Alright, I've waited for ages to play with Nine, Jack and Rose, because I didn't have a storyline for them. And then this one fell into my mind. I'd consider getting one of da Quirm's metal helmets against ideas, but this one promised to be too much fun.

There will be more Discworld character involvement in later chapters (most notably The Patrician, key members of The Watch, and (hopefully) Susan), but the first few chapters will focus mainly on Nine, Jack and Rose.

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters. I don't own the TARDIS, or Discworld.

"Where are we going now, Doctor?" Rose asked.

"Places."

She smiled, "No, really, where?"

He smiled, "Places."

"No, really. Where?" She asked impatiently.

"Places!"

"Doc, what are you two going on about?" Jack yawned as he entered the area, "What's up?"

"I just asked him where we were going! That's all! And all he will say is 'places'!"

Jack blinked, "Well, doc, what have you got to say?"

"Always wanted to go places!"

Rose let out a surprised laugh, "I cannot believe you just said that!"

Jack smiled, glad the argument was over. "So, what's for breakfast?"

"Banana pancakes!" The Doctor grinned, "Made them when Rose got up!"

"There's coffee too." Rose smiled.

"Thanks. Tell me when we land."

"Alright. Now," Rose turned her attentions back to The Doctor, "Where are we going?"

He checked the co-ordinates again, "Well, we were supposed to be going to a planet made entirely of chocolate-"

"Ooh, a planet of aphrodisiacs!"

"Jack." The Doctor sighed. "Can we have one conversation without an innuendo?"

"That wasn't an innuendo. That an outright-"

"Stop. That. Sentence. Now."

Jack held up his hands, "Alright, alright. So, Doc, if we're not going to this place, what ever its called-"

"Places." He caught the look on their faces, "That's what I've been telling you!"

"There's a place called Places?" Rose laughed.

"Ten, actually. Unimaginative if you ask me. This one is just an entire planet called Places."

"If we're not going to Places, then where are we headed?"

"I don't know." The Doctor smiled, then turned to face Rose, "Rose!"

She raised her eyebrows, "Yeah?"

"When we land, Jack and I are going to take a look around for five minutes. Do not follow. We could get in trouble if we land on the wrong sort of planet. Besides, you might need to put on a dress. Can't have you making a faux pas."

Rose sighed and slumped against the side of the TARDIS. "Great. And if some tries to attack the TARDIS?"

"The assembled hoards of Genghis Khan could not break down that door."

"Right. You've said."

"Doc?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"How do you know that?"

"They've tried!"

"You pissed off Genghis Khan?"

"It was an accident!"

Jack shook his head a laughed, "Alright, I'll go get dressed. My usual outfit okay?"

"Can't go wrong with a coat and pants."

Jack grinned, "Depends on where you are. And who you're with. And what you're doing." He waggled his eyebrows.

"Jack! One conversation, no innuendo, for once!"

"Yeah, yeah." Jack called over his shoulder as he left, heading for his room.

Rose sat down and was quiet for a minute, "Doctor?"

"Yeah?"

"What if they haven't, you know, invented clothes yet?"

"They'll have...leaves, or something. It'll be fine."

She paused again, "Doctor? What if it's a planet of nudists?"

He paused and turned to look at her, "Then, um, well, we'll leave. See? Problem solved!"

She laughed, "You really think you'll get Jack to leave a planet of nudists?"

The Doctor paused and glanced down the hallway, "Well, if he doesn't want do come with us, we'll leave him."

"You're mean!"

"I know. He could get into so much trouble by himself."

Rose grinned slowly, "I was thinking of the nudists, actually…" The Doctor looked shocked for a second, then burst out laughing. Rose joined in. Five seconds after they had stopped, Jack walked back in, causing another round of laughter.

"Glad to see I've become a source of amusement for you two. What did I do?"

"Nothing." Rose assured him.

"Yet." The Doctor smiled. "And…we're here! Now, remember, Rose, you are to stay here."

Rose rolled her eyes, "Right. Staying here. While you go out on an adventure and Jack flirts with everything in sight. I'll stay here."

"There's a good girl!" he kissed her on the top of her head, "Come on, Jack."

After the two men had left the TARDIS, Rose sighed, "Sometimes, that man is so…thick."

MEANWHILE

"Cut Me Own Throat Dibbler at your service! Do you want a sausage-inna-bun?" A man called out. Jack glanced back as The Doctor paused to look them over. He immediately grabbed him and pushed him forward.

"They looked fine, Jack!"

"You'd pet a rabid rat if it looked harmless! Come on! That food is not safe! I'm not sure it is even food!"

"Jack, you've got to immerse your self in other cultures!"

"Been there, done that. Trust me on this one Doc, that food is not safe!"

"Aw, but Jack!"

"No, Doc, and that is final. Come on, let's get back to Rose."

The Doctor threw one last glance over his shoulder at the cart, but Dibbler had turned his attention away and was shouting at a dwarf about his specialized Rat inna Bun.

Thank you for reading, and if you review I will send a banana! Or tea! Your choice! Reviews are one of the top things that make me smile-just behind my family and friends and a new Pratchett book/Doctor Who episode!