Why? Why why why? I am the accursed one. All I ever write ever are Soviet fics. /stoned
Anyway, here's some more of your distraught, heart-wrenching, lonely crap that this bright and upbeat person seems so keen on writing.
Thanks to everyone that faved my other stories, and everyone that (for some reason) put a watch on me. Oh, and thanks for the hate mail, too.
This is going to be in chapters. Just…just so you know. I'm not lazy and only writing part of the story, don't worry.
These minutes have been recorded for investigational purposes. The speaker on the tape agreed to be investigated, and allowed recoding to take place on March 15, 1992. All minutes have been transposed to writing for ease of accessibility. Sounds on the tapes, other than voices, have been set off by hyphens. The interviewer's words have been placed in bold font. The interviewer begins the session.
Tape begins at 1300 hours.
-sounds of a chair scraping across the floor-
-man clears his throat-
So, tell me what it was like. Living in that household. What did you do?
It was like this; I woke, I worked, I slept, woke, work, slept. This was life. This was hell. Not the average perception of hell, true. One would normally associate hell with flames and pitchforks, not snowstorms and paperwork. And, all things considered, my life probably was a little better than living in hell. But honestly, what was the difference? The location? The people? No…
It was her. She was what made it different. Her crystal hair, those big, violet eyes, that sparkling white smirk…
But, I digress.
The place was hell, just colder. Much colder. It was as cold as a cup of hot chocolate that had been placed in the freezer for three days.
-laughs-
Cold.
And so nonsensical. So…redundant. If a lifestyle can be called such. My routine was so patterned, so precise, that there were permanent tread marks in the carpet. I took the same steps, everyday, at the same times, everyday. No nonsense. Nothing different.
Did you like it?
Don't get me wrong; organization and routine are two very important things. Without them, where would we be? Back in the Stone Age, I suppose. Living without proper stoves or brooms even, the thought! But this, this was just torture. The good kind of torture. The…less painful kind.
I would say, 'Here, let me describe this one particular day to you!', but every day was so similar, the one I describe could be from any day, of any month, of any number of years. You wouldn't know the difference, would you?
Six-fifteen, on the dot. That was when I would awake. I would slither out of bed, and rush to cram on as many layers of clothing as was humanly possible. (Three shirts, two pairs of slacks, four pairs of socks, two sweaters, two pairs of gloves, some earmuffs, two hats, and a pair of boots.) Then, still frozen to the bone, I would start a fire in the kitchen fireplace. Once I had defrosted, I turned my attention to breakfast.
Eight-thirty, exactly, breakfast was on the table, the kitchen was cleaned, fires were in all the rooms, and clothes had been laid out for the day. Eduard and Ravis entered the kitchen, finished with their morning duties.
Ivan and his sisters would stroll in around nine, if we were lucky. And after an awkwardly quiet meal, (as were all meals in that house, I came to realize) we were off to the races.
I'll spare you the boring details. Needless to say, I cleaned like my life depended on it. Which it did. And by the time I went to bed, I had been awake for more than twenty hours, cleaned the house three times over, done stacks of paperwork, cooked three meals, and somehow managed to repair ripped clothing or shovel the sidewalk. Exhausting? Yes.
Perhaps I didn't notice how wonderful it all actually was. No, I didn't. But I do now, now that it's all over. I had stability. I had something to occupy me. And, I had that dirtiest of all dirty words; family. Not everyone in the house considered our situation to be a family one, but sometimes, it certainly did feel like it.
We occasionally had our days. Ivan would drag us outside for a snowball fight, or we would all gather in the library to read. Ivan, bless his soul, had tried to organize a family game night once, but that…ultimately ended in disaster.
My life was a living hell, don't mistake the facts. But it was a hell with a tiny, miniscule piece of heaven.
She was the one that created the heaven, I just know it. It must have been her…
Who?
I…I have this written down somewhere… hang on.
-papers shuffle-
I try to remember what she was like. Blonde, beautiful. Didn't smile often. But that was alright. I knew she loved me…
Everyone always says that you don't realize what you have until it's gone. That's not true. I knew she was amazing. I knew I couldn't live without her. Even today, I realize how valuable she is.
Of course, her image…isn't as vivid as it used to be.
I try to recall how it felt when she walked by. The air swished. Her scent lingered. She was the type of woman that left her presence in the room, even after she had left. I could feel her always. Once, she came into my room to ask a favor. As she talked, her hands fidgeted with a pen on my desk.
I can still smell her on it today.
I know, I know, I loved her. And it was because…because…
Why?
Oh, hell. I reminded myself to write this down…
-papers shuffling-
….To be quite honest, I don't remember why I loved her. I can't recall one pleasant conversation we ever had. B-but I'm sure there were some! Many.
Lots…
Here. Take a look at this.
What? What…is this?
Describe it.
It's…a picture. Of a family. They look rather…discombobulated.
Do you recognize anyone in the picture?
Myself. There's Ravis and Eduard, there beside me. And that looming man is Ivan. That girl, the small one there, frowning. That's her.
She's even more beautiful than I remember…
Where did you find this?
We have our ways. Do you remember when this was taken?
Right before it was all over. You can tell because we're all tired and frail looking.
…what was her name?
Do you not remember?
…no.
But you remember all the other names?
I do.
What happened? Why…why can't I remember her?
Do you not remember?
…no.
Then you should read this.
-papers shuffle-
-dead air for a few seconds as the papers are read-
I…
Can we take a break? I need to get some air…
Sure.
Tape ends at 25 after 1300 hours.
BAHAHAHAHA.
That was short. XD
I can guarantee at least one more chapter. But if this is total shit, then that's it.
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