From the writer of Michel's List comes - Marry Me Hamhock!
Pairing: David Karofsky and Kurt Hummel
Rating: T (Just in case. I don't think it warrants an M.)
Disclaimer: Ryan Murphy is a genius. I don't own anything Glee.
Note: I'm trying to stay true to the characters and their personalities, but I feel that maybe Kurt got a bit over emotional on me. Opinions are welcome.
Reviews: If you're reading this, like any other story, you better be reviewing it. Reviews are love people! They encourage authors not just to write on this one shot, but to continue writing on other stories, so please be kind and REVIEW!
Marry Me, Hamhock!
The self-assured, confident front Kurt Hummel put forth to the rest of the world was nothing more than a smoke screen. Only those people that knew Kurt very well knew that he was almost pathologically self-conscious - always second guessing his decisions, always striving for perfection. So, why then should asking his boyfriend of 3+ years, David Karofsky, to marry him be any different? Of course, he had agonized over the perfect proposal. He wanted it to be romantic, but not overly so because even though David showed him the gentle side of his personality a large part of his boyfriend was still very much the jock that he had been back at McKinley High. Currently, Kurt was leaning toward a walk through Central Park, stopping at his favorite fountain, sitting on a bench and sharing a cold beverage, and then discreetly giving the most important speech of his life.
Before that however, Kurt had to brave this one little outing with David and his co-workers. True to the vision they'd shared that day at the hospital David had become a successful sports agent. Frequently, his company got him tickets to games and asked him to stake out new talent. David had never insisted that Kurt go to these games. In fact, David had never insisted that Kurt do anything that he didn't want to do and for that Kurt truly loved him. He often felt like it was David's way of making up for the fact that he'd caused Kurt so much grief in the past. Lately, however, Kurt had noticed that not sharing such a large part of himself bothered his boyfriend. Kurt was sure that David was misinterpreting his absences. David probably though that Kurt had no interest in sports while the real reason that Kurt didn't want to go to these events or meet David's coworkers was because he had an irrational fear of embarrassing David.
Yet here he was wearing a Yankee jersey and walking next to David who held a large drink in his hand and had a stupid grin on his face. Kurt was actually dressed quite muted for the occasion. Along with the jersey he sported plain jeans, white tennis shoes, and a baseball cap. He couldn't even remember a time before today when his hair hadn't held some sort of gel product, yet here he was making these large sacrifices just so he could see that stupid smile on David's face. The old Kurt would have demanded that David take his hand and let everyone know that they were together, gay, out, proud, but this new Kurt was doing everything possible to conform and make this experience pleasant for David.
David's coworkers were already in the stands when Kurt and David found their seats. David greeted them and introduced Kurt who mumbled a quiet hello and firmly shook hands with each of the five guys. Kurt caught the glances that all of them exchanged. David either didn't notice or chose not to notice. David sat Kurt between himself and a guy named Adam. Kurt turned his attention to the game and focused hard on what he was watching his face screwed up in concentration. David would lean in every few minutes and try to explain to Kurt a play that had just occurred. The excitement in his boyfriend's voice should have been enough for Kurt, but he was just so upset with himself that he didn't have a clue what David was talking about. At some point during the game, Adam turned and asked him a question about the score and Kurt made up an answer. Kurt had to admit that he felt really stupid in that moment, and it wasn't a pleasant feeling. Despite how hard Kurt tried he couldn't make the little voice of doubt inside of his head keep quiet. What kind of future did he and David have together? Could two people that were so completely different truly build a life together?
Somewhere midway through the game, Kurt got up and whispered to David that he needed something to drink. In reality, he needed fresh air and a chance to clear his head. The other men were shooting him looks that he just can't ignore anymore. He visited the restroom, stood in line and bought a soda, and was on his way back when he caught sight of Adam and another of David's colleagues whose name escaped him at the moment. He could hear what Adam was saying. "I had no idea that David kept company with fags. What the hell do they have in common anyway? The flaming homo looks more like a girl than my daughter and he has no fucking clue about baseball. I asked him if the fourth strike had fallen and he actually answered me." Kurt didn't exactly know why the tears were falling from his eyes. He had heard much, much worse in his life, but here he was crying. He wished the ground would just open up and swallow him. The situation was amplified significantly when David stepped up to Adam and mystery colleague dude to ask them if they'd seen Kurt. David then looked up his eyes finding Kurt's right away. He saw the terror and pain in Kurt's expression. That was when Kurt couldn't handle it any longer. He turned and ran away from the stadium, away from David. Kurt herd David shouting after him, but he couldn't stop running.
When Kurt was gone, David turned toward Adam fighting to suppress the anger that was boiling up inside of him. What the hell had happened? He thought they were having fun. He couldn't believe how calm his voice was when he addressed Adam inquiring what happened. When Adam copped up to what he'd said and admitted that Kurt probably heard him, David was surprised that he didn't destroy Adam on the spot. Instead, he calmly walked to the stands collected his things and made his apologies to his boss explaining that Kurt had felt sick and embarrassed and had left in a hurry and David was worried about him and had to go find him. His boss was very understanding if not a little surprised that David was leaving during such a big Yankees game with such great seats. However, something in the way that George's eyes danced with laughter despite his stern expression as he excused David told David that he understood the back story that David wasn't telling him. More importantly George was okay with it. That knowledge eased David's mind. It wasn't like he'd intentionally tried to hide the fact that he was gay from his boss or his coworkers. David was actually really proud of how far he'd come in embracing himself and who he was. He just felt like it was never the right time to interject that part of himself into the conversation. If David allowed himself a moment to think about it, as he raced out of the stadium he would admit he wasn't surprised. George had seen just about everything in his life and nothing shocked him anymore. David didn't have time to think about George at the moment. He had to find Kurt!
Kurt didn't know how long he ran he just kept running until he reached a subway station beside Yankee Stadium. He sat down on the train and just rode it for hours and hours. Silent tears streaming down his cheeks. He knew he was headed down a negative spiral inside of his mind. He should call one of his girls or Blaine to talk it through, to put things into perspective, but he just couldn't. At first his heart had been slamming into his chest erratically, but then it had slowed down so much that he dramatically wondered if it had stopped beating all together. When at some point a little old lady sitting next to him patted his hand in comfort, he just broke and practically told her his life story. It was like something out of Forest Gump, seriously. She smiled at him and gave him courage by saying that he should talk to David and then he would see that things aren't so bad. When he finally climbed off of the subway, at the stop two blocks away from David's apartment, night had fallen and it was raining. Kurt walked slowly toward David's apartment letting the rain soak through his clothes and reach his skin hoping that it would wash away his doubts, but they were only amplified. When he got to the door, he hesitated, his hand on the buzzer, his heartbeat pounding in his ears. Steven, the doorman, noticed him and buzzed him in before Kurt could even push the button. Trudging past Steven and to the elevator, Kurt looked back at Steven apologetically for the trail of water he was leaving on the floor.
Standing in the elevator, Kurt could not help focus on the drip, drip, drip of the water droplets that fall from his clothes and hit the floor, or the ding the elevator made as it passed from one floor to another. Finally, the elevator stopped on the third floor. The door opened, and Kurt hesitated for a moment before stepping off. Very slowly he walked down the hallway toward David's apartment. As he did, he thought about what he would say to his boyfriend, the walls that he erected since the subway started crumbling once again, and the tears started streaming down his face. It wasn't just that he's sure he's embarrassed David in front of his coworkers because he's sure he has, or the fact that he knew that David will forgive him instantly for it. It was the deeper question of whether he and David had any sort of future together that made Kurt's throat tighten as his hand knocked on the door.
'Please don't be home. Please!' Kurt beged inwardly just as the door was pulled open and David stood in front of him. Kurt's eyes roamed over his boyfriend's body. He was wearing black sweats and a loose, well-worn, gray NYU t-shirt. His hair was tussled from a recent shower and his eyes look weary and exhausted, but filled with relief. Time seemed to stand still for a moment and Kurt's heart hitched in its chest. 'He's so sexy,' Kurt had time to think before David's arm shot forward and wrapped around his forearm dragging him against David's large, warm, hard body.
Kurt didn't realize how cold he was until David's heat was surrounding him. He was being pulled into David's apartment as the door closed behind him. His very wet body was pressed between the closed door and David's broad chest. He heard David growl, "stupid idiot," against his lips before David's mouth was devouring his own, so that Kurt had no choice but to kiss back. Finally, after very long minutes, in which Kurt heard the locks on the door click, Kurt found himself in David's arms as his boyfriend carried him through the hallway, through his bedroom and into his bathroom. David carefully set Kurt down on the rug as if he truly was made of porcelain and weighed nothing but air. David returned moments later carrying a towel a clean t-shirt and a pair of boxers. He still didn't say anything. He simply handed the items to Kurt and closed the door behind him. Kurt was left standing in the middle of David's bathroom clutching the towel to his chest for what seemed like an eternity before he begins to strip.
All David wanted to do was yell at him because he had never been so scared in his life. Kurt had never not answered his phone calls, had never done something like this. He was prepared to explode on his boyfriend just as he heard the knock on the door. He prepared himself for the confrontation as he yanks the door open, but one look at the broken Kurt standing in front of him face red from the cold, eyes puffy from the tears and the words died in David's throat. His heart beats picked up speed like a runaway train each beat slammed hard against his ribcage. 'Kurt was here to break up with him.' As the thought flew into his head, all the fight was suddenly sucked out of David. He doesn't know how he accomplished getting Kurt in the shower without breaking into irrational sobs. He won't cry! He won't! David had felt for weeks like Kurt was distant and more unsure of himself than usual. He had brushed it off as stress from auditions and interviews. They were fine! Weren't they?
David was numb but he forced himself to pull out his phone and send a quick text message to Blaine. When he hadn't been able to find Kurt, he'd sent text messages to Rachel, Finn and finally Blaine. Though David knew in his heart of hearts that there was nothing romantic between Blaine and Kurt any longer, he wasn't sure that standing next to Blaine he would ever feel like the right choice. Still Blaine honestly loved Kurt's soul and how could David in good conscience forbid that or stand in the way of it. David felt the terrible stabbing feeling in his heart. Was he loosing Kurt to Blaine again? He knew that was a battle he could not win. Blaine was the better choice. Just as David had begun to think he was not above begging Kurt was standing in front of him, dry and washed, and looking incredibly small. David's living room suddenly felt like the expanse of the Universe was encompassed in that space yet there was nowhere to run.
"Can we talk?" Kurt said hesitantly as he wrung his hands together. David noticed that his purple NYU t-shirt that Kurt was wearing was huge on him. It almost went down to his knees and covered the maroon cotton, boxers completely. Kurt's pale skin was even more contrasted against the mismatched clothing. Somehow David offered Kurt his answer in the form of a nod as he motioned toward the black leather couch on which he was sitting. As Kurt tentatively walked toward the other end and took a seat, David caught a whiff of his very masculine musky shampoo and body gel on his boyfriend's delicate skin and it drove him mad with desire. He griped the arm rest on his end of the couch exhaling a very slow breath.
Kurt's eyes flicked to David's hand hesitantly. 'He's angry with me, disappointed,' Kurt thought as he inhaled slowly. Kurt opened his mouth to speak, but David cut him off. "Kurt, please..." The pleading tone in David's voice surprises Kurt. The next time David spoke he turned his head and locked his eyes with Kurt's. His voice was much more calm than either of them expected. "You can talk to me about anything. You know that," David finally said and Kurt heard the resignation in his voice. It wasn't at all what Kurt expected. There was so many things that Kurt loved about David, but one of them really was that he could tell David anything.
"I'm so sorry," Kurt finally blurted out after a strained moment of silence.
David looked like he'd been sucker punched and stared at Kurt with complete and utter confusion. "For what?" he finally manages to choke, but Kurt was too preoccupied by his own emotions that he couldn't really pick up on David's.
"I tried," Kurt finally wailed as he raised his eyes back to David and David noticed that they were filled with unshed tears. The knife in his gut turned and he made a motion to slide down the couch toward Kurt before his boyfriend's outstretched hand stopped him. He gripped the arm rest of the sofa tighter. "I tried to be someone you could be proud of," Kurt said a lot more quietly, a lot more evenly this time, "but all I did was embarrass you. All I ever do is embarrass you." His voice caught on that last statement and the tears began to fall down his cheeks again. Through his blurry vision Kurt regarded David regarding him. David took one slow breath and then another reaching his hand down to the base of the couch to pick up a football.
"You don't embarrass me, Kurt. Adam told me what he said. He shouldn't have said it," there was such force and passion in his statement and his hand flexed harder on the couch, knuckles turning white. "I don't know how you could ever think that you embarrass me, that I was anything but so, so proud to be with you." David drew a ragged breath. "Oh God," he said focusing hard on the ball in his hands, "you really still see me as nothing more than that high school jock who threw you against the lockers." There was such hatred and disdain and hopelessness for himself in David's tone of voice that Kurt sprung off of his side of the couch and straddled David almost instantly. The football fell to the ground. David's hands instinctively rested on Kurt's hips a look of shock in his blue eyes.
"Oh no David," Kurt's voice was breathless as he captured David's lips tenderly and brushed his thumb along David's jaw line. There was so much love and reverence in the way Kurt looked at his boyfriend. "You're the only person who accepts me completely for what I am and loves exactly that. I feel so very blessed that you chose to love me." A small smile played across Kurt's lips before he touched them against David's again. David's hands tightened on Kurt's hip bone his gaze trapped by Kurt's unearthly blue eyes.
"Thank God," David let out the breath he'd been holding and its minty smell ghosts over Kurt's face. "I thought you were breaking up with me." Hearing his boyfriend admit that broke his heart a little. How could David, after all of their time together, still think that he wasn't good enough for Kurt? As Kurt thought about it a little more he realized that maybe that was the magic in all long term relationships that the individuals in them didn't get complacent. That maybe it was good if David thought that he wasn't good enough for Kurt, but what surprised Kurt was that David didn't even stop to consider that Kurt felt the same.
"Baby," Kurt's voice was filled with emotion when he speaks the endearment. "I will never leave you by choice," and then he hesitated a little and dropped his gaze, "but if you wanted to leave me," Kurt's voice shook and he shook his head to clear his eyes of the tears that were quickly gathering in them. "Please do it now because I think now there might be a small, if infinitesimal hope for me to glue myself together afterwards, but one more day with you," Kurt's voice is throaty and breathless, "will be the end of me." There was such conviction in his words, the way he squared his shoulders and lifted his jaw that David couldn't suppress the growl of frustration that rose in his throat. David's hand darted around Kurt's neck and he pulled Kurt's chest flush against his devouring his mouth.
Kurt was breathless and helpless to the onslaught of David's lips, and when they moved from his own to kiss his cheeks down the side of his neck to his pulse point he arched his back his chest pressing against David's. "I love you, Fancy," he heard the words slip from David's lips and it was like they were torn from his very soul in a half groan, half moan. Kurt's heart swelled at the nickname. The next second David's lips were kissing his own again, and David was whispering against his mouth. "I'm never leaving you, ever."
"But David," Kurt's voice was strangled as it escapes his throat. "We're so...we're so different," and that's all that Kurt could say. He wasn't sure if it's a statement or a question, but he definitely and desperately needs a response from his lover.
"Fancy, go get me that football," David said after a moment. Kurt gave him a questioning look, but obliged. Climbing back onto David's lap with the football in hand seconds later. He handed it to David, who shook his head indicating that Kurt should hold onto it. Now, Kurt was terribly confused and terribly worried. Leave it to David to use a sports reference which would probably go completely over his head. "This ball represents why we are going to be okay," David spoke slowly and now Kurt was completely lost. "Look at the way you're holding that," Kurt obliged and noticed that his fingers were on the back end of the ball, between the laces, grip firm. He looked at David confused. Was he doing it wrong? David had taught him himself. There was no way Kurt could be doing it wrong. When that notion flew into his head his eyes were suddenly riveted to David's as the realization slammed into him. David's words completing his suspicions.
"Do you remember when I taught you how to throw that ball, Fancy?" Kurt nodded. "Do you remember how hard you tried?" Kurt nodded again. "Even though it was probably very, very low on your list of things you ever wanted to do. You still gave it 110% because it mattered to me," David's voice hitched as he said that. His gaze turned to the end table next to the couch where Kurt's script sat dog-eared and highlighted. Kurt remembered opening night of his new play about a month ago, his first lead role on Broadway, he'd messed up a line and David had gone over the entire script with him again. They'd stayed up all night rehearsing. Kurt's eyes focused on the ball again just as David's voice floated into his ears. "Turn it over," the command was soft and Kurt rotated the ball catching sight of his signature scrawled across one side of it. His eyes filled up with tears as he remembered that day David had insisted on getting his autograph not just to commemorate a wonderful day at the park, but because he wanted Kurt's signature first for when his boyfriend became famous he could say that he knew him best.
"It's our differences that make us strong. As long as we're there for each other, support each other, trust each other implicitly, love each other completely, there isn't anything we can't do...together. And, with you Kurt, Fancy, I'm not afraid to try anything new or to be myself because I know, I know that you are the missing piece of me. I think I've always known it, and I love you so much, so much," David's thumbs were now rubbing Kurt's cheeks and that's how he felt the tears streaming from his boyfriends eyes. Kurt's eyes were still trained on the football. 'Well,' David thought, 'it's all or nothing now,' and he whispered, "you complete me."
What David didn't expect was for Kurt to leap off his lap and run into his bedroom. He sat there for a moment shocked. Here he was bearing his soul to Kurt. He knew that Kurt knew how he felt, but David had never much been one for words. Kurt was always the vocal one, always the more dramatic one, but this time David had decided to put himself out there. Was it too much? Should he have kept quite? Before he could ponder those questions Kurt came racing back into the room and stood in front of him. David looked up to meet his boyfriends gaze. Kurt's ethereal blue eyes were dancing with joy, his face was flushed, and he looked just like a kid who had just opened his presents on Christmas morning. The look was absolutely infectious. David felt his face pull into a smile as he asked hesitantly, "everything alright Fancy?"
Kurt heard David's question and barely managed to shake his head before he dropped to one knee in front of his boyfriend. David's words had made him realize that there was no one perfect moment to ask his boyfriend to marry him because every moment with David was special. With David, he really felt alive and completely free to be himself. With David, he felt fearless and vulnerable at the same time. With David, Kurt was sure that he wasn't just loved, but truly seen. "Kurt, baby," David's hesitant voice pulled him from his thoughts, "you're scaring me."
"David," Kurt said finally meeting David's gaze his voice completely breathless. "Hamhock, marry me?" It was David's turn to be totally blown away now as Kurt pulled the small black box from behind his back and opened it. Laying it in his shaking palm. "I love you," Kurt's voice shook. "I love you so very desperately. I've tried, I've tried these last few weeks to find the perfect time and place to ask, but you just made me realize that there is no one prefect time or place to ask because every moment with you is complete. I was so scared and all those fears came to a head at the game today when I knew I could never be like your coworkers, like Adam, and maybe I am nothing more than a emotionally dramatic ferry, but I swear to you that I will love you with everything that I am until my last breath." Kurt was breathless after delivering his speech, but not at all surprised that when he focused on David completely the right words came immediately, naturally, and impulsively.
A plethora of emotions crossed over David's features. He nodded his head slowly as with a strangled voice he said. "Yes, Fancy, I would be so proud to be your husband."
Then Kurt was sliding the ring on his finger, and of course it fit perfectly because wasn't it just like Kurt. He didn't have time to consider how Kurt ever knew his size. Kurt's thumbs were brushing the tears from his cheeks and David didn't even realize they were there. Kurt's whispering, "don't cry, Hamhock. Don't cry." Then David was kissing his fiancé with all the passion he had in him. Somehow they ended up on the floor. Kurt's body was pressed between his hard chest and the floor. David couldn't keep his hands off of every inch of Kurt's beautiful skin. His lips worshiped every creamy white fragment. Kurt hips were grinding against his own. Kurt's needy hot breath ghosted across his cheek as his lips pressed close to David's ear whispering, "David, I need..." David could barely ask him what he needed and when he heard Kurt's words it striped away the last shred of doubt and self-control. "I need my fiancé to make love to me. Please, Hamhock," Kurt's whisper was muffled against David's collarbone as he felt himself lifted off the ground. His legs instantly wraped tightly around David's waste as his fiancé, the thought of it made Kurt's smile widen impossibly, took him to bed.