Jake watched the revolving ceiling fan. It made slow rounds over his head, caught between stopping and trying to keep itself running. It wasn't healthy to mope about like some sort of lump. But here he was, listening to the winds beat against his window and birds actually have energy in the expanse behind it. He remembered then how Dirk liked to attempt chirping back at the birds...

Dirk... That name made his heart start to flutter, then it began contorting in pain. The blond had wanted nothing more than for him to be safe. Even if they did practically break-up, it turned out they still wanted each other. It took strength not to go back out to the living room and await his lover like he had. Denial at its finest.

He then started to sit up from being on his back for who knows how long. He was a little lightheaded from not moving much beforehand. Grumbling and then resting his elbows on his upper legs, the dark-haired boy was unsure how to do anything at the moment. What was life? Dirk had been able to answer that.

*I*I*I*I*

"Jake, what are you doing?" The built male slid onto the dining room chair next to his crush.

The dark-haired had been bored when Dirk had left for the store. That led to the continuation of his puzzle that the older couldn't care less about.

And that was still the case. Dirk pouted slightly and scooted their chairs so they were touching. That led to their legs as well, scaring the opposing a bit. He felt things could be moving too quickly between them even after this long. But then again, he worried too much sometimes.

The dark-washed jeans felt funny against his pale legs, but calming also. Jake tried to make out coherent thoughts as the breath near his cheek started to fuzz out his brain, "Making a puzzle. I think you should know what that is."

Dirk gave a chuckle that surprisingly didn't cause Jake to melt in his seat. The arm that was resting next to his moved forward. As the shorter boy put down another puzzle piece, he found a couple of the fingers "walking" up his arm towards his hand. It was awfully quiet, so he kept it that way and pretended he didn't notice the cheesy display. Eventually the hand was nearly at his own and stopped.

They watched each other curiously for a moment before laughing awkwardly. Suddenly the puzzle was merely in the background. Strider stroked his thumb against the other's inner hand until the held piece was subconsciously dropped. It lightly made a noise, but that went unnoticed. Soon they were closer than what was used to usually.

But all was well as they at last met eyes. That made this too intimate, but then Jake grew embarrassed. He was scared to do anything with his boyfriend. The farthest they've gone so far was kissing. Before it got too overwhelming, they broke it apart usually.

He knew from the look on his partner's face they would be trying something different. Rather than the usual approach, the fingers gingerly wove in-between Jake's. It was odd that they were looking at each other this way and not able to break apart. He could really feel the intensity behind those crazy shades. The other began to lean in, but he pulled away and faced his boyfriend with a strong gaze, "No... not until you take off those sunglasses. It's really quite rude..."

The older sighed, then slowly reached up. Instead of complaining, the shades were discarded and placed upside down onto the wooden table gently. Dirk was now fairly naked in his own eyes, but wanted to prove he would be the best he could be. Anything that Jake wanted, he would gladly give in to. Being into this boy for long enough, it made sense he wanted everything to happen so suddenly.

But he was alright with waiting for the nerd to become comfortable with this whole thing. If he wouldn't be careful, he could potentially ruin this whole thing. That would kill him if nothing else did.

Biting his lower lip, he gradually built up the yearning to look at Jake. Once theirs eyes truly met, he allowed a gentle smile. He rarely removed his precious shades, so this was interesting for the younger. At last they leaned back towards each other. The hues in honey-glazed eyes danced from the overhead lighting, same with the vibrant green.

Mesmerized, they slowly leaned even further forward, rewarding one another with a kiss. It was simple and it broke apart easily, but by the invisible pull of wanting, they were back at it. Again and again. They stayed mostly innocent, but with Strider's sudden shift in his seat, he pulled English onto his lap. Their lips were starting to feel as if they were meant to be molded together.

Jake forgot about his rule to taking things at his own pace, allowing those hands to explore his body. The feel was marvelous, and he moaned softly as they played under his shirt and on his chest. He should have allowed this earlier! Fighting to keep their breaths, the teens eventually had to pull apart. Dirk had a flush and a very disconcerting glint present in his gaze.

It confused the smaller until he shifted on the lap. He had moved enough to feel something unavoidable.

Growing embarrassed this time, the blond sighed gently and rested the side of his head against the body. The hands moved to the back of the shirt. Still teasing across the smooth skin, he traced words over the skin. Eventually they retreated after he felt satisfied enough, falling to the slightly jutting hips at last. "I live for the opportunities to see you. I take every single one, you know."

That was a bit unexpected, but Jake would gladly take that, "So do I..." He gave a sigh of his own and ran his fingers through the silky locks, "You like confusing me, don't you?"

That caused Strider to pull up his head and them to be more level, "What do you mean by that?"

Jake rolled his eyes at the usual defensive behavior, "You know exactly what I mean." Waiting for some sort of answer, he gave up, "Lately you've been going back and forth between wanting me to be near you, or wanting distance." It didn't make much sense, because he was more than certain the other boy wanted him. Personally he was okay with a little distance sometimes, though.

"I just don't want you to get hurt..." Murmured Dirk as he noticed the look in his crush's eyes. Grasping the hand within his own once again, "But I promise I'll always be right here for you. No matter what."

The younger gave in and leaned forward to peck the other, swerving and kissing the defined cheek. Hopping off his perch on the lap, Jake grinned and backed up. That caused the other to shoot up from the wooden chair, nearly having it knock backwards. This was becoming dangerous territory, despite their matching grins. The taller got to his love before the teen could escape the room, pinning him to the floor.

Instead of more kissing, he got tickled all over instead. Okay, he deserved that much. He was continuously fed more cheesy lines, but he barely noticed them at this point, nearly in laughing tears. Only Dirk could get away with doing this to him, and he didn't mind it... But his flailing limbs weren't held responsible for any injuries.

*I*I*I*I*

Jake got up from his bed and looked around. Padding over to his computer, he fought the urge to check chat. No, it wasn't like there would be any messages from Dirk. His mind wanted him to be more miserable or something. Eventually giving in, he sat down and scooted up to the desk.

The space on his desk was starting to become nonexistent. Usually he didn't get so bad with little chores such as this, but the whole loss was tearing him apart. No matter what anyone had tried telling him lately, it barely swayed him. If he was truly loved, Dirk would have made sure to stay in touch.

It didn't matter how, but if Dirk typed his previous messages back, he may die on the spot. The guilt that this felt like all his fault was quite present. He was unsure how to prove he could change from this antisocial loser to a boyfriend again was beyond him.

The computer was clicked on, but he was nervous to check the screen. He had written both loving and pleading messages. This was probably turning into stalkerish behavior, since he started checking what Dirk was up to via the others as well. They told him basically the same deal- to move on and that other guys would be more understanding. That his tendencies were fine, and his old boyfriend was being that way because of how he felt he was better than Jake.

That was a lie, because he knew exactly how the older felt of him. At least, back when they were together.

*I*I*I*I*

Panting, Dirk flopped down besides Jake, then pulled up the blankets over them. They actually did finish what they initially started. And neither regretted it. The fact that they hadn't done this sooner was a bother to the mind. Instead of thinking of the past, the paler teen snuggled up on the slightly sweaty chest.

It was odd how much they put in the previous declaration of love, yet it was the first time. For both of them. When it was right for both of them, they would have done this. And it was oh-so-right.

Dirk gave a far-off chuckled and stroked a hand through the messy hair, "What was that about going really slowly with this, again?"

"Shut up," breathed Jake, gradually getting enough strength to move so he lay on top of the older boy.

They gave weak and loving kisses, both hands back into the locks now. Tugging on them now, Dirk didn't let them pull apart all that much. Their foreheads touched now as they looked at each other up close. The slight tears that Jake had shed in pain were gone. But the seductive look stayed, and even the buck teeth that were poking out in the smile, were tempting the blond back into this.

What would happen to them, though? Was this a good way to insure they stayed together? Jake finally said the three words that made Dirk pin him right back onto the bed. He would say them right back, after each act he incredibly willing to create all over again.

He loved Jake so, so much. It ironically fueled why he broke it off with his lover days later.

*I*I*I*I*

The dark-haired nearly gave up, but suddenly a pop-up noise filled the area. Curiously Jake opened the chat. It was from none other than his ex. Hopefully soon to be once again lover? The chances looked pretty good after he read the message, Do you need anything from the store?

Doing his best not to break down, Jake thought of a good reply. Or attempted to. His mind was racing at the thought of Dirk actually using their secret code. Usually there was also some store supplies along with the blond whenever they used this in their prior relationship, but mainly it was just so Dirk could come over without seeming too clingy. Even though he really was, honestly.

Maybe Jake liked that, though... He had to think of something from the store to answer with, but failed in sounding witty. He didn't like keeping the other waiting, so at last he got an idea that sounded stupid personally, Something that can turn back time.

I have yet to see something like that, but you can have the next best thing. The glasses-clad male barely believed his eyes, did that mean- Give me the benefit of the doubt and pretend we never broke up, I nearly cried reading your messages when I received them. I am sorry, I was just scared about how we would end up if we tried all over again. It took me this long because I am a coward, and am not handling this situation like a cool guy.

It should be Jake who should be groveling like that, but he still felt soothed. Like cat who had its fur brought up the wrong way, then patted back down in long and loving strokes. He shakily typed the next line, You are probably lying to make me feel better, but thank you anyways. Come over soon, love you. It shouldn't have been so bad to add the "I", but he was nervous putting that at the end regardless.

No. Oh, that stung more than it should have. Jake really didn't think that last reply through anyways. Who was he to- I would never do that to you. Yes I will be there shortly. There was some more idling before, Oh, I love you, too, Jake English.

The boy sighed with relief and sat back in his office chair. He decided to give just one more reply, though, We are stuck with each other for some time, are we not?

Indeed, but why would I complain? I would not have it any other way. Jake imagined his renewed boyfriend sitting behind the computer, grinning so subtly until his lips couldn't hide it any longer. Just like the younger was now, except his eyes were visibly twinkling as well.