Is anyone still around in this fandom? I must confess-I never watched Men in Trees. I have gone back and watched the episodes involving the Julia character. I did this because Kelli Williams is made of awesome! I would love to write more for this show, but all the fics will be Julia centered. If this interests any of you, let me know!
She knows she can't stay awake forever. She also knows if she closes her eyes, she'll see him again. He's always there when she closes her eyes, staring at her with a look that haunts her. He was strangely at peace. He wanted them to let him go. He knew he was dying. But, this knowledge does not make her feel better. She will always feel like there was something more she could have, should have done.
He was hurt after the first big wave had knocked the ship. Everyone was in a mad scramble. She didn't know where the other crew members went. Jack had helped her get up and then went to grab the life rafts. She saw Gary on the floor of the main cabin. He was barely conscious. She grabbed onto him and kept his head out of the water. The ship lurched sideways and they both slid across the cabin. They were wedged under the table. She remembered an older life raft she had seen stored in the bench seat near them. She made sure Gary was secure and went to the bench. The raft was there. She pulled it out and pushed the button for it to inflate. She needed to get Gary into it while they could still get out through the window of the cabin. It was filling up fast as the ship dove slowly under the surface.
She was barely able to get him into the raft. He came to and wanted her to leave him then. He kept telling her to grab supplies and to leave him to take care of himself. She wouldn't do it. Gary was the closest friend she'd had for a while, almost like a brother to her. No way would she leave him there to surely die. They had just gotten out through the window when the cabin area they had been in went under the surface. She had managed to grab a bottle of water and the oar for the raft.
She thinks about what would have happened if they hadn't managed to meet up with Jack. Gary would have probably died in front of her. She would likely have drowned once the raft had deflated completely and left her in the rough sea.
Sometimes she wishes they would not have met up with Jack. She thinks maybe if she had not survived she wouldn't be riddled with guilt. Guilt because she's alive and Gary isn't.