Extreme boredom lead to this little crack-fic.

Disclaimer: I neither own the song nor the characters.

-...-

The house, if that's what you could call it, was quiet for once, everyone taking a break from their usual duties. Even the normally loud servants were quiet and relaxing.

"Aah, an afternoon alone with my favorite book, "Broadway Musicals of the 1940s." No noisy servants to bother me. How could it get any better than this?" Spoke one Ciel who was holding up a rather big old book while sitting on the couch.

"Oh,hi Ciel!" Alois yelled coming in and slamming the door close, breaking the silence of the house.

Ciel groaned "Hi Alois." He grumbled not taking his eyes off the book.

"Hey Ciel, you'll never guess what happened to me on the subway this morning." Alois began sitting down next to Ciel.

"What you got finally got a fashion sense?" Ciel asked annoyed.

"What? No. This guy was smiling at me and talking to me."

"Yeah. That's very interesting." Ciel interrupted.

"He was being real friendly, and I think he was coming on to me. I think he might've thought I was gay!" Alois kept going.

Ciel coughed "Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care.

What did you have for lunch today?" He said trying to change the conversation

"Oh, you don't have to get all defensive about it, Cielykins..." Alois said but was interrupted once more but this time rather loudly.

"I'm NOT getting defensive! What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I'm trying to read." Ciel said calming down and picking up his book again.

Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Ciel.

I just think it's something we should be able to talk about." Alois began again.

I don't want to talk about it, Alois! This conversation is over!" Ciel yelled.

"Yeah, but-"

"OVER!" Ciel yelled again

"Well, okay, but just so you know. If you were gay. That'd be okay. I mean 'cause hey I'd like you anyway. Because you see, if it were me, I would feel free to say that I was gay." Alois sang. "But I'm not gay." As he sang this he tapped Ciel's nose.

"Alois, please! I am trying to read...What?!" Ciel yelled after he saw the look Alois gave him.

"If you were queer." He sang after a moment.

"Ah, Alois!"

"I'd still be here." He went on.

"Alois, I'm trying to read this bloody book." Ciel said gripping the book tightly.

"Year after year!" The blonde sang

"Alois!" Ciel growled

"Because you're dead to me,"

"Argh!"

"And I know that you,"

"What?" Ciel asked looking at his friend who was standing in front of him.

"Would accept me too," The boy sang

Ciel scoffed "I would?"

"If I told you today, HEY! Guess what! I'm gay! But I'm not gay." Alois said "I'm happy. Just being with you."

Ciel just stared and said "I can choose my pal Sebastian..."

"So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with guys!" Alois said grinning at Ciel's disgusted face.

"Alois, that's GROSS!" The blunette cried obviously disgusted.

"No it's not!" Alois yelled back "If you were gay. I'd shout hooray!" He threw his hands up.

"I am not listening!" Ciel said getting up and going into the kitchen.

"And here I'd stay!" Alois followed him still singing.

Ciel covered his ears "La la la la la!"

"But I wouldn't get I your way!"

The younger boy screamed "Aaaah!"

"You can count on me, to always be beside you everyday. To tell you it's okay! You were just born that way, and as they say it's in your DNA!" Alois sang the tempo to the song getting faster. "You're gay!"

"BUT I'M NOT GAY!" Ciel yelled his face red with anger and embarrassment.

"If you were gay." Alois said matter-of-factly.

"Argh!" Ciel threw his hands up in exasperation.

So whatcha think? Review and tell me!