A/N: I really didn't like how 5x22 ended, so I decided to write an alternative ending. I would have loved to see Diane going down this road, as we almost saw in season 2. I never thought I'd write a fic where Will's dead, but here I am. I'm sure some of you won't like that I replaced him, but I hope the way I did might make up for it.
Special thanks to Ally for helping me with the idea and betaing the result.
Enjoy and please let me know what you think!
Answers
Walking in, Diane hadn't met a single person and once she stopped at her destination the only sound she heard was the nature around her. She had hoped to be alone, it was the middle of a workday after all, but she had been unable to stay in her office, she'd felt like she'd been drowning. She inhaled the fresh air, mixed with the scent of flowers around and lowered her eyes to the tombstone in front of her.
WILLIAM PAUL GARDNER
The man buried there had been her partner and her friend for almost a decade. She'd visited his grave a few times already, always bringing him flowers. He'd never cared much for her flowers at the office, but he'd tolerated them for her and she wanted to leave a piece of her soul with him each time she visited his final resting place.
She placed the white lilies on the grave and closed her eyes. She felt closer to him this way. She didn't see the cold black marble, she imagined his face in front of her instead and it didn't take long for the tears to start forming in her eyes.
It had been a few weeks, but she still missed him just as much as the day he died. She missed hearing him say 'Good Morning' or 'Good Night'. She missed sharing a drink, a laugh or a dance with him. Now whenever she was at her desk and looked up she was reminded of how fast things could change in life. One minute he'd been there, the next he was replaced by someone else. And this other person had been the one who had unconsciously led her here today. She hadn't only come for a visit, she was here to pour her heart out and get some answers. Because no one understood her better than Will had.
"Remember when you asked me if I was having fun, when both of us knew I wasn't?" She opened her eyes and started talking in a low voice, that no one could have heard even if she hadn't been alone. "Who would have thought that those were the fun times after all, because you were still here with me?" She felt the tears fill her eyes again and reached into the pocket of her coat to make sure she had a tissue ready.
"Our names may still be on the door, but it's not our firm anymore. It was our home, but now I feel like I don't belong there. I only have a few people on my side, most of them are against me and I don't know how to fight them without you. I can't stay there anymore, I feel like I'm drowning. I'd rather leave with my head held high than being pushed out. But where could I go?"
She lifted her gaze and looked away as far as her eyes could see, as if the answer was written there in the sky.
"Alicia and I talked about a merger, but I'm not sure it's what either of us really wants. Not to mention I don't trust them like I trusted you," she shifted her gaze back on his name. "It would be the same constant fight and I'm tired of fighting. I still have a few years of my life that I want to spend doing what I love the most, being a lawyer, leading a firm. If it had been me lying here, you'd never have let anyone get in your way. Why do I feel like I don't have a choice? Why do I feel like I have to compromise?"
She'd come here for answers, knowing she was talking to a set of stones and no one would really reply to her. But this was where she felt the closest to Will, where she was able to think with his head.
"I made a mistake letting the devil take your seat, I hope you can forgive me for that. I was desperate, I wasn't myself. You know me, I always fight for what I want. And all I want is to continue what we started together. I cannot stand for something like this with my name, with our names. I want you to be remembered, I want to honor your legacy. I want to show that you didn't die for nothing. You died because you believed in the law, in your client and never gave up."
As she spoke the words she already felt closer to her answer. Will would never have given up, Will would never have compromised. She couldn't do that either. She would have just felt worse afterwards.
"I don't want to give up either. I want to go on and do things my way. It's no longer our firm. It's just an office space shared with strangers, who didn't love you like I did. I'm going to leave it all behind and start all over. I'm going to walk out of there with pride, take my clients, my paintings, the few people I really trust and leave the others behind."
She felt a wave of confidence coming over her and it helped her gather her strength. She wiped her tears away and placed the tissue back in her pocket.
"I'm doing this for you Will," she addressed him with a half-smile. "You give me the strength to take this step. I know you believed in me, like I believed in you. I need you to believe in me now more than ever. If I fail, at least I can say I tried. But I know I can do this. Your death may have brought me down, but I'm going to climb up again. I know what I'm capable of and I know you'll support me from up there."
With that she lifted her head to face the sky and enjoyed how the breeze played with her hair. She took another deep breath and felt the weight finally lift from her shoulders. She got the answer she had been looking for. She just had to think with Will's head, figure out what he'd do and she'd take it from here.
She would go back to the office that was no longer what it once was. She'd tell the partner she'd never really wanted in the first place that she was out. She'd take what's rightfully hers and start all over. And now that she had Will's blessing she was sure that in the end everything would be all right.
o-o-o
"Mr. Williams is here," Diane's assistant announced through the line.
"Send him in please," she replied, placed her glasses on the desk and stood up to greet her visitor.
Her 'new' office didn't have glass walls, so she couldn't see him until he opened the door and entered.
"Good morning," he greeted her in a deep voice and while she walked to him she tried to have a proper look at the man in the black suit. He was in his forties, tall, with a sporty figure, short dark brown hair and a clean shaved face.
"I'm Diane Lockhart, it's nice to meet you," she extended her hand when she reached him.
"Aiden Williams," he introduced himself, shaking her hand firmly, "It's my pleasure."
"Please, take a seat," she gestured towards the armchairs in front of her desk and walked back to her chair on the other side.
He waited until she sat down and only occupied one of the armchairs afterwards.
"My sister says hello," he told her with a half-smile. "She thought of coming with me to introduce us, but I didn't want to hear about it," he added decisively.
"Understandable," Diane answered, leaning back in her chair, not hiding that she liked his attitude.
She knew his sister through EMILY's List. Amalie had told her that Aiden had been looking into moving his practice to Chicago because of family matters. Diane wanted to find out the rest for herself.
"So you've recently moved here from Baltimore?" She encouraged him to speak again.
"Yes, my wife got a job at DePaul and since most of my family lives here it seemed like the best decision for everyone. And one of my biggest clients is opening a Chicago office, which means I have some business to rely on as well, so I'm looking for a home. I took the bar here already, so I'm all set for a fresh start," he explained with a confident expression on his face.
"As you must know, my firm is relatively new," she responded, trying to test how prepared he was for the interview.
"Yes, I read about your ex partner's tragic death and how you started all over on your own. I'm sure it wasn't easy," he said in a sympathetic tone, passing Diane's test easily.
"It wasn't, but I'm still here," she answered with a half-smile. The mention of Will's death didn't affect her as it used to, as time had passed. "I read through your file," she added, opening his folder at the same time, "I've been looking for a litigator with experience, who can take over some of the ongoing cases. You seem to have a good track record with court cases."
"I'm aware that a good performance in court is essential for winning. And I won't give up until I've played all my cards." This declaration won Diane over easily. She needed someone exactly like him. Their caseload had doubled in the last weeks, which was a sign of them growing out of a start-up, but it also required more involvement from the associates and partners.
"Are you looking into other firms in Chicago?" She inquired to see clearly about his choice.
"Not if you give me a chance first," he replied with an appealing smile, which definitely helped Diane decide.
"For now I'm making the hiring decisions. And I think we can try for a three months trial period, if that's all right with you. I'm sure we will agree on the pay. And if both of us are satisfied at the end we'll talk partnership," she made the offer, because his file and his attitude convinced her that he was the kind of lawyer she was looking for. And of course his sister's good words, whose opinion she also trusted, weighed in as well.
"Sounds reasonable to me," he accepted without further inquiry.
"You mentioned a big client earlier?" Her curiosity didn't leave her alone, and now she felt like she also had a right to know as his future employer.
"Three million a year in billables," he answered right away.
"That is a good starting point," Diane tried to withhold her smile.
"I thought you might like it," his lips curled up and she decided to let hers do the same while reaching out her hand to him.
"Welcome on board Mr. Williams."
"It's Aiden, please. We are going to be partners soon," he reminded her while holding her hand.
"We probably will," she reassured him.
o-o-o
A year had passed since Will's death but Diane was still visiting his grave regularly. She never forgot the day she'd come out here and decided to start her own firm, Lockhart and Associates, that was now competing with some of Chicago's biggest law firms.
After Louis Canning had died Diane had heard rumors that some of her old partners had considered knocking on her door. Luckily for them no one had actually dared to show up, she would have sent them away without a word anyway.
She had what she wanted, a firm with partners she could trust, with employees she could rely on, and a constantly growing clientele. When Alicia had become State's Attorney, she'd chosen Diane's firm for the civil suits involving her office. And soon some of Alicia's former clients had ended up hiring Diane's firm as well, while Agos and Associates was bleeding clients fast without the Governor's wife name on the door.
The time had come when Diane considered it would probably be wise to give a chance to another partner at her firm to join her on the top, to share the workload and the responsibility. It wasn't an easy decision to share the glory with someone else, but she was aware that she wouldn't be able to handle everything alone. And she had been working on the side of a partner all her life.
It had been a new experiment doing it alone, but she worked better with someone. She needed a second voice, someone to help her out with the most difficult decisions. Diane happened to know just the man for the job. He had become a trusted partner and her confidante and seemed to be a fitting choice to fill Will's shoes.
But before she made this important decision she had to consult with someone first. And that was the reason of her visit at Will's grave this day. She needed to get his permission, his approval for the partner of her choice.
"I told you about him already. I think he is the perfect candidate. He's been honest and open with me from the very first day we met and we seem to work well together. Sometimes I feel like I'm cheating on you," she smiled faintly at the tombstone, remembering the day she had told Will about the Supreme Court seat. All the memories were still so vivid on her mind and they rarely made her tear up anymore.
"He is smart and he doesn't give up easily. He can be a volcano in the courtroom. He reminds me of you in so many ways. And that's not just because he's from Baltimore too and you went to the same law school. I do not want to replace you and no one could replace you anyway, but I'd like to give him a chance. I think he has earned it. And you know I don't work well alone, I need someone on my side, for balance. It has been you for so long and every day I wish you were still here."
The sadness took over her for a few seconds, but she managed to hold back the tears. The wounds had healed already. She would never stop missing him or thinking about him, but she had learnt to live without him.
"When I'm mad at him, I call him Williams, that takes the edge off a little. He certainly knows how to fight me on important matters. It makes me miss our fights a little less," she added with a smile.
"I would have kept your name on the wall if I could have, but Canning took that away from me and from you. I hope he's rolling in his grave for eternity. But in a way your name will still be on the door," she ran her fingers on his first name, smiling to herself.
"Lockhart/Williams. Wish us luck, William. If you ever take on Stern or Canning up there, make me proud. And never forget that you'll always be my favorite partner."