Snape stood silent, still. Beside him, his school "friends" quivered, heads bowed. Next to his peers stood numerous other wizards, mostly recent Hogwarts graduates that Snape didn't recognise.
The Dark Lord finally approached. He walked up and down the line, glancing at each of the young men and women in turn. He asked for names, and many responded with names he already knew; Mulciber…Avery…Black…Rosier…
A few responded with other names, and claimed they were not from Slytherin. One was a former Ravenclaw, from Snape's year. When asked why he forsook his friends to join the Death Eaters, the Ravenclaw, Henderson, looked The Dark Lord in the eye.
"You, my Lord, are going to win this war. I will do whatever it takes to be on the winning side."
The Dark Lord laughed; a high, cold laugh.
"You may be of some use after all."
The Dark Lord continued on, and paused in front of a skinny boy with a haughty face, and black hair.
Black. Surely he is too young…
"Welcome, young Regulus". Black bowed respectfully. "I am pleased to see a member of your great family finally joining my cause". Black was silent. He was a boy, no more than 16. He shook, and seemed unable to meet the Voldemort's eyes.
"I am pleased to join, my Lord", the boy stuttered.
The Dark Lord smiled, and walked on.
Each new member seemed hesitant to speak to the Dark Lord, fearing they might say something disrespectful. It was easy to tell who was there purely for the blood of muggleborns, and who was there because of family pressures.
Why am I here then?
Snape kept his breaths even when the Dark Lord finally approached him, the last in the line.
"And who might you be?"
Snape watched Voldemort curiously. Lord Voldemort's dark eyes were bloodshot but determined, and they narrowed cruelly as he stared back at Snape.
"I am Severus Snape, my Lord. I was in Slytherin…as was my mother".
Voldemort eyed Snape with contempt – it was as if he somehow knew about Snape's muggle father.
And that I'm only here because I have nothing else…
Snape did his best to shield his mind – the Dark Lord was known for using legilimency.
"Snape. No doubt you will be as useful as your friends beside me…if not more so", Voldemort smirked.
The Dark Lord moved back and surveyed the group once again.
"You all stand before me now equal amongst each other – I know not which of you will join my closest circles. Know that all of you will fight for me…but not all of you will be death eaters."
Many of the younger new recruits started to look uneasy.
"There is an initiation which all of my followers must partake in. You will all complete it if you wish to move up the ranks and receive the highest honour – a dark mark". Lord Voldemort signalled to a young man with blonde hair – Lucius Malfoy.
Malfoy opened the door at the end of the room, went in, and dragged out what looked like a large sack. As he came closer, there were gasps amongst the new recruits.
It was not a sack, but a person. She was a very ordinary looking young woman, probably around 22, with a face full of acne and a wild, terrified look in her eyes. Malfoy shoved her down and stood there, staring expressionlessly at the group before him.
Voldemort smirked at the apprehensive looks the new recruits gave each other. He slowly retreated to a large chair, not unlike a throne, and watched with amusement.
"Your task is simple. This mudblood," Malfoy spat, "had been writing some slanderous articles in the Daily Prophet about the Dark Lord. You must punish her".
Everyone was silent as Malfoy drew back. Some of the recruits looked eager, whilst others looked terrified.
"Begin", the Dark Lord's cold, shrill voice sang out.
Snape's old school peer, Avery, stood first in line. He stepped forward gleefully and kicked the muggleborn in the stomach. She whimpered, until Avery let out a shout.
"Crucio!" he cried. The woman on the floor writhed and screamed, her face contorted.
Snape had to fight to keep his eyes on the woman. He had finally realised, too late, that this was not where he was meant to be.
I'm only here because I have no idea where else to go.
Her screams vibrated in his ears, and he felt a wave of nausea.
Can I really do this? Hurt a muggleborn? A muggleborn…like Lily?
Snape started counting his breaths, in an attempt to regain internal composure. His face was just as blank and unreadable as ever.
Avery stopped finally, and smirked. The Dark Lord nodded, and Avery moved forward to join the ranks of death eaters.
The next recruit stepped forward. And the next. Each hurt the woman in some way – mostly with the cruciatus curse, but many were more adventurous, using fire spells, binding spells and the like.
Black approached without hesitation. He stared down at the woman with a hard expression.
"Rictusempra!" he shouted
The Dark Lord looked down curiously as the woman began to laugh and scream simultaneously. She thrashed about on the floor, with tears streaming down her face and laughter escaping her lips. This caused the death eaters to burst out laughing, which in turn made the woman cry even more.
Black seemed immensely pleased with himself, and the woman seemed utterly humiliated, in such a way that seemed to cause her more pain than the cruciatus curse did.
A smile crept across Lord Voldemort's face as he nodded at Black. The boy looked up at him with a flicker of fear, before timidly joining the death eaters. The hard expression was gone as soon as he turned away from the Dark Lord, and Black looked white as a sheet, unable to meet anyone's eye.
Next, approaching nervously, was the Ravenclaw, Henderson.
He shakily lifted his arm, and pointed his wand at the muggleborn. He stood there for an excruciatingly long time, staring down at the whimpering woman on the floor. Eventually, he began to lower his wand.
There was a mutter amongst the death eaters, and a laugh from a wild looking woman who could only be Bellatrix Lestrange. Snape gulped. Henderson took a step back.
"I…I can't"
There was laughter amongst all of the death eaters now. The Dark Lord held out hand to silence them.
"You cannot what?" Lord Voldemort replied coolly, stepping down in front of Henderson.
"I…I've changed…changed my mind. I…I'm not ready…uh…my Lord…"
More laughter. Henderson was shaking, and Snape could feel the tension in the room. Beside him, the few recruits that were left were breathing quickly.
Lord Voldemort tilted his head to the side with a smirk. He slowly pulled out his wand.
As soon as Henderson saw, he seemed to lose all composure. He turned on his heels and bolted towards the door. But not fast enough.
"Crucio!", the Dark Lord shouted.
Henderson fell to the floor with a bang, and writhed about, smearing the blood from his fall into the ground.
The Death Eaters were in fits of laughter. Wordlessly, the Dark Lord levitated Henderson, and he floated through the air to the middle of the room. His screams mingled with everyone else's laughter. Snape and the other recruits held their breaths.
With a thud, Henderson was on the floor again, sobbing.
"Has anyone else changed their mind?", Lord Voldemort inquired.
As if anyone would change their mind now.
The remaining recruits shook their heads as Voldemort gestured for the next to step forward.
No turning back.
"You may punish either the mudblood, or the traitor. Whichever you prefer."
The next recruit, Mulciber, looked between the woman and Henderson. He had never been bright in school, and seemed to spend a rather long time deciding which to torture. His inherent blood supremacy won out however, and he leered at the woman as he tortured her.
4 recruits left. 3.
Beside Snape, the next man, Rosier, stepped forward. He, like the others, went straight for the muggleborn. He seemed to take great pleasure in her pain.
I can do this. I must.
The only reason that Snape was standing in that room was because he had nowhere else to go. His "friends" were joining. So must he. If he'd had other friends, he would be elsewhere.
If I still had her, I would not be here.
Snape had never considered himself to be a kind person. He knew he could be cruel and mean when he chose to be. But it did not come naturally to him like it did to the people in this room. And he was acutely aware of it.
I never had her anyway.
Rosier finished off with a grin, and stepped towards the cheering Death Eaters.
Lord Voldemort had returned to his place amongst the Death Eaters, and watched with amusement as Snape slowly stepped forward.
I can do this. I…I can.
On the floor in front of him were two pitiful creatures. The woman, who had endured the bulk of the torture, lay still, curled up, unable to even face her torturers. Henderson, on the other hand, had only endured the torture from Voldemort. His tears had dried out, and he lay still on the floor, eyes flickering between the door and Snape.
Snape hesitantly turned away from the woman, and looked down at Henderson. Henderson started weeping again as Snape slowly raised his wand.
"Why?", The Dark Lord's cold voice rang out across the room.
Snape looked up, blinking back the tears that were starting to form.
The death eaters stood frowning at Snape: they clearly wanted to see the muggleborn endure more pain than the Ravenclaw.
Snape breathed in. Held. And out.
"The mudblood…naturally must be punished – not only for her articles, but because she is not worthy of the wand she held", Snape replied. "However…", he paused, "she cannot help her blood status".
There were jeers from the crowd of Death Eaters. Snape felt the colour drain from his face, but continued.
"She has had adequate punishment for the articles. This abomination beside her however…he deserves worse."
Lord Voldemort considered Snape for a moment, as the Death Eaters behind him muttered furiously.
"This man…he has pure blood. He should be begging to join…and he was. But he balked at the task before him. He is not only a blood traitor…but a coward".
Snape took one more deep breath.
"And cowardice is weakness."
A huge, terrifying smile crept across the Dark Lord's face.
"We may indeed find use for you yet…Snape".
Snape looked back down at Henderson. His eyes searched Snape's for any hint of kindness. He was pleading for his life, staring up at Snape imploringly.
There is no turning back. There wasn't then…and there isn't now.
The tears were forming in his eyes again, and Snape blinked furiously to keep them at bay. He raised his wand, and pointed it at the now sobbing face of Henderson.
"Severus…Severus please…", he wept.
She's gone forever regardless of what I do now. And she never loved me anyway.
Snape closed his eyes, and cast a spell.