"I'm sorry Cloud, I can't run it. There is too much stress in people's lives as it is, sales figures say that people buy more humor and less horror. Feel-good is up, depressing is down."
"Do you really expect me to write that kind of garbage? You know the only kind of humor I can appreciate is irony!"
"I'm sorry Cloud, you have to adapt. Tell you what, I'll give you a four month break. Bring me back an outline for a more promising story, and we'll write up a contract."
"Leon, I'm one of you're best friends, and I know this will sell, can't you make an exception? Just this once? Try just a few copies, if it sells, you can do more. Come on Leon, I need the money!"
Leon shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry Cloud, this is the best I can do for you. If I make an exception it could mean my job. Sales are down, if I can't meet my quota…"
"Leon…"
"No Cloud. I can't do this for you, I'll give you four months, bring me something I can sell by then and I'll help you. But until then there is nothing I can do."
Cloud growled and glared angrily at the planner that lay open on Leon's desk. Appointments and red marks were scratched all over it, every moment of Leon's time would be taken up for the next week at least, and Cloud new that most of the pages for the next month looked the same. He had had a hard time getting in to see Leon at all.
"Cloud…I understand what you must be thinking. But you can't blame this all on me, you were the one that decided to become a freelance author." Leon looked at him with sympathy. "My brother owns a small café, I can get him to hire you part-time. That at least will pay the bills till you can show me something ok?"
Cloud nodded and fell back into the squishy leather chair exhaustedly. As Leon picked up the phone to call his brother, Cloud took another look at his manuscript. The big bold letters of the title page blared out at him, as if to mock him. "Song of Desperation" it said. "By Cloud Strife"
"Right, my own song it seems…" A tired sigh escaped Cloud's lips. He had worked on this story for over a year now. It was the best thing he had ever written. It was just over 500 pages and recounted the tale of a lost soul who turned to all modes of magic and science to bring back his dead lover, but was horrified to find that, when he finally succeeded, she came back as a demon. Desperate, he journeyed to hell to bargain with the devil for her soul. He failed, and both of them were sent into the fiery pits of hell to burn together for eternity.
Sure it was a little angsty, but it was a great book. Cloud doubted if he could ever write a finer piece of Literature.
Leon hung up the phone and cleared his throat to get Cloud's attention. "My brother has agreed to hire you part-time. The only condition he had was that you stay at his house."
Cloud looked up in mild confusion. "Stay at his house? Why? I'm not so poor that I can't afford an apartment." That of course, was untrue, he had been evicted this morning, but he wasn't about to let Leon know that.
"Oh come on Cloud, think of it as a blessing, the problem is he cant afford to pay you, but if you stay at his house he'll feed you and you won't have to pay rent. I think that is more than enough until you can make some money on your own."
"So you're saying I work at this guy's café and I get a free room and food?"
"That is exactly what I'm saying."
Cloud sighed and reviewed his options. He could accept this offer and try to write something for Leon, or he could go to another publishing company and probably starve and live on the streets for about a month or more. Currently Leon's offer was the best he had.
"Fine. I'll stay at you're brother's."
Leon nodded and pulled out a piece of paper and pen. "I thought you might, here this is the address. He lives above the café, one of those half business half home kind of things, anyways he's by the college so you'll have access to any information at the library there. From what he said he's only busy in the afternoon and around lunch. And remember, I want an outline for something better in four months ok?"
"Yeah yeah, I got it." Cloud got up and snatched the piece of paper from Leon's hand, scanned the address, and shoved the paper into his pocket. "Thanks Leon, though I still wish you'd have just taken the damn manuscript."
"I'm sorry Cloud."
"Yeah yeah, I know." Cloud responded as he left, slamming the door to Leon's office.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Random idea I had, and I wanted to try a weird partner. Riku and Cloud sounded cool after reading 100 steps to Somewhere by Page of Cups. Anyways, Cloud as an angst author sounded cool, so that's what I made him. Hope you like it.
R&R please, cause if you do, I'll love you forever, and we all know that that is the best thing ever…..plus….I may be able to get you Cloud's autograph!!…maybe…