Greetings once again readers! Didn't think I'd get this out the same day but I just started writing and I couldn't stop. There is just so much for Quinn that hasn't been said. Anyways this will be posted twice. As it is in the same world as This Was Supposed to be Our Year this is going to be an interlude chapter for that fic. I'm also posting this as a stand-alone story. I might have it run parallel to my other fic but I'll most likely just combine the two. But this particular chapter was just inspiring to write. Getting into Quinn's head for the last hour or so was really angsty but I couldn't stop writing it.

The usual disclaimer applies: "I don't own anything that pertains to Fox's Glee"

This Was Supposed to Be Our Year

Quinnterlude:

Part 1 - Quinncapable of Feeling

I'm heavily broken and I don't know what to do

Can't you see that I'm choking and I can't even move

When there's nothing left to say what can you do?

I'm heavily broken… and I don't know what to do

- "Heavily Broken" - The Veronicas

Quinn was well aware of the stares she received, the blatantly open gawking and double takes. Her apathetic demeanour didn't show the mental smirk at the shock and scandal her new look has brought to the halls of McKinley High. After all this was a new year. And with a new year came a new Quinn.

She felt freer than she had in a long time

No more living up to Daddy's expectations. He was a bastard and he was gone now. Russell Fabray's tyrannical self-righteous presence didn't shadow her or her family's home anymore; Quinn didn't know why it took so long to realize that. He hadn't even lived there for well over a year. She stopped believing that living up to his "moral code" would bring any sense of normalcy back into her life. Being on the Cheerios and going back to the Celibacy Club didn't make her Daddy's little girl again. Hell Daddy didn't even like her before the nose job. Before she became Quinn Fabray.

Passing by her former glee club members, each looking at her in awe and disbelief, she looked straight head, not sparing them a single glance of acknowledgement.

No more worrying about this picture perfect princess image. Thanks to that bitch Zizes, the whole school now knows that before the invincible and beautiful Quinn Fabray, HBIC, there was plain old Lucy Caboosey; the girl who hated herself so much that she utterly destroyed that person in order to start again. Of course Lauren's big campaign backfired; it blew over and half the school still believes it's a bad photoshop job but the revelation served its purpose. People had that picture of Lucy in their minds when they saw Quinn now. Everybody who found out the truth in glee now saw that weak little girl who took all the wrong roads just to feel loved.

Quinn took out a sharpie, the photo of Figgans outside his office being the latest victim to her new illegal hobby.

No more trying so hard for the perfect quarterback boyfriend. Sam, Puck and Finn all made it clear that she was definitely not girlfriend material. They ran from her the first chance they got. Finn even left her twice for Rachel. That cut her more deeply then she'll ever admit.

"We're not going to Color-me-mine. And I'm not your boyfriend"

Quinn took out a cigarette, holding it out expectantly as one of her fellow Skanks pulled out a lighter for her. Once it was lit, she inhaled.

"That feeling that Sue was talking about in there about being tethered to someone? I just... I don't feel that way about you."

She exhaled, watching the smoke rise in front of her.

"Don't you FEEL ANYTHING ANYMORE?"

Dwelling on those memories didn't do anything for her anymore. Quinn remembered crying when Finn said that to her. She distinctly remembered locking herself in her room and bawling until she had no more tears left to cry. She scoffed at how pathetic she was. She didn't need to be fucking tethered to anybody. She was done with that.

When the Skanks got bored and suggested that they find some poor sap to beat the shit out of for money, Quinn joined in without a second thought. Finn was right. She didn't feel anything. Why should she pretend that she did?

She failed everything she set out to do the previous year. Everything she did was to try to get a semblance of who she was before Be- before they lost Regionals over a year ago. After the glee club was left with 12th place at nationals and they all returned to Lima, Quinn kept asking herself "What's the point of trying anymore?"

All the life lessons Mr. Schuester spat out hadn't helped her at all and she was left with nothing. Again.

The girl that was once Lucy Fabray; she was miserable in her own skin, unconfident and unpretty, always feeling the void of popularity and friendship. That pathetic excuse of a girl ultimately gave up being herself, in order to become Quinn Fabray, the head cheerleader and the envy of everybody who saw her. She had the perfect life, best friends who actually hung out with her and didn't mock her, parents who took pride in everything she did, a quarterback boyfriend who followed her every command. And yet it managed to all fall apart. No matter what she did, the people in her life left her. She had a ba- No she was pregnant. she overcame that hill and never looked back.

She came so far, Quinn thought to herself as she finally got home way past the curfew her mom set out for her. Judy Fabray was nowhere to be seen, fearful of her daughter's new appearance but even more frightened of confronting it. Typical.

She looked at herself in the mirror, observing the changes in her hair and the new tattoo. She willed her eyes to stay away from the stretch marks that still scarred her body. She came so far… so why did she still feel so empty?

"Don't you feel anything anymore?"

Finn's harsh accusation echoed out in the silence like that new annoying summer pop song on the radio. She just couldn't get it out of her head. Surrounded by the lonely shadows in her room, Quinn stared up at her ceiling, the old glow-in-the-dark stars her daddy put up when she was younger still shone brightly back at her. They were annoyingly bright, she thought, too bright for her.

"No, I don't feel anything." She kept repeating eyes tightly closed as if it were a mantra or prayer. Opening her eyes once again, the stars mocked her with their luminous beauty, the hopeful light burned through to her soul. Quinn pulled her blanket over her head to hide.

"I feel nothing"

She hopes one day she will believe it, because it just hurts to believe otherwise.