Kurt can usually appreciate it, when faith dishes out a proper serving of irony. Kurt being Kurt, he's always cultivated proper use of both irony and sarcasm. But today is not a good day, and to sit in his 17th century European literature-class and being lectured on the origin of hell hath no fury like a woman scorned is more ironic than he is able to appreciate just today. Kurt is quite familiar with the expression. All the drama at McKinley taught him more than enough about women scorn, and he had fury directed towards himself more than once. Still, it doesn't hold a candle to how he's felt the last days.
His fiancé is in Los Angeles with the rest of New Directions to compete for Nationals, and Kurt could have given everything and anything to be there with him. He tried to get time off from the diner, but with Rachel and Santana's frequent rehearsals for Funny Girl they were low on staff, and Kurt in fact ended up being put up for more shifts than usual. He of course tried to get out of classes too, and was all too prepared to quit his job at The Spotlight, if that had been the last obstacle between him and LA. But he couldn't take more time off from NYADA. Carmen Tibideaux and Cassandra July had both pointed out his frequent visits to Ohio, combined with his absence any time his ex/boyfriend/fiancé showed up in town. It was about time he focused on classes and assignments, especially now right before exams. He could under no circumstances take even a day off to go to LA. Any more accepted absence would at least require a family emergency. And his high school sweetheart performing on a stage, although the fierce women could understand the appeal, was not considered important in the grand NYADA-scheme.
Nobody told Kurt he had to be happy about their rejections and lack of cooperation, though, so he's fuming, acting almost petulantly opinionated, and he knows he won't get much in tip later today.
But not being in Los Angeles with Blaine just fucking hurts. Not being there for him when it mattered was one of the reasons they drifted apart and made Blaine feel unwanted, unimportant, forgotten and ignored. Kurt doesn't want to make that mistake again. He knows Blaine has his insecurities, and he doesn't want to be someone who feeds those, he wants to be the one that makes Blaine feel better. He wants to be a supportive fiancé, and part of him is probably still trying to make amends, if he's being honestly introspect. He wants Blaine to know that he is his number one priority.
Sitting in the audience in LA and cheering Blaine on in his last Glee competition and his friends' attempt at a second Nationals-trophy, would have been wonderful in and of itself. Being there for his fiancé, catching up with the others again, seeing Mr. Schue, getting to know Blaine's other McKinley friends better, not to forget experiencing Los Angeles for the first time, would have been plenty of reasons to go.
But then they go and turn LA to the City of Angel, by deciding to dedicate their performance to Finn and sing his favourite songs. Their parents didn't know, it's supposed to be a surprise, but Kurt of course knows. It was always difficult for Blaine to have Finn brought up, in any capacity. They'd been almost as much of brothers as Kurt and Finn had been. They had both started off with rocky and strained relationships with Finn, but had also both managed to work through all the problems and come out in the other end with a really good friend, and someone they saw as a brotherly figure. So Blaine would always call Kurt when Finn came up, needing to talk with someone who understood in a different way than Sam or Artie could.
Finn was with them throughout their preparations for Nationals, even before they decided to sing his favourite songs. There were several calls to New York to get input and suggestions. Finn loved music, and there were a lot of songs to choose from. Kurt had even spent a night with Rachel, Santana, a few bottles of wine, hundreds of memories and thousands of tears. But they came up with a list of suggestions for their friends back in Lima from it.
And that's as close to being of any support as Kurt will be during Nationals. He's stuck in New York, and his only connection to Blaine is his phone. And his spy, of course. When he had to give up the last straw of hope of getting to LA, he'd called Mercedes and made sure she'd make an appearance. He had worried she'd be hesitant to his mild order, considering her pasts with Sam and all, but she'd jumped on board immediately. Finn was a part of her past too, after all, and Kurt suspects she could need seeing a familiar and friendly face or two after living alone in the big city on the west coast.
So the buzzing of his phone from those two is his only lifeline on this difficult and emotional day, and he really tries to focus on his classes and his job tasks, but well, yeah…
He keeps sending encouraging slash advisory texts to Blaine, and in a fit of nostalgia and overwhelming love he even texts his fiancé Courage.
Unfortunately, phones aren't allowed in the theatre during the performances, and have to be shut off to avoid triggering the speakers and sound equipment. Kurt hates it. He hates being cut off from Blaine, he hates not being able to reach out. He can only send all the positive energy he can muster, made particularly difficult by his anger and frustration, and hoping Blaine keeps his spirits up. Blaine may have been coronated the new Rachel, but he also has a lot of Finn's qualities in him – the kids of New Directions finally sees him as a leader, after he changed his course from the puppet master-debacle. He has experience, authority and a soothing calmness that improve them all. If Blaine falls apart, he pulls them with him. But if Blaine remains optimistic, focused, determined, driven and happy, Kurt has seen himself how his spirits rub off on the others.
Sure, Blaine amusedly told him about Sam's recent antics, all of a sudden seeing himself as the leader of the New Directions. Blaine is also worried, because there's a scary determination in Sam, a devotion as if he plans to win Nationals singlehandedly. But no matter what, Kurt can hear through the stories and Blaine's modest downplaying of his own parts that Blaine is the one who can calm Sam's nerves, who can give them guidance, and who gathers them – whether for their nocturnal visit to the stage; a dear Warbler tradition, or for enthusiasm and relaxation on their LA sightseeing.
Their biggest challenge is letting the other contestants get to them. Kurt knows Throat Explosion has done their best to intimidate his friends, and even succeeded in denting their confidence. Finn's plaque disappearing is awful, and Kurt is furious at the disrespectful behaviour – but he is also a firm believer of the don't get mad, get even-philosophy. So they try to break them down? Fine, just wait and see how New Directions will bring it on that stage!
Or, at least that's what Kurt is desperately hoping for, waiting impatiently in New York. Gunther has to remind him how to do his job a couple of times, and some of the customers seem less than impressed by his lack of service and dedication.
Elliot comes by during his break, and Kurt is so grateful for the friendship they've developed. NYADA is filled with ambitious, pretentious assholes and back-stabbing divas, so it's such a relief and welcomed change to have an uncomplicated friend like Elliot – he's funny and quirky, and Kurt has learned to appreciate his rock'n roll preferences. And best of all, Elliot is honest and straightforward, and not afraid to voice his opinion – but presented much softer than Santana will ever deliver anything. Elliot and he had a cup of coffee, and Elliot patiently listened to Kurt's rambled worries. Elliot doesn't have a Glee background, so he isn't coloured by the drama that follows, and can give Kurt some perspective.
During the intermission in LA, Mercedes quickly turns on her phone to touch base with Kurt, informing him that their friends look ready and collected, despite of some really great performances before them. As she speaks with Kurt, Burt and Carole find their seats, and Kurt lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He wishes he could be there with his dad and Carole, he wishes he could be there with Blaine, he wishes he could be there for himself. But there isn't anything he can do now. Even though he knows Blaine's phone is off, he texts him a quick I love you, break a leg.
As soon as the New Directions is off stage, having delivered their Nationals-performance, Blaine finds a secluded corner in their wardrobe, turns on his phone and calls Kurt. They talk for a long time, considering it's still in the middle of the competition. Kurt helps Blaine through the debriefing, talking him through the vocals, the dance, the details and the performance as a whole. He reassures him that nobody can possibly know he forgot a particular twirl he was supposed to do during a solo line, and he tried to convince Blaine that being emotional improves the stage presence, making the performance seem more convincing and personal. Remember Miss Tibideaux rejected his initial application because he lacked emotions and soul in his performance? Their talk inevitably turns to Finn, and how proud he would have been of them. Kurt isn't religious or particularly spiritual, but he's convinced Finn is with them today. He lives on in their hearts, and he lives on in every single note they sing and step they dance. In the end, Blaine has to end the conversation and go back to his teammates. Kurt tells him with as much conviction he has that he loves him. Blaine seems distracted, but returns the words with pathos.
The wait until the winner is announced, is excruciating.
Nothing kills time and anger better than some furious cleaning, so Kurt offers to hand wash the deep fryer. Gunther finally has the wits to let him be, and accept his offer slash announcement.
When Blaine finally calls, Kurt has been through a wide range of emotions – from nervous to scared to worried to elated to angry to frustrated to proud to sad to fond to bittersweet to dreadful. He doesn't care what Blaine has to say, he's just glad to hear his voice. He's also back home in the apartment in Bushwick by now, finally done with his shitty shift in the shitty diner with the shitty distance to LA. God, he misses Blaine.
They didn't win.
They came second.
Kurt wants to gush, wants to tell Blaine how proud he is, how well they did, how they should celebrate, how coming second isn't losing. But he can hear the disappointment and defeat in Blaine's voice. It kills him when he realizes Blaine isn't feeling that way on his own behalf, but feels as if he let down Burt and Carole. They would never think that. They would never judge them or be anything but grateful for honouring Finn's memory with their performance, continuing his legacy after he coached them with Nationals as their shared goal. But Blaine is so hard on himself, his own worst enemy, and it takes time for Kurt to calm Blaine down. Sam pulls Blaine out of the theatre and onto their team bus, so they end the conversation for now. They'll talk more as soon as Blaine can find some privacy again, but it may not be until they're back in Lima. The Glee club may have more money at their disposal now than when they competed in New York two years ago, and all the boys shared one hotel room and all the girls another. But Blaine is still sharing with Sam, and Kurt expects Burt and Carole will come by to pay a visit. His time with Blaine will come.
Which makes Kurt do the only sensible thing – call his dad. He wants to make sure they are doing fine, and he needs to tell them to keep an eye on Blaine. Then he'll touch base with Mercedes to get her view on everything. Those are his best options when he can't be there himself.
It's only two days later, when Blaine makes an unexpected call. Kurt is in the back of The Spotlight, relaxing his tired feet in the staff room and staying away from Rachel and Santana. He's had it of them snapping poorly created insults at each other, as if they still think it'll make the other drop out of Funny Girl. He needs five minutes on his own to avoid going bat shit crazy.
Blaine tells him that Glee is done, that Sue Sylvester has had her last word, that Mr. Schue has no more room to fight for them, that the Glee club is being dissolved, cancelled, ejected. Kurt's heart plummets to his stomach. He may be an alumni, he may have a good life in New York, he may have moved out and on from small town Lima, but New Directions will always hold a dear place in his heart. Without that club… He shivers just thinking about it. His friends, his family, his fiancé; everything came from Glee.
And as long as he still had friends and Mr. Schue in New Directions, it felt as if Finn's legacy lived on. The Glee club would always be a place to remember Finn. Losing the club feels like losing Finn all over again. He can hear Blaine sniff, and some disturbance as if his hand is in front of the microphone.
"I know I'm graduating soon, I know it really doesn't matter. But it still hurts. Finn helped the new kids, he gave them confidence and experience, and he made a team out of us when we had no other to direct us. I was already looking forward to come back for their Sectionals, and bug Jake and Unique into auditioning for leads in whatever musical Mr. Schue decided for next year. I wanted to see who they could be from the initial push and motivation Finn gave them. You should have seen how good he was with them," Blaine chokes, sniffing some more.
"I know, Blaine," Kurt murmurs, blinking repeatedly and starring at the bright ceiling light to block his tears.
They are silent together, listening to the other's strained breathing and muffled sniffs.
"The plaque came back," Blaine eventually chuckles, and tells about the letter from Jean Baptiste, explaining every how and why.
"Do you remember the inscription?" Kurt muses fondly, and Blaine snorts in disbelief. As if they'd ever forget. "The show must go on, all over the place. Finn was right. This isn't the end. It can't be."
"Kurt…" Blaine sighs. "Mr. Schue seemed finale about it. Coach Sue isn't giving him any leverage. This is it."
"No, it isn't," Kurt objects. "It's not the end of Finn's legacy, it's not the end of friendships, it's not the end of performing, it's not the end of loving music. You and I are going to tell our kids everything about him, goddamnit, and they are going to learn all the songs their uncle Finn loved, and we're going to teach them to be as optimistic and caring as their uncle was. But better dancers."
"God, I love you!"
"I love you too," Kurt murmurs back. All of a sudden, he remembers a younger boy taking the hand of his brand new boyfriend, and telling him how they may have lost a silly trophy, but at least they got each other out of it. Glee has given so much to so many, and there will always be gratitude to Glee making sure it lives on no matter how little money Principal Sylvester has to her disposal. By its very definition, Glee is opening yourself to joy. And there has been so much joy.
Blaine hangs up with reassurances that he's okay enough, and Kurt steels himself to go back out to the girls, and interrupt their shallow bickering with the latest news about Glee. And then he'll do anything he can to go back to Lima right away, Carmen and Cassandra can just shut it.