Hey guys! So I re-watched some episodes of the 11th season and decided to write something. It's really short, but I hope you like it!

As always a huge thank you to my beta ForeverShippingJohnlock and my beautiful friend MyLovelyMarauder for always being there for me!

Disclaimer: Guys, I don't own them….but I think we all know what would happen if I did.

Now! Off with the story!

"…..I watched the man I love die… There's no normal, after that."

Dean couldn't offer an answer, the words were stuck in his throat. She didn't understand the depth of the scar she just scratched. A scar he had tried so hard to ignore, to forget. Now though, it was open and bleeding, and this time Dean couldn't close it, couldn't pretend it didn't exist. Not when it left a gaping hole in his chest. Not when these words hit so close to home. Too close.

He felt his eyes stinging, his heart clenching. His breath quickened, his lungs suddenly giving out. He didn't want this. He didn't want to think about him. Not now. Maybe not ever with the way things were now.

He squeezed her shoulder, a gesture meant to comfort, and got up, leaving her to grieve for a love that was lost. He left the hospital, his steps quiet, his mind screaming and his soul begging. He was so close to falling into Perdition again, and there was no one there to save him this time. His own personal hell was taking over and he couldn't escape.

He kept walking, passing the white rooms, despising how many times he had had to see them. White was an unfriendly color. Cold. Unforgiving. It was no better than black. It symbolized the void, the silence, the emptiness. It symbolized the loneliness, the ache.

He had to get out of there and fast. He quickened his pace and before he knew it he was out, away from white rooms and hopeless faces.

Ever since Cas had left, Lucifer keeping him a prisoner inside his own body, Dean felt like something was missing. No, it felt like a lot things were missing. The clueless looks when Dean said something the angel didn't understand, Cas' voice that filled the room, now replaced by unbearable silence. The dirty trench-coat that felt like home. The mere presence of his best friend that was so much more than just that.

There were things missing in Dean too. Like the safety he felt whenever Cas was around, or the smile that bloomed just because the angel was there. The way he felt complete and maybe even happy because of the angel, despite all the circumstances. The fact that he didn't feel worthless when the angel was around.

There were a lot of things missing, but the worst of all was the missing piece of his soul.

It felt like Cas was dead again. It felt like something was so close to dying inside of him, it felt like hell all over again.

And she was right, although he didn't say that to her. He couldn't get himself to. So he chose the silence instead, his friend of many years. And she was right, more than she could ever know.

There's no normal after that.

And the tears fall from dazzling green, and new cracks are formed in an already battered heart.

Sooo, that's it guys! Please leave a review as you know that I love them!

Byeeee

46captain46