A/N: I had this idea, so I rolled with it.

What It Means To Be Held

"Ms. Glinda?"

Glinda jumped as her assistant's voice rang in her ears. She had tuned the young man out as he rambled on about Oz knows what. "Can we discuss this later?" She asked, though the young man knew he didn't have a choice in the matter.

"Certainly, Ms. Glinda." He gave a small bow then made his way to leave.

"Cancel all my appointments for today and do make sure that I'm not disturbed." Glinda ordered.

The young man nodded then left, closing and locking the door behind him. He sighed as he leaned against the door frame outside. He could see that Glinda was growing tired and that she was struggling with things far beyond his knowledge and control. He sent out a silent prayer then made his way to his office.

Glinda held her head in her hands, trying to stop the tears from falling. Her shoulders shook, and her body ached as memories flooded her mind. She no longer was the bubbly petit blonde the Ozians knew and loved, she was now a broken woman, haunted by her past and filled with anger, sadness and regret.

Standing up, she made her way to her balcony, slipping out of her gown in the process.

Liar. Traitor.

Those voices again. She placed her hand on her head again, trying her best to block out the world. She began hearing voices a month and a half ago, the same time the hallucinations came. Depression was taking a toll on her body and mind. Sure, on the outside, she acted as if she was not staying up for three days straight or starving herself, she had to keep up appearances after all. In reality, she was sick. In reality, she was ready to be free.

Pale hands gripped the balcony ledge. Her eyes darted toward the sky as she took a deep breath. Slowly, she made her way to sit, legs front, on the ledge.

Glinda.

Don't do it, my sweet.

That voice. Glinda closed her eyes, but did not retreat.

Glinda.

"Leave me be."

Glinda.

"Let me end this. Let me find peace." She pleaded.

Glinda, please.

Glinda leaned dangerously off the edge, ready to jump.

Glinda p…

"What? Please, what? Let me be!" Her voice sounded through the night sky.

Stop, Glinda.

Glinda swung her legs back over, resting them on the balcony tile. Her eyes grew wide when she saw green. She shivered, both from the cold air hitting her bare back and from laying eyes on who appeared to be Elphaba.

"You're not real."

Glinda, you do not want to do this.

"You don't know what I want. "

I am begging you

"No. No, you do not have the right to beg. You don't have the right to plead or act as if you cared." Glinda relaxed her grip. "Come over here and stop me. If you care about me so much, stop me."

I…

"That's right; you can't, because you're not real. You are not here, you're a hallucination. You are that nagging voice in the back on my mind." Glinda closed her eyes but the tears did not cease. "I cannot keep living like this." She whispered. "I'm sorry." As the words left her lips, she fell back and Glinda the Good was no more…

"Glinda!" Elphaba awoke with a start. "Glin." She gasped as she felt sweat run down her skin.

"Elphaba, are you alright?" Fiyero, who was beside her, quickly placed his hands on her shoulders.

Elphaba's breathing began to go back to its normal pace as she calmed down. "I'm fine, Fiyero, go back to sleep."

He knew exactly what was going through her head. She had been having the same nightmares for quite some time. They were always similar; she would either look on as someone took Glinda's life or look on helplessly when the good witch took her own life. And sometimes, Elphaba would awake screaming and disoriented. It was those nights that he had an impossible time trying to calm her down. It was those nights where Elphaba saw herself ending Glinda's life.

"Hold me." Elphaba whispered.

Fiyero shifted and embraced her as they lay down. He knew that any other time, he would not get the privilege to hold her. He knew that if she were not experiencing these night terrors, she would not be seeking his comfort. He knew. He knew of her true feelings, but he still held her close every night. He held her on nights like these, when she would awake from those horrible nightmares. He held her in his arms when she would lie awake crying; and on those nights when her head falls back and her cheeks flushed, she whispers Glinda's name, and he still holds her close.

Yes, he knew of Elphaba's desires, secrets and regrets but he still held her close, hoping that one day she would finally be his.