(Author's Note: Here are the warnings for this fanfiction before you read it – canon character death, foul language, massive multiplayer crossover, MxM pairings or yaoi, FxF parings or yuri, MxF pairings or straight, crossover pairings, large amounts of break the cutie, a certain degree of headcanon, fillies in danger, crack pairings, and potentially things that may offend more sensitive readers. Credit goes to Lucheek and Zobe for the fan aspects and classes, credit goes to Lauren Faust for making MLP in the first place, credit goes to Andrew Hussie for creating Homestuck. Special thanks goes to my roleplaying group, especially my boyfriend for giving me inspiration for this. If you're still here? We're good. And now to begin the story.)
Dear Princess Celestia...
Sometimes, games are harder than they seem.
SFILLY
01: 4/16
BEGIN.
A young mare stands in her home, a library within a tree. It just so happens that today, the 16th of April, is this young mare's birthday. Though it was 17 years ago she was given life, it is only today she will be given a name!
What will the name of this young mare be?
WIND WHISTLER
Close, but no cigar. The mare shakes her head, a mild look of confusion coming upon her at the choice of this name, and then she appears to smile. Perhaps she knows what you are to put next?
TWILIGHT SPARKLE
Your name is TWILIGHT SPARKLE. It is indeed your BIRTHDAY, and your CLOSE AND EXTREMELY SWEET FRIENDS are to be putting a party together for you, although you must wait here until preparations are complete. Scattered about your room are a variety of your extremely wide and varied interests, the most notable being MAGIC, and a close second being one of the world's essential pleasures, BOOKS. You have a notable penchant for ORGANIZATION as well, although organizing your own itinerary seems to be quite beyond you. Nonetheless, you act as an effective leader towards your friends, most likely because you are likely the ONLY SANE MARE.
Beep. Beep.
One of your friends appears to be contacting you through Ponian. You most likely should answer her.
TWILIGHT: Answer TG.
– timidGarron [TG] began grazing with ecclusBalize [EB] at 16:13 –
TG: twilight? the party is ready, if you're going to come...if you're not, that's okay too...i'm sure we'd all understand...you're very busy most of the time after all...
EB: Don't worry, I'll be there! Where's it being held again? I'm quite sorry I didn't take note of it before.
TG: oh...we're all at the center of town...since it's your birthday a lot of people wanted to come...and we couldn't exactly say no because they were all so nice...so we're all there.
EB: Gotcha! Should I just fly there, or should I walk so I don't soar over any surprises?
TG: ah, walking would probably be best...after all, everyone's expecting you to walk in...but if you want to fly, i'm sure no one will mind...
EB: I'll walk then. Be there in a moment! Try to keep everyone occupied until then? It won't be long.
TG: oh...pinkie has that covered...she's sort of doing a clown thing...
EB: ….
EB: …...
EB: Please don't let her slam pies into Mayor Mare's face again? She didn't exactly appreciate it last time...
TG: i'll try...but you better get here fast...
EB: I'll be there right away.
– ecclusBalize [EB] ceased grazing with timidGarron at 16:16 –
TWILIGHT: Prepare to go to your party.
What preparations? You seem to be fully prepared at this moment – except for possibly...ah, there it is. Your trusty SATCHEL. It may be useful to you, and of course, it would help with carrying things that would not fit in your fetch modus. You prefer to use the CROSSWORD fetch modus, as solving it energizes your brain to some degree, which always is great. Nonetheless, you should be prepared to take off, although it shall be a bit of a walk – perhaps we should check on someone else in the meantime?
Be the best pony.
You are now a young dragon, who appears to be in a slightly more amused mood than usual. He is at the party already, but not keeping track of things much too well.
What was this baby dragon's name again?
BARNEY
The dragon frowns, crossing his arms. No, he doesn't much like that name. Care to try again?
SPIKE
Your name is SPIKE.
SPIKE: Contemplate your situation.
As previously stated, your name is SPIKE. You are a dragon of MINUTE STATURE, although considering that you are only a baby dragon, this is not too surprising. You snuck out ahead of Twilight to go to her party, and it is everything you expected it to be. Which is to say, a disaster. Your interests include WRITING (namely letters, although many would consider the concept outdated due to email – but the Princess is notoriously bad with technology, so whatever, so long as it keeps you in a job), GEMSTONES, which you find absolutely delicious, and MUSIC, namely singing and piano. Your fetch modus is SPACE INVADERS, preferring a game style of play – fun over proficiency. ~*~Your Ponian username is tricksterTapayaxin, and you prefer a typing style much like this. ~*~ Your strife modus is currently equipped to CLAWKIND, which allows you to use a good amount of claw-based weaponry, such as the claws in your hands.
SPIKE: Stop. Hammer Time.
You stop, and...ffff! No hammer around to slam into the ground dramatically. Your attempt to do SWEET MOVES is spoiled, and the ladies shall never flock to you at this rate. Curses and blast. Although you do always know that you ARE the ladies man of Ponyville. It's just the matter of getting others to know this as well.
SPIKE: Check upon the others at the party.
Your friends at the party seem to be having a bit of bizarre fun, that is to say, they're acting weird, as per the usual. Your first friend to show up was PINKAMENA DIANE PIE, or PINKIE PIE for short, and she appears to be doing a quite strange clown act. The one after that was APPLEJACK, who appears to be helping the entertainment with rope tricks. Following her was RAINBOW DASH, who is currently flying around, screaming about how she is bored due to being impatient. After her was the beautiful, lovely, and gorgeous object of your affections, RARITY, who is waiting patiently, and trying to calm down Rainbow Dash. The last to arrive was FLUTTERSHY, and at the moment, she is cowering in a corner away from everyone else. You sigh, and slowly pull out your PORTABLE PHONE (a birthday gift from Twilight) to speak to someone through Ponian.
– tricksterTapayaxin [TT] began grazing with perpetualFaille [PF] at 16:19 –
TT: ~*~ So, can I take the assumption that this plan is not going well, or not? ;) ~*~
PF: Well, it was hardly a plan in the first place, if I do say so myself.
TT: ~*~ Tsk, tsk, the one time I expected better from you. ~*~
PF: Spike, talking down to me – notably, when you are shorter than me for quite a few inches – will not help you.
TT: ~*~ Hehehe, I know. Anything I can do to help ya out there? I'll do something if possible, you know me! ~*~
PF: Keep a sharp eye out for Twilight, would you, Spikey? Her getting here would certainly calm a wave of problems.
TT: ~*~ Gotcha. Will do. ~*~
PF: Thank you, Spikey-wikey.
TT: ~*~ Anytime. ~*~
– perpetualFaille [PF] ceased grazing with tricksterTapayaxin [TT] at 17:02 –
SPIKE: Look for Twilight.
Twilight appears to be nowhere within sight. You sigh, shaking your head, then turning around and –BAM! Straight into the face of a gigantic present. "Oops! Sowwy, Spike!" Pinkie calls from beyond the gift.
"It...it's cool!" You respond, then reluctantly sit on the ground, your back against the notably sturdy present. You are the watchman, on guard for Madame Twilight Sparkle to bring to your queen, who is so above your stature that it's not even funny but somehow she likes you out of all the people in the world which makes you the happiest guy alive.
SPIKE: BE THE WATCHMAN.
Right then. You take out a pipe – a bubble pipe, mind you – and puff on it. Captain of the Guard, Spikakus the Dragon, that's your name, and you protect the lovely queen Rarity and the other members of her kingdom, because no one else can. There is the court jester, Pinkie, the fair knight Dash, the other knight Applejack, and the visiting princess Fluttershy. You protect them all, and know that your job is sacred and must always be upheld. You are a sa—fff. That kid decided to chat with you again. You contemplate if you should even answer him, then reluctantly do so.
SPIKE: Answer that kiddo.
– anlagenChateubriand [AC] began grazing with tricksterTapayaxin [TT] at 17:05 –
AC: heylo?
AC: c'mon. I know yer dere. :B
AC: coooooommmeee oooooonnnnn.
TT: ~*~ Yeah, alright, I'm here. What do you want? ~*~
AC: happy birfday! its yer birfday right?
TT: ~*~ No, it's my friend's, but thank you anyway. ~*~
AC: same difference! :B
TT: ~*~ ….Not really. ~*~
AC: whatevers! its fine either way.
TT: ~*~ I guess. ~*~
AC: so is the birfday girlguything dere yet?
TT: ~*~ Not qu—OH WAIT THERE SHE IS I PROBABLY SHOULD GO. ~*~
AC: ooh. okie. see ya tappy!
TT: ~*~ Buh-bye. ~*~
– tricksterTapayaxin [TT] ceased grazing with anlagenChateubriand [AC] at 17:09 –
Okay, it was a lie, but who could blame you? That kiddo needed a hobby, and you were not going to volunteer for babysitting duty. If only you hadn't answered the first time he started grazing with you. Bwah.
BECOME AC
Oh, but you can't become AC. Not quite yet. Nonetheless, he reaches out and taps the machine off, frowning. That wasn't the interesting conversation he'd have hoped for. It was probably the best he could get for now, however. But, we may as well check in upon Twilight again and save his little adventure for later.
BACK TO TWILIGHT.
Right then. You are now traveling through the streets of PONYVILLE. Everywhere you look, there appears to be a pony waving to you and wishing you a happy birthday. You suppose that is what you get for being an essential member of the ELEMENTS OF HARMONY, namely, the center element of MAGIC. This also may be because you have also recently become an ALICORN, and a PRINCESS besides, but you'd honestly prefer not to be, as it had pushed your previous desire of eventually becoming Princess Celestia's COURT MAGICIAN aside. Ah well. So were the breaks.
TWILIGHT: Check on how close you are to the party.
Ah, you're so close you can see it...although with how it looks, you may not want to see it. The party appears to be in entire chaos, mostly due to some of your friends and their naturally silly nature. Well, this is what happens when you do not announce the fact that you will be mildly late to anyone except Fluttershy, who for all her little heart, cannot stand up and announce anything without breaking into hives. And then, you get another ping on your Ponian. Good thing your tiara worked as a source to answer them on.
– glidingTapas [GT] began grazing with ecclusBalize [EB] at 17:15 –
GT: where are you
GT: where
GT: are
GT: you
GT: where are you
GT: are
GT: you
GT: where
GT: wheeeeeereeee
EB: I'm almost there. Patience is a virtue, you know.
GT: i was promised cake when you arrived
GT: and even if im loyal
GT: it looks good
GT: so im going to rush you
GT: because im the fastest rusher there is
GT: i will not let you take your time
GT: nope nope nope nope
GT: were timing this
GT: and time is not looking so good
GT: pick up the pace twi
EB: Dash.
GT: sorry
GT: but please get here soon
EB: I'm literally only a few steps away.
– glidingTapas [GT] ceased grazing with ecclusBalize [EB] at 17:16 –
You then hear a cry of "SHE'S ALMOST HERE!" in Rainbow Dash's voice. Somehow, you resist facehoofing.
TWILIGHT: Facehoof.
Or maybe you don't.
Whatever works for you.
TWILIGHT: Sigh and continue making your way to the party.
You decide not to make too much of a deal over it, and continue on your way into the party. As soon as you reach a reasonable distance in, you are tackled by a very familiar pink pony.
BECOME THE PINK PONY.
You are now a quite entertaining pink pony, who has currently tackled Twilight to the ground, letting out a yell of "WELCOME TO THE PARTY!" She responds with a small snort and a slightly tense "Thank you, but can you please get off me?"
What was this pony's name?
SURPRISE
Pfffhahahaha! What a silly name! The pink pony nearly doubles over laughing, waving her arms. Twilight gets up, dusting herself off. Well, at least that solved something. But maybe another name would be a bit better?
PINKIE PIE
Your name is PINKIE PIE and boy do you love PARTIES. You have one every single day, every day of the week, of course, just because they make everyone happy! Your one gift in life is to make people SMILE, something you delight more than anything in, and your SPECIAL GIFT to Twilight today will surely make her smile! Your other passions include SINGING and making PASTRIES, and your Ponian username is gigglingGenoa, though you type something like this hee hee! :D
PINKIE: Welcome Twilight with a song.
"Thiiiis is your birthday song, I hope it finds you well! We've thrown you a party 'cause we think you're really swell!"
"Pinkie..."
"Twilight's turning 17 so we've got to celebrate! The cake is delicious, the festivities first rate! There will be games and dancing, bob-for-apples, cut-a-rug! And when the party's over we'll gather 'round for a group hug! I guess you could bring presents 'cause I sure did bring some stuff! Birthdays are still about having fun with friends, not getting lots of stuff...it won't be the same without you, so gather round so we hope that you'll stayfortherestofthetimeyes! So please, oh please, just dance with me, 'cause you're our honored guest!"
"...One of those rhymes was a bit forced." Twilight grinned a bit, but she patted Pinkie on the head with her hoof. "But it was good."
Success!
Hey, wait, that would've worked as a rhyme...whoops. Well, that's what you get for making it up on the spot! Heehee!
PINKIE: Have everyone greet the birthday girl!
Yes, everyone must greet her. Rainbow is the first to get there, of course, with her speed. She lands in front of Twilight, grinning. "Heya, birthday girl! Welcome to the big girl's club, eh? Heh." She snickered. "But anyways! Everyone's interested in presents, right? So I got'cha a little something, something. Consider it a personal gift, buddy, 'cause not everyone's going to get something like this in a lifetime, much less a day." Twilight raises a brow, and you lean in, curious. Slowly, Rainbow Dash pulls out a 'book', really, something someone must've made her on a 'weather favor', she'd been taking more personal requests lately...guess that's why! "It's a personal, autographed copy of my Daring Do inspired story, Stormy Windbreaker and the ring of Starswirl the Bearded!" She stood proudly as she handed it over to Twilight, who looked at it carefully, then smiled.
"Thanks, Dash. I'm sure it'll be a bestseller."
"Damn straight it will be! I've got two talents now, I'm gonna be a Wonderbolt and a writer!"
"Well, follow your dreams..." Twilight smiled a bit sweetly, it seemed like one of those looks that parents give their kiddos when they don't really think they're gonna do something. Sometimes like how Mommy Pie looked at Inkie. Especially those times when she wanted to be a duck instead of a pony. Heehee. Ooh, looks like Applejack is next!
"Alright, Twi. I know that I couldn't 'xactly match up to everyone else's gifts, shoot, I'd be lucky to even try to match 'em, but I got'cha a little somethin' somethin' anyway." She motioned to Big Mac, who was carrying...was that a bottle of apple cider!? Lucky! "Made this for ya, to make sure you got it. Special birthday brand cider, special made...'course, don't let Spike near this stuff yet, it's a bit...more strong than the usual. Ehehehe."
"Oi, I can totally handle it!" Spike called, pouting as he looked over at Applejack. "I am not a lightweight, madame!"
"You're a no-weight, 'cause you can't drink yet, buddy." Applejack smirked at him. Spike growled, then bit his lip.
"...If kids were not here, there was a certain gesture I would soooooo do in response to that right now."
"Yeah? Well, they are, so looks like I win, buddy." Applejack stomped her hoof in amusement and – Rarity is next! Yaaaay!
"Well, darling, you're getting to be a beautiful woman now." Rarity smiled, pushing a present over. "Do unwrap it. I can hardly wait to see your expression." Twilight used her magic to unwrap it, taking it out...eee! A really pretty dress! "I thought you could use some more royal attire, you know, because of the whole..."
"Thank you, Rarity. It looks great."
"I would hope so, considering the hours I slaved over it." Rarity smiled – always so generous! And that left...Fluttershy! The hesitant pony approached, and in her hoof was a slightly larger present. Unwrapping it, it was...a stick? A fancy, purple stick, but still, a stick!
"I...I thought Owolicious would like a nicer place to stand...so I made him this new stand...w-with help from Angel of course..." She stuttered out.
"It looks great, Fluttershy. Thank yo-"
IT IS TIME.
PINKIE: PRESENT YOUR PRESENT.
"TWI! TWILIGHT!" You dive in, holding a medium-sized gift. "PRESENT ALERT!"
"J-Jeez! Pinkie! You could've crushed Fluttershy!" Twilight looks a bit startled. Well! This isn't about presentation, anyways!
"OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT!" You hop up and start bouncing up and down excitedly. Twilight rolls her eyes a bit, but she opens it. Staring at it, she looks confused.
"Pinkie...what is it?"
You hold up one of the cases proudly. "Okay, so, remember those traveling salesmen? The Shim-Sham Brothers or something-or-other?"
"Flim Flam Brothers...and I shore do remember them, even if no one else does." Applejack frowns deeply. "Go on."
"Right! So! They were wanting to sell some other stuff and I talked to them and I found theeese. They're video games! Something called SBURB. They said they got a rare release of them and they looked kinda uneasy when they handed them over but I think they look super-duper-ultra-awesome-funtastic! So yeah, I got 'em, and they're supposed to be full of adventure, and danger, and we can all play together! It sounds like fun, right?" You exclaim. Twilight looks a bit intrigued, then she nods with a grin.
"Well, if we can all play together-"
"GREAT! Let's play right now! C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" You run off! Adventure cannot wait! Behind you, you faintly hear a voice calling "But I just got here..."