Editor's Notes (Please Read):

This is set in...I suppose you could call it an alternate universe separate to the original Bleach, where no-one has Shinigami/Quincy/Arrancar/Vizard powers, and lives in the human world.

This is set slightly in the Bleach future (Meaning Ichigo is about 18/19, and thus most of the characters are no longer in high school.)

It works better if you try to imagine the characters dressed normally eg. When you read about Ulquiorra, don't imagine him as an Espada wearing that Hollow thing on his head. Try imagining him wearing gothic-style clothing or something like that. It works better with the fan-fic.

This is also my first fan-fic I've ever written. I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 1: Rude Awakening

"GOOOOOOD MOOOOOORNING, ICHIGOOOOOO!"

Exactly five seconds later, Ichigo Kurosaki sat up in bed andlooked at his father as he tried to stand up.

"Dad," Ichigo said, with a slight hint of anger in his voice, "What are you doing here?"

Isshin Kurosaki stood up with a smile on his face, despite his head was bleeding.

"Breakfast is ready!"

Ichigo didn't say anything. He just stared at his dad for a few seconds.

Finally, he spoke; "...Breakfast is ready?"

"Yes! Yuzu just made some toast!"

"Dad..."

"Yes, Ichigo?"

"It's clear to me that you don't remember, but I MOVED OUT A MONTH AGO!"

True enough, Ichigo had moved out of his dad's house and had moved into a different house with some of his friends. Despite the fact that Ichigo HAD moved out a month ago, Isshinstill ran to his new house around twice a week, and tried to attack him in his sleep.

"Well, yeah, I knew that, but..."

"BUT WHAT?"

Isshin wasn't sure what to say, so he changed the subject. "How's Orihime this morning?"

"What? I don't know!"

Upon hearing this, Isshin became shocked. "WHAT! Ichigo, it is your responsibility to send Orihime at least five messages per morning asking how she is!"

Ichigo and Orihime had being going out for just over a year now. Orihime had a crush on him during high school, but it took a while before she had enough courage to ask him out. Soon after they completely fell in love with each over.

"DAD! LEAVE NOW, PLEASE!"

Isshin pulled a grumpy-looking face. "Sounds like someone didn't get lucky last night..."

Ten seconds later...

Isshin slowly stood up. He was bleeding profoundly from his nose and chest. He looked up to Ichigo's bedroom window. "That was quite a throw!" He shouted.

"GO AWAY!" Ichigo replied.

Isshinsmiled, turned, and started walking down the road back to his house.

Ichigo sighed, and sat on his bed. He picked up his mobile from the bedside table, andswitched it on. His phone background was a picture of him smiling with his arm around Orihime, who was also smiling. He smiled as he looked at it. Then he stood up, went for a shower, got dressed, and went downstairs.

After writing Orihime a 'good morning' text, he put some bread in the toaster, and saw one of his housemates sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal.

"Morning, Ulquiorra."

Ulquiorra Cifer looked up from his bowl. He would have replied to with words, but his mouth was full of cereal, so just nodded at Ichigo. Then he frowned and nodded to the door behind Ichigo, while holding up his hand with three of his fingers outstretched.

"Ok, then."

Ichigo placed his hand on a chair next to him as Ulquiorra went down to two fingers. His grip on the chair tightened as it went to one. As the last finger went down, the door was kicked open and Ikkaku Madarame ran into the room, grinning manically. At the same time, Ichigo threw the chair at him with one hand, and grabbed his toast with the other hand. Normally, the chair would have smashed into Ikkaku's head, and the morning would carry on as normal, but today Ikkaku grabbed the chair, pushed it to the ground, leapt over it, and flew headfirst into Ichigo.

At least, he would have is Ichigohadn't sat down at that precise moment.

Instead, Ikkaku flew across the table, towards the worksurface by the window. Ulquiorra had stood up by now, and opened the microwave door, which welcomed Ikkaku's bald skull with open arms (Metaphorically, of course, as microwaves don't have arms!)

"Good morning, Ikkaku." Ulquiorra said.

Ikkaku removed his head from the microwave, and grinned at Ulquiorra. "Good morning, Ulquiorra!"

"Do you plan on having any breakfast, or are you just going to keep attacking Ichigo?"

Ikkaku grabbed an apple from a bowl near the window, and bit into it. "I'm going to have breakfast WHILE attacking Ichigo!"

Ichigo was looking in the fridge for orange juice when Ikkaku climbed onto the table while lifting his wodden sword, which he never went anywhere without (That's right, he even goes to bed with it!), and lifted it high, preparing to strike Ichigo on the head from above.

But before he could he heard Ichigo say "Ah, here it is!" and then Ichigo spun round, threw about a pint of orange juice at Ikkaku, and then kicked him off the table. Ikkaku always calmed down in the morning after someone's thrown a drink in his face. Or when a chair collides with his skull. Either works fine.

Ikkaku stood up, pulled a chair up to the table, and sat down.

"Remind me why you live here, Ikkaku." Ulquiorra said, a slight hint of frustration in his voice.

"Because Kenpachi didn't have enough room in his flat. It was either me or Yumichika."

Both Ichigo and Ulquiorra took a moment to imagine what it would be like if Yumichika lived with them instead of Ikkaku.

Ichigo's Imagination...

"Yumuchikaaaaaa!" Ichigo shouted, banging his fist against the bathroom door, which was locked.

"I'll be out in a minute!" Yumichika shouted from the other side of the door.

"You said that 20 minutes ago!"

"Sorry! I promise I'll only be a minute this time!"

"You said that 20 minutes ago as well!"

"Really? Well, I have to make myself look beautiful!"

"YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR OVER AN HOUR!"

"Beauty takes time, Ichigo!"

"I NEED THE TOILET!"

"Well, what am I supposed to do about that?"

"YOU COULD GET OUT OF THE F**KING SHOWER!"

"But If I get out too early, I won't be beautiful!"

"How long is it until it isn't too early?"

"Another hour!"

"...THAT'S IT!" Ichigo stormed off. "I AM GOING TO THE TOILET, EVEN IF IT MEANS S**TING ALL OVER YOUR MAKE-UP BOX!"

Ulquiorra's Imagination...

Ulquiorra looked into his make-up box in the bathroom (What, did you think his skin was naturally white with green tear things?). He called Yumichika's name. "Hey, Yumichika!"

Yumichika answered from across the hall. "Yes?"

"Where's my make-up?"

"I threw it out and lent you some of my make-up!"

"You did WHAT?"

"White is such an ugly colour!"

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THAT COST ME!"

"Not really!"

"YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE!"

"At least I'm a beautiful asshole!"

"GAAAAAAAGH!"

Back To Reality...

"I am so glad you live here with us, Ikkaku." Ichigo said.

"I concur." Ulquiorra agreed.

Ikkaku grinned. Ulquiorra sighed, and went to pick up a nearby bass guitar. Ikkakulooked at it. "You got band practice today?"

Ulquiorra played bass in a gothic metal band called 'Menos Grande'. "No. I just thought I'd do a bit of practice on my own today. Everyone else is busy."

"Fair enough." Ikkaku turned to Ichigo. "Hey, Ichigo, you up for some sword practice?" He held up his wooden sword, grinning.

Ichigo looked at the calander near to the fridge. It was September the 2nd. He stood up, looking somewhat happier than before. "No can do, Ikkaku."

Ikkaku suddenly turned angry. "What! Why not? Is it that I'm better than you, huh? Are you turning into a chicken?"

Ulquiorra looked at the calander as well, and turned to Ikkaku. "Maybe if you payed attention to what day it is..."

Ikkaku looked at the calander. "So what? It's the 2nd of September. Big deal! What difference..."

"Tomorrow," Ulquiorra interrupted, "Is Orihime's birthday."

Ikkaku looked at Ichigo, confused. "So? Orihime's birthday isn't until tomorrow."

Ichigo started walking to the front door. "I need to pick up her birthday present."

Ikkaku then proceeded to mock him for not buying Orihimea present until the day before her birthday, claiming that as her boyfriend, he should have already bought it ages ago. But the door closed behind Ichigo mere moments before Ikkaku could open his mouth, so it was all muffled to his ears. Ichigo sighed, and walked down the road, leaving Ulquiorra to deal with his ranting housemate.

Aaaand that's my first chapter done! I hope you liked it. Please leave a review saying what you think! :D