Disclaimer: I do not own the Labyrinth. Sigh.
-Scene fades in -
Sarah: GASP You're him, aren't you?
Jareth: You talkin' to me?
V/o: WRONG MOVIE
J: yes, yes that's me - Bo...wie is a knife that's sharpened on both sides and cuts both ways. Bowies rule. Yeah. Anyway, the name's Jareth...
S: Whose lipstick do you use?
J: Iman's...I'm a man, I don't use lipstick. laughs nervously. Now. Go back to your room, Sarah, play with your toys...although you might find SEX DRUGS AND ROCK N ROLL a tiny bit more entertaining...um, you're not a minor, are you?
S: i'm 15
J: suddenly totally uninterested Play with your toys, for---
S: beeping and cogs turning Mullet, lipstick, British accent... (DING) YOU'RE DAVI---
J: AM NOT
S: YES YOU ARE
J: No I'm not
S: are
J: no
S: yes
J: no
S: yes
J: yes
S: no----oh you bastard!
J: takes out one of his many balls. no pun intended? Now child...
S: yay! gimme!
J: ignoring her It's a crystal, nothing more...but if you turn it like this it'll show you your dreams...looks into it Hmmmm...tut tut Sarah...could you PLEASE stop staring at my tights, i'm getting rather disturbing images here...
S: blushing I wasn't staring at your tights...is there a sock or---
J: SARAH! DO YOU WANT IT?
S: the sock?
J: no one of my balls
S: O.o well..
J: DON'T---get me started. do you want this crystal?
S: what happens if i take it?
J: I get Tobs
S: coughing laugh No thank you, Karen's gonna freak if she finds out. And, see, i don't like just watching my dreams, i've got the telly for that sort of thing.
J: mutters DAMN, you're slightly smarter than I thought... brightens Let's make a deal. If you let me have the baby, I...I will kiss you.
S: tempting, but no
J: i'll sleep in your bed
S: still no, but you're getting closer
J: pondering Well what else a girl like you would want from a sexy piece of male meat like me...Oh no
S: laughs manically Yes Jareth. tights off!
J: wide-eyed NO no no you're a minor and i'll get sued!
S: And that matters how?
J: don't throw my own lines at me! - squeals like a girl while being chased about by a very horny-looking Sarah - yellsOh think about the immortality of the soul! Sex is not the answer we need! There's more to life than that! gasps Don't touch that!
- Scene fades out-